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25 Signs #yourenotreallyontwitter

February 28, 2012 by Liz

Twitter Is Pencil and Paper

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Don’t get me wrong. I’m a first grade teacher. I see Twitter as a 21st Century version of pencil and paper. I do believe that we can invent millions of ways to use paper and pencil. No rules are the right way to use it … draw, write, scribble, make circles over and over, be a poet, be a novelist, make a journal. Twitter is just as open and flexible.

I’ve never been one for rules.

What prompted this list was not a rant.

Here’s what happened.

About a week or so ago, on a Saturday, I was going through the people I follow on Twitter — people I’ve met at events, people I’ve talked to on Twitter, or people who follow me that I follow back. Over the course of a few hours, I reviewed 61000+ accounts to find those who were no longer active. I started by sorting out those who hadn’t tweeted for 90 days or longer. Then I started looking at their tweet counts — some tweeted less than once a day. That’s less than 365 tweets in a year!

As I was deleting the Twitter Quitters, I started thinking of people — some of them on TV — who say

  • “I tried Twitter and I don’t get it.”
  • “No one would talk to me.”
  • “It’s stupid and silly.”

or things like that. Which led me to think, they weren’t really ON Twitter, meaning some people leave Twitter before they figure out what all of the excitement is about. They never get the Twitter experience. And that happens because they approach thinking it’s supposed to be something different than conversation.

And at some point memories of Jeff Foxworthy’s litany of ways to tell “You’re a Redneck” popped in my head and I was suddenly channeling him and tweeting with the hashtag #yourenotreallyontwitter and some folks joined in.

  1. If you average less than 1 tweet a day, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  2. If you haven’t tweeted since 2011, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  3. If you never tweet about anything but yourself, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  4. @mikeyb95 pointed out: If you haven’t connected 2 total strangers #yourenotreallyontwitter
  5. If your avatar is still an egg 6 months after you got here, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  6. @jfouts noted: If you don’t reply to mentions. Ever. #yourenotreallyontwitter”
  7. If your avatar is a picture of someone else, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  8. @ValaAfshar added: If you use twitter as a megaphone, instead of a telephone, then #yourenotreallyontwitter
  9. If your only follower is an account you also own, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  10. If someone else tweets for you, #yourenotreallyontwitter , they are.
  11. @Tivitamivita added: If you never tweet about anything but #social media bla bla, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  12. If you’re only talking to certain people because you know it will raise your klout score, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  13. @MaureenAlley contributed: if all you tweet are Pinterest-only tweets #yourenotreallyontwitter
  14. If your every tweet is 1 link and 9 hashtags, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  15. If you think of your follower group as your “list” my guess is that #yourenotreallyontwitter
  16. @CraigFifield cited: if you tweet a large % of famous quotes #yourenotreallyontwitter #youareactuallyboring
  17. If your last 40 tweets went to strangers you don’t follow and all say “buy from me,” #yourenotreallyontwitter , you’re a spammer
  18. @Theatresaurus made the observation that: if you think you know the rules of twittering #yourenotreallyontwitter
  19. @erin_mcmahon threw in: If you think you can make one-size-fits-all rules about what it is to be on Twitter, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  20. and I replied: and if you think there aren’t any rules #yourenotreallyontwitter — treating people like people counts here too. 🙂
  21. @CarltonHawkins remarked: If your every tweet is 1 link at 9 hashtags, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  22. If you only ask for retweets from famous people #yourenotreallyontwitter
  23. @mikeyb95 stated: If I can’t learn about you from your bio #yourenotreallyontwitter
  24. And finally, if you unfollow someone as soon as they follow you back …. #yourenotreallyontwitter but you already knew that.
  25. And one for those who already know all of those –

  26. @NarissaTweets reminds us: If you’ve never made a #TwitterTypo #yourenotreallyontwitter
  27. Now of course if you have a Twitter account and a password that hasn’t been hacked by a phishing scam link you clicked in an AutoDM discussing the nasty things being said about you, you’re probably on Twitter.

    What I hope is that you’re talking to folks, finding great content, learning things you wouldn’t find anywhere else, and building a neighborhood on the Internet that reflects you most uniquely and doing it just the way you find right.

    After all my Twitter isn’t your Twitter and you get to pick. 🙂

    But I hope you won’t be a Twitter Quitter until you find out what it could be about.

    Be irresistible.

    –ME “Liz” Strauss
    Work with Liz on your business!!

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Filed Under: Community, Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, LinkedIn, social business, Twitter

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