February 28, 2012

25 Signs #yourenotreallyontwitter

published this at 7:18 am

Twitter Is Pencil and Paper

cooltext443809437_relationships

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a first grade teacher. I see Twitter as a 21st Century version of pencil and paper. I do believe that we can invent millions of ways to use paper and pencil. No rules are the right way to use it … draw, write, scribble, make circles over and over, be a poet, be a novelist, make a journal. Twitter is just as open and flexible.

I’ve never been one for rules.

What prompted this list was not a rant.

Here’s what happened.

About a week or so ago, on a Saturday, I was going through the people I follow on Twitter — people I’ve met at events, people I’ve talked to on Twitter, or people who follow me that I follow back. Over the course of a few hours, I reviewed 61000+ accounts to find those who were no longer active. I started by sorting out those who hadn’t tweeted for 90 days or longer. Then I started looking at their tweet counts — some tweeted less than once a day. That’s less than 365 tweets in a year!

As I was deleting the Twitter Quitters, I started thinking of people — some of them on TV — who say

or things like that. Which led me to think, they weren’t really ON Twitter, meaning some people leave Twitter before they figure out what all of the excitement is about. They never get the Twitter experience. And that happens because they approach thinking it’s supposed to be something different than conversation.

And at some point memories of Jeff Foxworthy’s litany of ways to tell “You’re a Redneck” popped in my head and I was suddenly channeling him and tweeting with the hashtag #yourenotreallyontwitter and some folks joined in.

  1. If you average less than 1 tweet a day, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  2. If you haven’t tweeted since 2011, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  3. If you never tweet about anything but yourself, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  4. @mikeyb95 pointed out: If you haven’t connected 2 total strangers #yourenotreallyontwitter
  5. If your avatar is still an egg 6 months after you got here, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  6. @jfouts noted: If you don’t reply to mentions. Ever. #yourenotreallyontwitter”
  7. If your avatar is a picture of someone else, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  8. @ValaAfshar added: If you use twitter as a megaphone, instead of a telephone, then #yourenotreallyontwitter
  9. If your only follower is an account you also own, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  10. If someone else tweets for you, #yourenotreallyontwitter , they are.
  11. @Tivitamivita added: If you never tweet about anything but #social media bla bla, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  12. If you’re only talking to certain people because you know it will raise your klout score, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  13. @MaureenAlley contributed: if all you tweet are Pinterest-only tweets #yourenotreallyontwitter
  14. If your every tweet is 1 link and 9 hashtags, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  15. If you think of your follower group as your “list” my guess is that #yourenotreallyontwitter
  16. @CraigFifield cited: if you tweet a large % of famous quotes #yourenotreallyontwitter #youareactuallyboring
  17. If your last 40 tweets went to strangers you don’t follow and all say “buy from me,” #yourenotreallyontwitter , you’re a spammer
  18. @Theatresaurus made the observation that: if you think you know the rules of twittering #yourenotreallyontwitter
  19. @erin_mcmahon threw in: If you think you can make one-size-fits-all rules about what it is to be on Twitter, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  20. and I replied: and if you think there aren’t any rules #yourenotreallyontwitter — treating people like people counts here too. :)
  21. @CarltonHawkins remarked: If your every tweet is 1 link at 9 hashtags, #yourenotreallyontwitter
  22. If you only ask for retweets from famous people #yourenotreallyontwitter
  23. @mikeyb95 stated: If I can’t learn about you from your bio #yourenotreallyontwitter
  24. And finally, if you unfollow someone as soon as they follow you back …. #yourenotreallyontwitter but you already knew that.
  25. And one for those who already know all of those -

  26. @NarissaTweets reminds us: If you’ve never made a #TwitterTypo #yourenotreallyontwitter
  27. Now of course if you have a Twitter account and a password that hasn’t been hacked by a phishing scam link you clicked in an AutoDM discussing the nasty things being said about you, you’re probably on Twitter.

    What I hope is that you’re talking to folks, finding great content, learning things you wouldn’t find anywhere else, and building a neighborhood on the Internet that reflects you most uniquely and doing it just the way you find right.

    After all my Twitter isn’t your Twitter and you get to pick. :)

    But I hope you won’t be a Twitter Quitter until you find out what it could be about.

    Be irresistible.

    –ME “Liz” Strauss
    Work with Liz on your business!!

    Filed under Community, Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog | 54 Comments »


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    54 Comments to “25 Signs #yourenotreallyontwitter”

    1. February 28th, 2012 at 7:45 am
      Chris Eh Young said

      If you’ve never deleted a Tweet so as not to offend someone. #yourenotreallyonTwitter

      If you’ve never had someone challenge your views or opinions. #yourenotreallyonTwitter

      If you’ve never taken a great conversation and moved it offline. #yourenotreallyonTwitter

    2. February 28th, 2012 at 8:50 am
      Bob Dunn said

      Liz, I love these… every one of them is spot on : )

      What people don’t realize is not only does this make them look pathetic on Twitter, but can lose me as a blog reader as well. Nothing more frustrating than to go to a blog I have discovered, and click their “Twitter connect” icon only to find out how pathetic they are on the platform. Or worse, yet, see if in a sidebar on a Twitter widget stream.

    3. February 28th, 2012 at 10:45 am
      Erik van Erne said

      Thanks, great list

    4. February 28th, 2012 at 10:49 am
      Kathleen DeCosmo said

      I enjoyed this Post Liz. Well done.

    5. February 28th, 2012 at 11:04 am
      Andreas Wiedow said

      There’s def some bloggers I’d like to compile in a Top Bloggers List on my website.

      You’re one of them.

      What’s your policy with that ?

    6. February 28th, 2012 at 11:05 am
      Teresa de Grosbois said

      One of the funnest blog posts I’ve seen in awhile. Thanks Liz! :-)

    7. February 28th, 2012 at 11:19 am
      Tim Brand said

      Great list! Thanks for the read, it gave me a chuckle :P I’m going to use that hashtag now ;)

    8. February 28th, 2012 at 11:21 am
      Kim Reynolds said

      I wish all the churners were literally #notreallyontwitter

      Fun post. Thank you Liz! :)

    9. February 28th, 2012 at 11:22 am
      Linda Day Harrison, CPM, CCIM said

      Hi Liz,
      Love your thoughts, great post!
      Thanks,
      Linda

    10. February 28th, 2012 at 11:30 am
      Sharon said

      OMG! LOL…to true. And I am the QUEEN

    11. February 28th, 2012 at 11:31 am
      Sharon said

      Yeah,lemme finish that thought, queen of twitter mis-spells :)

      Sharon

    12. February 28th, 2012 at 11:38 am
      Leah Segedie said

      Best post EVAH!

    13. February 28th, 2012 at 11:45 am
      Kimberly (WeAllAreArtists) on yes, Twitter said

      Hey there-

      OK,I am ROLLING on the floor here because I have only been on Twitter for like 2 months. So I set my phone up to send me a text if anyone was following me (my bf does that but she is into that vampire stuff and had a huge following). Well I got up the second day and there was a text that YOKO ONO was following me. I hadn’t had my coffee yet. So I said, “No fucking way.” to the dog, the only life form present at the time. And I went and made my coffee.

      I then signed into Twitter and sure enough, there she was, with the official little sign. She is way at the bottom of my Followers. I guess she caught my tag or something, liked the bio? Who knows? Have I heard from her? Nah. I sent her a thank you for following me. I send everyone a thank you because I am a Southerner and a slave to convention and a dork.

      Anyway, adored this blog list. I abhore all of the self promotion. I realize it is a necessary evil and if and when I finish my writing, I know I shall do the same. Also the pontification. Good God. And the quotes, who knew dead people were so chatty? Thanks again. I look forward to reading your tweets. Peace K

    14. February 28th, 2012 at 11:52 am
      John Sullivan said

      You are spot on Liz . I admit that I still really don’t get twitter. What Are the Steps and items that need to be done to GET IT — Sully

    15. February 28th, 2012 at 12:22 pm
      Lisa Marie Mary said

      This is awesome and timely and wonderful, as I’ve been missing ‘the twitter that was…’ a lot lately. Trying to liven it back up for myself by dropping some and chatting up others.

    16. February 28th, 2012 at 12:22 pm
      Anne Thomas said

      still getting the hang of twitter .. I think that’s an awesome list

    17. February 28th, 2012 at 1:09 pm
      Gregory Jackson said

      Thanks Liz, super post!

    18. February 28th, 2012 at 1:10 pm
      artrotter said

      You have more than some point here so… #ImnotreallyonTwitter

    19. February 28th, 2012 at 1:10 pm
      Saul Fleischman said

      If your timeline is the .rss from one site and nothing but, no RTs, no interaction, #yournotreallyontwitter

    20. February 28th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
      Catherine White said

      Twitter is my favorite platform, and one I’ve made work for me.

      Great post Liz.

    21. February 28th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
      Larry Louzon said

      How true those are. To follow back I look for those who “are on twitter” Your list will help me filter some more.

    22. February 28th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
      Iggy Pintado said

      Great list, Liz! Can I add one?

      If you can’t communicate in less that 140 characters, #yourenotreallyontwitter

      Thanks for sharing, Iggy

    23. February 28th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
      Chris Cree said

      I find that the more work I have to do the more I’m not really on Twitter. There are only so many hours in the day. ;)

    24. February 28th, 2012 at 5:06 pm
      Kate said

      What if you tweet every five/ two /1 minutes? What if you twitter every last little thing. What if it is just too much irrelevant information. What if your tweets become visual/mental clutter? What if its boring? What if you just tweet too darned much? Maybe you’re not really on twitter…maybe you’re just annoying. Maybe you should just get to work. Anybody??

    25. March 5th, 2012 at 8:36 am
      Craig Fifield said

      Hi Liz,

      I was away when you posted this and just wanted to say thanks for the mention!

      Good idea for a post – it’s nice to see that to see that others are with me noticing the Twitter BS.

      I don’t care how (automation) or why (dreams of riches) someone ‘works’ Twitter but I do care when they don’t use their brain.

    26. March 5th, 2012 at 8:57 am
      Ted Rubin said

      Great post Liz… as always. And I agree as far as the engagement and interaction part of Twitter. But I think it is important to point out, and make people aware, that Twitter has tremendous value as a real-time search platform and many use it this way without ever tweeting or interacting in any way, in addition there are a tremendous amount of lurkers who suck up conversations, content, and info without ever tweeting themselves. In my opinion, there is great value in those masses and they should not be overlooked. I not only interact and engage on Twitter, but I publish a great deal of original thought as well as information about things I am passionate about or working on, and want all those who are simply absorbing content, searching for something interesting or valuable, and watching, to see be able to have access.

    27. March 13th, 2012 at 12:11 am
      artrotter said

      Great post Liz

    28. March 13th, 2012 at 12:15 am
      Nicolas Liu said

      Great list :)

    29. March 13th, 2012 at 12:17 am
      Gremlin said

      In the last couple weeks, a huge percentage of my tweets have come from pinterest.com, which should break a rule here. But that seems to be the sort of thing my followers like; at least one in ten of those tweets is favourited.

      If that were the only thing I ever tweeted, it would just be an advertisement for pinterest.com. But I also tweet a daily link to my webcomic, and usually a smattering of random thoughts and replies.

    30. March 13th, 2012 at 12:24 am
      Annette said

      Where is the Retweet button?

    31. March 13th, 2012 at 12:37 am
      Karleen Harp said

      What a talented Edutainer you are Liz! Love this list!

    32. March 13th, 2012 at 12:39 am
      Tom Laing (@tomlaing) said

      Great post Liz, loved it!

    33. March 13th, 2012 at 12:47 am
      Elza said

      I am really on twitter

    34. March 13th, 2012 at 1:39 am
      Lucas Wyrsch said

      Thanks Liz for sharing this great list with us!

      Twitter is an early warning system, our personal modern style telegraph that connects us to the world and enables us to switch from the first and second fundamental interactions in physics, Newton’s gravitation (your offline world) and Maxwell’s electromagnetism (once you switched on an electric bulb or an electronic device) to the third, strong interactions of quantum mechanics (your personal network of your strong ties) and fourth fundamental interaction of physics, the weak interaction (your social network of your weak ties).

      And as you mentioned in point 3 (If you never tweet about anything but yourself, #yourenotreallyontwitter) twitter isn’t about me, it’s about us!

      Have a great Tuesday!

      Best,

      Lucas

    35. March 13th, 2012 at 1:41 am
      Srivatsan said

      #Iamontwitter !!!

    36. March 13th, 2012 at 3:55 am
      Robert said

      Great Stuff!! Always enjoy. Best, Robert

    37. March 13th, 2012 at 4:25 am
      Anton said

      Nice post Liz!

    38. March 13th, 2012 at 6:35 am
      Kathleen DeCosmo said

      This is Classic!! Loved this and the style you wrote it in.

    39. March 13th, 2012 at 6:54 am
      Michael Grosheim said

      Great post. All true. As an added note, along the lines of @jfouts note, “If you don’t reply to mentions. Ever. #yourenotreallyontwitter” – a continuation is:

      If you claim to be a social media “expert” and don’t reply to mentions #yournotreallyontwitter and #yournotreallyanexpert.

      The unfortunate part is I can think of about 5 so called experts selling their “expertise” that rarely if ever engage with their followers and mentions. A few of the most sought after, highly respected ones at that.

    40. March 13th, 2012 at 7:36 am
      Jen said

      If you still have a flip phone #yourenotreallyontwitter

    41. March 13th, 2012 at 7:51 am
      Sharon McRill said

      Thanks Liz
      Love your blogs, always get something out of it!
      Let me know next time you’re in MI, would love to connect.

    42. March 13th, 2012 at 7:58 am
      Charles Pixley said

      Liz, you are constantly irresistible am only practicing harder because of you.

      Twitter is still somewhat of a mystery though i use it a bunch everyday.

      The Social Media circles and methods are daunting to master, and obiviously take time, content, connect-ability and readers, but that never stopped me before.

      Thank you for your valuable voice.

    43. March 13th, 2012 at 9:34 am
      kratom east said

      Great blog…. made me smile today…. very funny , I really enjoyed it …Thanks !

    44. March 13th, 2012 at 9:54 am
      Teresa Lynn said

      Thanks for this Liz. It’s all true and made me smile. It turns out, I’m on Twitter! :)

    45. March 13th, 2012 at 10:02 am
      Graham said

      Great list. To go with the one about having someone else tweet for you, how about using a bot to tweet the same stuff endlessly!

    46. March 13th, 2012 at 10:28 am
      Craig Daniels said

      Thanks Liz, this brought a smile to my face that will last all day.. :)

    47. March 13th, 2012 at 10:30 am
      jRuth Kelly said

      Great post, Liz! Made me smile! :)

    48. March 13th, 2012 at 11:41 am
      Don Coleone said

      Very True

    49. March 13th, 2012 at 2:10 pm
      Lori Ruff said

      Liz! You’re a hoot! Very insightful way to hep people understand the “write” way to use pencil and paper (i.e., Twitter)

    50. March 14th, 2012 at 6:42 am
      Cyndee Haydon said

      PERFECTION – everytime I read this I smile at all the wisdom – thanks Liz showing your brilliance once again ;D

    51. March 14th, 2012 at 6:52 am
      Mark J Carter said

      Thanks for saying what so many of us were (and are) thinking!

      It’s amazing that this far into the “Twitter Experience” people still don’t get that it’s all about relationships…

      What if people treated offline networking this way all the time?

    52. March 19th, 2012 at 9:18 am
      24 síntomas de que no estás realmente en Twitt… - Taringa! said

      [...] Twitter) para animar a otros usuarios a discutir sobre lo que es y no es estar en Twitter. Y en su blog personal recoge ahora las mejores aportaciones de los [...]

    53. March 19th, 2012 at 10:56 am
      ¿Eres de Twitter? « no tengo miedo a la pagina en blanco said

      [...] una cuenta en Twitter no es suficiente para estar y ser parte de la red. Hace unos días una blogger (Liz Strauss) americana creó el hashtag #youarenotreallyontwitter (no estás en realidad en Twitter) para así [...]

    54. April 17th, 2012 at 6:41 am
      Marc Zazeela said

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Liz. I don’t get the whole “rules” thing either. I like the pencil and paper analogy. When did anyone ever tell you how you were supposed to use them?

      So, who gets to make the Twitter rules?

      Cheers,
      Marc

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