August 25, 2006
Liz published this at 6:08 pm
[For those of you just tuning in, this is based on the 301 Lists that Darren Rowse's List Group Writing Project brought together. You'll find Chapter 1 here --> A List Becomes 301 Links in Story Ã¢â‚¬â€ Chapter 1 ]
On to the Cathedral
Lizzie left the restaurant. She looked both ways and made a run for it. She didn’t stop until she got to Notre Dame Cathedral. Peace and blissful quiet surrounded her. She was overtaken by the beauty and the history. For the hour that she sat there, you might have convinced our idealistic young lady that she was indeed a time traveler.
Even when she left, everything she was shrouded in new, and powerful mystery.
As Lizzie stood on the bridge looking back at the old church building, she wondered about the Mystical Power of CSS code and The A-Z of RSS.
A man in trench coat walked past her and handed her a piece of paper. “Destroy as soon as you read it” were the only words he muttered. Lizzie was grateful he was an introvert.
Still it was curious. The sun was shining. “Why the trench coat?” Lizzie thought. She viewed the piece of paper. It read 10 Indispensable (and Free) Web Resources for Students, Nine of My Favorite WordPress Plugins, 5 Ways to Improve your Affiliate Sales.
“What does that mean?” Lizzie wondered, leaning on the bridge and watching the water. Almost in answer a woman in a scarf and sunglasses, ala Jackie Onassis, stood near and said, “It means, I am the first of 10 Resources who will bring 9 Missives. You must deliver them to the address by 5 o’clock.” Then the woman walked off.
“What address==????” It was too late. She was gone, swallowed up by Japanese tourists reading aloud Top 12 Cameras of All Time: A Photo EnthusiastÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Perspctive  and discussing 10 Ways to Make Your Digital Photos Last Forever.
A parade of white swans came down the water. When Lizzie looked up, the tallest, most handsome man was standing beside her. He was Pierce Brosnan crossed with Sean Connery with just a little Dennis Quaid twinkling in those eyes.
“Ah Leez,” he said. “I love your smile. Please take my hand.”
“Romance,” Lizzie thought at last. “I am Renee Russo in Paris.” Then she saw she had a List of Mouse Games in her hand and the handsome man was gone.
The third was a little girl in a blue plaid school uniform. She had a red balloon and handed Lizzie 5 games industry job interview tips.
“Do they have Star Trek Conventions in Paris?” Lizzie wondered as a Klingon walked nonchalantly to where she was standing to hand her 5 Ways to Use MySpace to Reach Your Readers. She was number 4.
Number 5 was a Darren Rowse look alike with 101 QuestionsÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ Consumer, Political, Humorous and Starbucks. He made her wish for her computer and for a nice cafe latte with raw sugar.
The eighth resource came by carrier pigeon.
Lizzie thought, “You’ve got to be kidding.” But there was this bird flying to her with a scrolled list on its back that said, “NY Times my arseÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ Here is where I get my news.”
“Actually, these days carrier pigeon is probably more reliable. I hear you don’t change photos in photo shop ever,” Lizzie said aloud to the bird before it left.
The Five Questions You Should Never Ask seemed to float down from the air. Lizzie found THAT more than spooky.
So there, she stood on the bridge with 9 missives to deliver somewhere by 5 o’clock. It was now about 11:15 in the morning, and she didn’t know where or to whom . . . or even whether she should.
Walking to Romance
Lizzie started walking. Standing had gotten her in the middle of some plot. Walking might get her out of it. She was just beginning to get that Five Reasons Why Mornings Rock feeling, until a shadow feel in beside her.
Lizzie froze in her tracks.
A college boy about 5 foot 2, with a small voice said, “Excuse me ma’am would you buy 5 Books That Made Me an Optimistic Environmentalist?
“What? Will I what? No. I will not. But I’ll give you money to go away. Here.” That was one Parisian who made no mistake that Lizzie is American. He didn’t take the money. He ran.
Lizzie was starting to feel listless AND lonely. “I came to Paris for rest and romance and I get lists and looniness.”
She ran down by the water. Just then she heard something soft and low. It was a guitar.
“What’s that you’re playing?”
“A guitar,” the blonde young man said. He didn’t look up.
“I know it’s a guitar. I meant the music. What do you call that?”
He looked up and smiled. He won. His shining eyes showed he’d been teasing. “I call it Songs for October.”
“It’s lovely, romantic.”
“Ah, you want romantic . . . I have 5 Songs That Have Torn at my Heartstrings.
“Now this is Paris,” Lizzie thought. “I’m Lizzie Listless,” our dear girl said.
“I’m Rene Chanson.”
“You are not. That means song.”
“Yes, Leez, I am. Yes, it does.”
They talked about romantic songs and then they listed their Top 25 Romance Movies. He recited poetry. The walked holding hands..They talked modern life philosophy — how Business Needs Passion, how to Get More Done in a Day: Do Little Things, Achieve Big Things,
At the very same time, they both said, “3 Ways to Boost Your Happiness Level!”
Rene told Lizzie 10 Ways to Have a Horrible Seminar. Lizzie told ReneThe Secrets to Getting Your Thread Noticed on a Busy Forum. They drooled over 10 Cool Features of the Google Search Box together. They giggled over Things You Learn from Anime.
It’s as if they lived a whole life in a few hours. Each of them gave “My Thoughts on Marriage and Reasons to Get Married.” and Top Six Mushroom Baby Names. Lizzie even told Rene Driving from Ontario to Florida. . . . Five Ways to Keep Me Quiet.
Soon Lizzie was making The HomemakerÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s List of Lists as they walked and talked of future things together. Rene was listing the Top Seven Cuts of Meat You CanÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t Screw Up on the Grill, which Lizzie knew was a wonderful idea, because she cooks like an unlit fire.
“Either that or you could try 10 Reasons to Baffle Your Friends and Become a Vegetarian,” Rene told her.
“Never work,” Lizzie replied. “My friends refuse to be baffled by me.” Fun.
Lizzie said, “You must know My Top 10 NJ Favorites.”
Rene said, “You must know the 3 Best Unforgettable Matches since I Became a Football Fan.” Soulful.
Lizzie spoke of writing a book, Pillar Articles to Write about the Art of Creating a Joyful Life, and Rene began to set the title to music. Idyllic.
They discussed the importance of the NO!SPEC Campaign: Rundown and Roundup on the success of their creative businesses. Bliss.
Rene surprised her, when he replied with an abrupt, “Layoff – The Need.”
That change in mood led to a rousing discussion of 5 Reasons to Put Off Living With Your Girlfriend .
and was countered by Using Insect Repellent on Children | 10 Safety Tips.
Slowly Rene moved back to playing his guitar. Lizzie moved back to listening listlessly. He played 4 Ways to More Romance, but they knew they had used up all of their four ways.
Just then Lizzie woke from her reverie. “What time is it?” she asked him.
He didn’t bother to answer. She knew then that it never would have worked out.
She checked her cellphone. It showed 4:30. Lizzie still didn’t know where she was supposed to go with the 9 missives.
A deep voice spoke behind her. It was deep, American, Texan. “this way to Disney Favorites From the Disney Dog Blog. Are you coming?” Hal said.
That’s what you’ll find out in ——————-> Chapter 7
–ME “Liz” Strauss
A List Becomes 301 Links in Story Ã¢â‚¬â€ Chapter 1
301 Links in Story Ã¢â‚¬â€ Chapter 2 Lizzie Meets Fred
301 Links in a Story Ã¢â‚¬â€ Chapter 3 Lizzie Reaches the Paris Hilton
301 Links in a Story Ã¢â‚¬â€ Chapter 4 Lizzie, Jean, and Etch-a-Sketch
301 Links in a Story Ã¢â‚¬â€ Chapter 5 Lizzie, Americans, and French Bread