April 1, 2007
Liz published this at 12:10 pm
Why Me, Me, Me?
It seems to happen when we feel great, or maybe that’s when we notice it. Something comes along that pulls the rug out from under us. A domino effect occurs. What joy we had floats away. Our belief in good times, our hope gets stuck. We see people on their merry way and wonder why that isn’t us.
It’s just so easy to change how we think. Who wants to get hit by a bus crossing the street? Who wants to fall into another hole? We start filling in every blank with negatives. We start playing from weakness, not strength. After all, the world now seems such an unfriendly place.
We prepare for negatives, because positive things don’t hurt.
Self-preservation makes us think everything is about us. We unconsciously think that at the center of the universe we might be safe, and we hope that good things will find their way to us.
We’re defensive, at our least attractive, hoping without reason that positive things will be attracted to us.
7 Reasons and Ways to Leave the Center of the Universe
No one I know sets out to go to the center of the universe. In fact, most of us don’t know when we’re acting like everything revolves around us — but everyone else knows when we are.
The problem is that going to the center of the universe pushes away the very support we need to get back on the rug that was pulled out from under us.
Here are 7 reasons and ways to leave the Center of the Universe.
- People who live there are self-focused. Name an event from the Big Bang to a cat that had kittens, and people in the center will show you how it is really about them. No matter what trials you are facing; always remember to ask about the cat.
- It’s irritating and unproductive. Folks like to talk about something beautiful or compelling stories without constantly hearing about one person’s life. Constantly reviewing a problem doesn’t help solve it. Constantly replaying a past glory doesn’t give it more light. Listen more than you talk. Give people a chance to ask how you are and they’ll be more inclined to care.
- It’s the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Folks figure out that people in center of the universe have gotten themselves stuck inside the stories they tell. Soon enough they stop listening, because they know the person talking has to want to get out. Find the rewards for being part of the world where everyone interacts and come back.
- It’s the opposite of fun. Talking to someone who only sees fear and failure is like walking through land mines. Not much laughing happens when folks think they might set something off. Hang around positive people who look forward to positive outcomes. Get to know what makes them tick.
- It’s a waste of time. Worrying about what might happen never stopped rain from falling. Only taking control of what you can control will make a difference. Get back in the action. Do what you can to change what you can, that will change your outlook and makes friends.
- It’s looking in the wrong direction. ME, ME, ME is the wrong location, location, location and it won’t be heard, heard, heard. To beat the bad events that get us feeling defensive, we need a resounding success. See your future with your head and heart wired together. Make your success about helping other folks reach their goals. Nothing beats helping others as a cure for too much focus on ourselves.
- It attracts others who feel sorry for themselves. Like attract like. Misery loves company. Winners form a circle. Be the kind of person you admire and want as a friend and supporter.
At the center of the universe, we whine that the world doesn’t need us. We might need to go there for a few minutes when we’ve taken a blow. But to go missing completely is to give up and give out. It’s also not fair to the folks we leave behind.
When someone goes missing, there’s a someone-sized hole where that someone once was.
The universe does fine without us trying to change its rotational center.
We, on the other hand, miss you and your unique genius, until you come back home again.
–ME “Liz” Strauss