Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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April 14, 2008

Are You Listening to Loud Voices or Your Own?

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 7:01 am

I've been thinking . . .

about loud voices.

Ever notice that in some conversations, the loudest voices, not the wisest voices, seem to win? The Internet can be that way sometimes. Sometimes we pass on broken ideas as if they are the only way something should, could or would be done. Loud-voice logic is not always the most compelling, though it may be the most passed on.

When too much information is coming my way, I fall victim to this “loud-voice listening.” When I’m unsure and looking for answers, I find myself following loud voices, because they seem so certain themselves.

When I’m tied for time, I take the first answer that works. That first answer is usually the loudest voice nearby. Unfortunately the first answer is rarely the best answer for me. Best answers happen when I follow my own voice — not that I get it right every time.

Loud voices are wrong just as often as I’ve ever been.

It’s work sorting through voices, especially the loud ones, to figure out my own thoughts. It takes time to decide what’s worth action and what’s not. It’s an effort to see behind the words to the possible missing or broken thoughts. Time and energy aren’t resources that come in unlimited supply.

So I find the voices I trust and listen to them.

Then I wonder . . .
When I sound certain without even knowing I do, am I just a loud voice to someone else?

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11 Comments to “Are You Listening to Loud Voices or Your Own?”

  1. April 14th, 2008 at 8:20 am
    Mark said

    Laffin’

    Just a silly thought that happens so often in the “real world” but…

    Have you ever caught yourself saying;

    “I was debating with myself…”

    Think about it :)

  2. April 14th, 2008 at 8:25 am
    SpaceAgeSage said

    Fortunately or unfortunately I learned to find my own voice after placing myself under a very authoritarian (loud) voice for a long time. Eventually after much reading, I discovered that I was listening out of a desire to feel safe with authoritative people — not that they were unsafe, as the issues were mine. Finding my own center, my unique voice, and becoming grounded freed me from the need for approval from others. That lack of neediness allows me to release others from my expectations and my need to control their responses. My “certainty” — as much as anyone can have it — then can come from heart, not loudness.

  3. April 14th, 2008 at 8:27 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Mark!
    Yeah, it’s for sure that some of those loud voices are in our heads. :)

  4. April 14th, 2008 at 8:31 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    HiSpaceAgeSage,
    Once we identify our own need and give ourselves that, we can give that very thing away and do it from strength — just as you described.

    I know what you mean about listening to loud voices to be safe . . . loud voices also speak loudly about what they don’t like. We have to know who we are to know when to ignore them. :)

  5. April 14th, 2008 at 10:11 am
    Ria Kennedy said

    I am aware that some people try to influence or persuade others to think how they want, and I tend to take what they say with a grain of salt (after all, they are hardly impartial).

    But I don’t get that with you. I don’t think you are “a loud voice”, Liz. I think you speak like a great person who adds a lot of value and pizazz and comradeship to those who seek your company.

    The reason why, is it seems you are questing along with us, a life companion as opposed to a teacher, politician or parent. You are someone we call simply “friend”.

  6. April 14th, 2008 at 10:17 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Ria!
    I suppose that loud voices are situational. Some folks never seem “loud” except when they talk about certain things. I get just as lost as everyone else, and sometimes those loud voices shout me down too.
    Sometimes I tell them to “put a sock in it.”

    The second is definitely more fun.

  7. April 14th, 2008 at 10:44 am
    Karin H. said

    am I just a loud voice to someone else?

    LOL Liz

    Only human after all - just kidding. Think we all fall ‘victim’ to being loud sometimes, and sometimes we’re loud for the right reason and sometimes not. It comes with the packet I’m afraid.

    Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

  8. April 14th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
    Trisha said

    Liz - I think you’ve been reading my mind lately!

    I feel surrounded by loud voices - mine doesn’t seem to be heard very much - and the loud voices tend to intimidate me. And then I don’t listen to my own voice because I start feeling like the loud voices must know more than me. I need to work on that.

  9. April 14th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Trisha!
    Sometimes voices seem loud by the sheer number of people talking at us. Loud voices make it hard for me to talk too. They also make it hard for me to listen . . .

    On occasion, I’ve even said, “Could please talk softer? I can’t hear you when you talk like that.”

    :)

  10. April 17th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
    Anna said

    One of the things I’ve found I have to do more and more in this super connected, information overload world is disconnect and take time to think my own thoughts, listen to my own voice before I go looking for everyone else’s opinion.

    Question: Is there ever a time when our own loud voice is appropriate? Should we save it for those rare times when it really matters?

  11. April 18th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Anna!
    I just wrote a post on another blog about how I’m finding that unplugging is a good thing. Time to refuel and reflect is important to hearing what I’m thinking.

    I do think that our own loud voice needs to be there when it comes to holding our own integrity — those principles that form the fiber of what we are and believe in. If we don’t keep our voice then, we lose trust in ourselves and people can feel that they shouldn’t trust us either.

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