Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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January 20, 2008

Broken Promises in a Head Filled with Shoulds

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 7:42 am

Less Than Me

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I woke up this morning, finding myself wanting to be someone else. I had a head filled with shoulds — all things I should be doing or should be doing differently. It was playing out in my cells as some sort of anxiety, as if I’m less than enough.

Isn’t it interesting that, this word should one that I purposefully avoid when I write, becomes the word that gets my mind tied. Rather than propelling me forward to action. I sit here confused.

Each “should” taken on it’s own is a skill or discipline at which someone else excells. Not one of them is something that I particularly enjoy or need in my life.

So what’s behind these bossy feelings?

I set aside the self-imposed “shoulds.” I sit back to reflect on recent events. What I see first isn’t the good. — So much incredibly cool stuff is happening. I’m a daily celebration. — But the first thing that comes to mind is promises made and not kept. People have reasons for that. I understand. Do I really?

Maybe this is all about promises and what I believe people should be doing or doing differently. Maybe I didn’t want to judge them. So I judged me.

Suddenly, I’m not feeling the need to be someone else anymore. They can be them. I can be me. Whew! What a relief.

That head filled with shoulds is now down to one “will.”

I will enjoy letting the “shoulds” roll right off me.

Sundays are meant for much better things.

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Filed under Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog |



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13 Comments to “Broken Promises in a Head Filled with Shoulds”

  1. January 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am
    Mark said

    Hey, my friend… :) Got a chance to see this while publishing something over at my place and couldn’t resist.

    All the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s in the world don’t make my reality what it is - and I know you know that too.

    Gotta run,

    Mark

  2. January 20th, 2008 at 9:00 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hello, Mark!
    Seeing you is a wonderful thing this morning. Thank you for that gift, dear friend that you are. :)

  3. January 20th, 2008 at 9:16 am
    Joanna Young said

    Hi Liz, I’m glad you chased those shoulds away to let Liz be Liz :-)

    Enjoy a b-Liz-full Sunday

    Joanna

  4. January 20th, 2008 at 9:28 am
    Karin H. said

    Sundays are meant for much better things

    Like turning shoulds in wills? Your post made me smile, just finished my new list of items I will tackle from tomorrow on, nicely prioritised with ‘room’ for emergencies and unexpected pleasantries.
    Written them down to ’silence’ the starting-to-overwhelm/too-much-on-my-plate messages in my head. And once written down I see order, the connections and the goals much more clearer.

    That’s a prefect Sunday for me, my head can breath freely again ;-)

    Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

  5. January 20th, 2008 at 10:13 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Joanna!
    Thank you! I’m pretty glad too!

  6. January 20th, 2008 at 10:16 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Karin!
    I like your approach to owning your Sundays that makes a great way to own your whole week as well.

    I think I will do something similar today!

    Smiles,
    liz

  7. January 20th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
    Greg said

    What a great outlook. I was feeling kind of “blah” today, but your post turned it around. I’m gonna tackle my list of “shoulds” right now!

  8. January 20th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
    Robert @ reason4smile said

    Hi Liz, nice post!
    Change the should to will! Similarly, when I made a mistake, or something that I regret, often we criticize ourselves we should have done this, or we shouldn’t have done that.

    Now I’m changing it to visualizing me under construction, I’m still pursuing my goal, but I won’t criticize my mistakes, I’m still under construction, taking easy of ourselves, and laugh over our flaws and limitations.

    Here is my full post on the habit:
    Leader Under Construction (Tips not to beat yourself)

  9. January 20th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hey Greg!
    My “shoulds” almost bowled me over. Then I realized what was going on. I want just knocking myself down on my own.

    Glad to hear that you’re having a great Sunday!

  10. January 20th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hey Robert!
    “me under construction.” I so like that! I’m not a mistake because I made one . . . and I’m not lacking what I wish others would live up to either. I feel so light and valuable today!

  11. January 20th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
    Edrei said

    Yes…Sundays are meant for big breakfasts in the afternoon sitting outside the veranda with people you care for because you lazed around in bed the whole morning not wanting to get up.

    I think the most important should would be “You should be taking care of yourself and having more ‘me’ time”. Sundays for me are usually reserved for much needed self-pampering. I don’t care what’s going on. The world won’t end if you don’t do them, but your sanity would if you keep rolling them around in your head. :)

  12. January 20th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
    Mary Emma Allen said

    I try to remember, when I awake (and it’s not always easy)that this is the day the Lord has made. So I’m to rejoice and be glad. (Another way to chase the “shoulds” away.) A friend once told me she taped this to her bathroom mirror so she saw it every day as soon as she got up. I did it for awhile, then we moved and I haven’t gotten it up again. Ah! Something to put on my Sunday night list for the week.

  13. January 20th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Edrei!
    I had a big breakfast today with my family while my son is in town. It was something special. :)

    I think you’re right about taking the time to rest, relax, and reflect a while on Sunday . . . it’s so important to just refuel with a little “me” time to be able to give back to the world. :)

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