July 25, 2007

Change the World: Give Someone Perspective

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 7:15 am

Some What Ifs Are What Awfuls

Change the World!

When life gets out of control, we get fearful. It’s a scary thing not to know where everything is headed. Because we need direction, we imagine the end of the story — the story is really a plan for disaster. Doing that is human, but it’s not usually helpful.

Imagining disaster is negative. It steals focus. Yet. we all seem to draw and detail disasters at the slightest loss of control,. especially when we’re in unknown territory.

That looming disaster. We worry our “what if” into a “what awful,” and the worrying makes it horrible. In no time, we have a visual with a film on television news at 11. Often we plan what to do when the disaster happens. Our plans are sometimes violent or vengeful, negative actions. Negatives get the wrong body chemistry going. Charged up, we’re likely to cause a minor disaster of our own.

In such situations, for me, it’s almost automatic to think of one man. I didn’t know him. Once, long ago, he replaced a worry with a comprehendible vision, and he put my world back in my control. It happened when I was no more than five years old.

My dad and I were at the carnival grounds of the Illinois State Fair. Lights were colorful and everywhere. My father’s hand was in my own. He walked me three stories up to the top of the biggest slide I could ever have imagined. No. Bigger. Taller . . . and more frightful.

From the top of that slide, I could see the whole carnival. It was so high, that it had to turn and turn going down to fit in a reasonable footprint on the fairgrounds. A steel canopy covered the top one third, like that on a covered wagon. Standing on the platform at the top. I could see how far down the ground was.

No one else was up there with me and my dad. I was smart. I did the math.

The slide wasn’t wide enough for my dad to go with me. I would have to go alone. The stairs were equally scary. I was a frightened little girl, who didn’t know what scared me.

The carnival man had tattoos on his arms and was dark from the sun. But his clear as water blues were kind against the tanned face they shone out from. His smile showed respect and understanding for a child. He put down the woven mat I would sit on.

I had no courage. I was too shy to explain how afraid I was. He knew just how to frame the situation. I can’t say this is what he said, but I can tell you, it’s exactly what I heard.

“It’s up to you,” he said looking right in my eyes. “You can stay up here with me. We’ll tell stories. But I have to tell you, going down the slide is easy. You just sit on the mat and go. Of course, since you’re an especially smart one, I could make you a deal. . . . If you fall off the slide and break your arm before you reach the bottom, I’ll give you the whole carnival and $15.00.”

Even then, I knew a great business deal when I heard one. After all, I had to get to the bottom sooner or later. I could see there was no bathroom. With this deal, I might get to own a whole carnival. AND every kid knows that no one ever dies from a plain, old broken arm. So I decided to go. We shook hands on the contract.

I was disappointed when I made it to the bottom unharmed. I can’t say which I missed more — owning the whole carnival or the $15.00.

That guy with the blue eyes, the smile, and the respect for a child gave something unforgettable. It was more than courage to ride down a slide. He gave me perspective that has lasted a lifetime.

Now when I start to write my disaster story, I tell myself I’m not the one who was meant to own the carnival. Then I start thinking about how I might have used $15.00 when I was less than five years old.

We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss

______________
If you’re ready to change the world, send me your thoughts in a guest post. Feel free to take the gorgeous Change the World image up there that Sandy designed back to your blog. Or help yourself to this one.

Change the World!.

Email me about what you’re doing or what we might do. Let’s change the world one bit at a time together. Together it can’t take forever.


Filed under Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog |



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15 Comments to “Change the World: Give Someone Perspective”

  1. July 25th, 2007 at 10:27 am
    Hey, Don! said

    Well written . . . “changing the world”, or even a few lives, can be quite daunting. My wife and I have adopted 4 of our 7 kids. The other 2 are guardians who came to us in their teens and our other is our 6-month old granddaughter. 5 of our 7 have serious emotional and developmental delays, including MR and oppositional defiance disorder.

    I keep wanting to write a blog on my experience of 19 years of parenting including developing an online web series.

    But each day is almost so overwhelming I keep wondering “hmm, where do I start?”

    We also need the support of others when we’re in the midst of monumental change.

    We’re fortunate to have a family psychologist who has made an extraordinary commitment to our family and kids . . . he’s seen them for the past 16 years and calls almost every morning to touch base with us.

    Nice post and well written on taking one “normal” incident in life and creating much greater meaning from it.

  2. July 25th, 2007 at 10:32 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Don!
    Sounds like you’re changing the world, whether you like it or not. :)

    Sometimes that’s how it happens, isn’t it? We make a difference through all of the little things that seem like so much. Things get easier to write about once you start . . . :)

  3. July 25th, 2007 at 10:49 am
    Robert Hruzek said

    Liz, what a lifelong impact from a wonderful private event! Thanks for sharing it with us - you made me grow a bit today!!! :-)

  4. July 25th, 2007 at 10:57 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Robert!
    It comes back every now and then — when an airplane get terrible turbulence, in particular. I can still see the man’s face and still remember how I felt when I stood at the bottom trying to imagine a cast onto my arm so that I might have the prize and be safe too. :)

  5. July 25th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
    Mike said

    You little schemer, you! LOL

    Great story, Liz. I forget where I first read it, but in any situation where there is doubt, it’s really useful to consciously consider “what’s the BEST that could happen” to counterbalance the natural tendency to imagine the worst.

    Mike

  6. July 25th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
    zakman said

    Hi Liz!

    That must have been a fabulous experience for you to last so many years! Imagine owning a carnival on one hand and $15 (read $15 million!) in the other when you’re a five-year old!

    And…

    Quote: Imagining disaster is negative. It steals focus.

    This kicks up a thought reading or watching an interview where the interviewer asks a saint:

    “Why is it so easy to imagine doing damage and not the other way around? How come we can so easily dream up doing evil, like blowing up bridges and buildings?”

    And the saint replies:

    “Some people can’t imagine how to do damage.”

  7. July 25th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Mike!
    The best that could happen is that someone would come to tell me it’s time for a nap. :)

    Oh you meatt in ta situation like that!

  8. July 25th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Zakman,
    Thats’ a great story. Thank you for brining it over. :)

  9. July 25th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
    Mike said

    Liz,

    Come again with that last sentence? You were typing too fast again! ;-)

    Mike

    P.S. Siesta time, amiga!

  10. July 25th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
    zakman said

    Mike

    I think Liz deliberately made those typos to indicate she’s in the mood for a nap!

  11. July 25th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
    Mike said

    zakman,

    I believe you read the situation accurately! ;-)

    Mike

  12. July 25th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
    zakman said

    Oh yeah, she’s so subtle and so gentle … that’s Liz!

    G’nite everyone :)

  13. July 25th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
    ME Strauss said

    You guys were so very right. I was falling asleep. :) Now I have to go out to dinner. I’ll be back in a while. . . .

  14. August 19th, 2007 at 11:59 am
    Changing the world one conversation (or blog post) at a time | Tammy Lenski said

    [...] Give Someone Perspective considers the common mistake of turning “what ifs” into “what awfuls.” I see this mistake lived loud in clients’ fears about confronting a difficult conversation. Catastrophizing tends to make things worse and the conversation is rarely–especially with the right preparation–as difficult as anticipated: [...]

  15. December 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
    Changing the world one conversation (or blog post) at a time | Conflict Zen said

    [...] Give Someone Perspective considers the common mistake of turning “what ifs” into “what awfuls.” I see this mistake lived loud in clients’ fears about confronting a difficult conversation. Catastrophizing tends to make things worse and the conversation is rarely–especially with the right preparation–as difficult as anticipated: [...]

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