February 25, 2007
Liz published this at 8:54 am
A Good Surprise Is So Long in Coming Sometimes
Most children love surprises. Most adults wish they did. The reason adults don’t like surprises is that too many are negative surprises that we weren’t prepared for — had we been prepared, they wouldn’t qualify as surprises. . . .
The sad thing is one or two negative surprises can teach a person to live defensively, always preparing for the possible negative outcomes, imagining every worst case scenario, never to be caught off guard again.
We worry about negatives because positive things don’t hurt us.
Ellen Weber, Ph.D, told us new research shows that worrying shrinks our gray matter. So we’re really hurting ourselves and our ability to contribute when we worry defensively that way.
What if we could show folks that good surprises do still happen?
I remember research that showed it takes 5 positive statements to overcome 1 negative statement that we take to heart. But then, how hard is it to say a nice thing?
What if we passed along every kind word that we heard about someone? What if we added a few ourselves? What if we went first to find a way to show folks that we’re glad they’re on the planet, that we value their contribution, that some small thing about them is worth a positive remark or comment?
The smiles alone would be worth every word and bit of energy that we invested. Some of those smiles would even make a difference in our own lives and our businesses. Can’t beat an ROI like that.
There just aren’t enough good grownup surprises. Positively surprise a grownup, it’s surprising how wonderful it feels.
We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
If you’re ready to change the world, send me your thoughts in a guest post. Feel free to take the gorgeous Change the World image up there that Sandy designed back to your blog. Or help yourself to this one.
Email me about what you’re doing or what we might do. Let’s change the world one bit at a time together. Together it can’t take forever.