Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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April 13, 2008

Critical Skill 9: How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 10:55 am

Let Me Think about That . . .

Future Skills

Life is a never-ending series of choices and decisions. Do I get up now or wait another minute? Do I sign this contract or hope for a better offer? Do I buy a new desk or upgrade my computer?

Some choices are fun . . . Where do I take my friends when they come to visit?
Some decisions are not so . . . Do I uproot my family or give up the great job in another city?

The fun ones speed up our thinking with endless possibilities. The not so fun ones mire us in thoughts of dead-end alleys. Sometimes, we forget that we have options about how we consider and respond to choices and decisions.

The Dilemma of Logic and Emotion

It’s almost impossible to find a child who doesn’t like to solve a puzzle or a riddle. Children usually find choices fun too — when the choices are simple or they can choose again. Decisions are a little trickier, because decisions cut off other options. Most adults don’t like big decisions any more than children do.

It’s the cutting off other options that often finds us in a dilemma. No answer seems the right one. Or worse, no answer even looks a glimmer better than another.

Our brains are made to sort information, make choices, and come to decisions. No decision is particularly frightful when we face it with raw logic. But logic alone omits a good part of what makes us human. We need our hearts and our personal goals to get to a grounded, well-rounded decision.

The issue is that our logic can be at odds with our intuition and emotion.

How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions

A great decision is made from what we bring to the situation. We can’t change our views in response to every decision, but we can check our own and other folks’ views. If we open ourselves to test our thinking, a tough decision process can be one of positivity and confidence. Try approaching your next tough call in these ways.

Head - Heart List


These approaches to tough decisions help us stand outside our thinking. In the chart of Logic and Emotion, we weigh our head and heart, but we also see our intuitive or experiential bias. Revealing that subconscious bias can help us sort more quickly than the information on the list itself. When we consult our Internal Board of Directors, we open our minds to new ideas and new views.

Those new ideas and new views offer a wealth of contingencies and possibilities. The decision made from them will be grounded and well-thought. We can move forward with positive confidence about what we’ll do.

How do you get through tough decisions with confidence?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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14 Comments to “Critical Skill 9: How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions”

  1. April 13th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
    amypalko said

    This is such a timely post for me, Liz. In the past, I’ve made plenty of difficult decisions, but for some reason I’ve become stuck. I’ve got to the point now where I feel like I actually can’t make a decision just in case it’s the wrong one. So the current situation just continues. I’m absolutely going to try out your suggestion here. Thank you so much for it!

  2. April 13th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Amy,
    Decisions can easily get us stuck, especially when we spent so much of our lives in the nebulous time of the Internet.

    Getting outside our thinking — any way we can — really helps make the process easier.

  3. April 13th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
    Ria Kennedy said

    Hi Liz, I added one — ROCKSTAR! :)

    Seriously, this couldn’t have come at a better time for me. You must be psychic!

  4. April 13th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
    Tony Lawrence said

    One thing I would add:

    Once you have reached your decision and acted, don’t second guess it. I cannot stand people who waffle. Be like Caesar at the Rubicon: the die is cast.

  5. April 13th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Ria!
    I was trying to cover all of the kinds of thinking we do. But a ROCKSTAR is definitely a great addition.

    Thanks! We need each other! :)

  6. April 13th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Tony!
    If someone is going to second guess, After all of this rigorous work, I don’t suppose there’s hope that confidence is in the cards. :)

    Great point. Hold to your guns and ride!!

  7. April 13th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
    Sam R. Hall said

    On the most important decisions, the best thing I can do once I’ve “made the decision” is to find that quite place in my mind and concentrate on it. This may sound trite, but in that quiet time I can hear my gut say yes or no.

    It’s my experience that its not about confidence in making a decision but confidence in acting on it. Most of us have that internal voice that lets us know if instincts are going against what we’re saying or doing.

    @Tony: I think the wafflers of the world are the ones either too scared to listen to that inner voice or in too big of a hurry to consider their decision before acting on it.

  8. April 14th, 2008 at 7:21 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Sam!
    Reflection, finding a quiet place in my mind, is how I tap into my intuition to find out what the words in my head aren’t saying. I do that too. :)

    Good point you make about the confidence needing to be associated with following through. I agree that internally we carry a barometer of our inner truth.

  9. April 14th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
    Dianne Murphy-Rodgers said

    Hi Liz, what fab ideas, thank you!

    I’ve been meaning to call over and thank you for your excellent tips and advice, since recently signing up for your RSS feed.

    Having read Darren Rowse’s lovely post this morning, today seems a good day to let you know you’re much appreciated!

    It was lovely to see you in my list of followers on Twitter, I’m so glad I finally plucked up the courage to sign up. It was so much easier than I thought it would be!

    :o)

  10. April 14th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Diane!
    Thanks for stopping by to say that! I’m wishing I had more time to spend with folks on Twitter. I keep trying to get over there and IM’s and SOBCon keep pulling me back to my desktop!

    So I’m delighted to see you here!

  11. April 20th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
    inspirationbit said

    it is a very timely post for me too. Only last week I wrote a post asking my readers to share their experience with going solo and being your own boss vs. working for someone else. This is the decision that I have to make right now. I’ve started with PROs and CONs, then one of my readers has pointed to this post of yours and a different approach to thinking about making a decision. I’ll definitely try it. Thanks a lot, Liz.

    P.S. Your individual responses to every commenter on your blog are something out of this blogworld. You’re the proof that no blogger should ever have an excuse of not having time to respond to all comments on his blog.

  12. April 20th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Inspirationbit!
    How could I not respond to that!

    It’s a thorough decision we’re going for. I’m not one for discipline in that sort of thinking that’s why I come up so many creative models. :)

  13. July 22nd, 2008 at 5:16 pm
    What Clear Thinking Brings… | Context Thinking said

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  14. November 27th, 2008 at 6:54 am
    Dealing With Today's Massive Dose of Uncertainty | Slow Leadership said

    [...] Critical Skill 9: How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions [...]

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