Talk or Action?
When he was in high school, my son and I drove a few hours to visit a friend in at her family’s summer house. On our way home, we talked about the ways that people relate to each other.
He wondered why gossip was important, especially to the girls.
I told him I didn’t know the answer, but that I thought it had to do with point of view. I explained that through my life I had made some observations — so had his father. I said, “When you were in preschool, your dad was amazed to see the difference between the boys and girls each afternoon when he would come to collect you.”
“In what way?”
I said that the boys were all physical energy, often bouncing off the walls. The girls were all conversational, often chattering out of control. It seemed true of most young children.
I told him that I had figured it out this way.
Maybe it’s that girls do things together so we can talk to each other, and guys talk to each other so that they can do things together.
My 16-year-old said “So that would be why, then, that most guys quit having ‘best friends’ after about age 10.”
I said, “I hadn’t really thought of that.”
I don’t know that boys and girls are so clear cut definable. I’m not qualified to say so. I know I watched the boys I taught seek out other boys who liked to play the same games. I saw the girls I taught seek out games that were conversational venues. Smarter folks haven’t quite explained what makes it so. I only have my limited experience to go on.
A friend listens, understand, and knows who I am.
A friend shares my interests in action. Friends walk the walk.
Maybe the combination is where best friends for life are found.
I guess I notice, because I’m just a bit of the exception. I wonder if it’s the same or different where you come from?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!