Register for SOBCon09 NOW!!

Make your dream visible.

18 Comments to “How Do You Make the Dream Within You Visible?”

1. April 14th, 2009 at 10:34 am
   Bean said

   I admit it, I cried while reading this post.

   This is an issue that I am really struggling with, as the pajama blogger steps out from behind her computer. Behind the screen no one hears the struggled speech. No one sees that I usually need to close my eyes while speaking. The visual stimuli is too taxing while I struggle to bring down words and form them into speech. No one sees the walker, cane or service dog. No on sees a face and body distorted by almost 25 years of medical side effects. Some days I don’t look or sound so bad, but other days…

   When I am at meetings and meet ups, I am initially treated similar to Susan Boyle. Ignored, rebuked or disregarded as stupid and irrelevant. Or worst yet, pitied.
   It has been a terrifying and tearful experience to step up to the table and offer my input and assistance. Tired of being relegated to the corner or the back of the room so Ebony and I will be out of the way, I have committed myself to embodying “what you see is not always what you get”.

   This means dealing with my own prejudices and naivete when it comes to seeing beyond my first impressions. It means preparing myself with a tough skin when I venture out. It means being assertive about claiming space at the table. It means that when I do sit at that table, I am offering value and insight to the conversation. Sometimes, it also means bringing a support person with me on bad days.

   Behind the safety of my monitor, it is easier, but that is not the life I want to lead. I may not be as brave as Susan Boyle yet, but I am working on it.

2. April 14th, 2009 at 10:51 am
   Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach said

   I make my dream within me visible by walking the walk I talk…and by realizing that dealing with me is a privilege (ie, not something to be taken for granted). The same is true for everyone….but not everyone chooses to internalize that.

   When you value yourself first and foremost, you’re telling the world, I *am* worthy of you taking note. It has to come from within you first.

3. April 14th, 2009 at 10:54 am
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Ah Bean,
   Don’t you know? I cried too. For different reasons I feel the same things. I get pushed aside, ignored, made invisible. I watch happen regularly. It’s why I’m on this visible authenticity quest.

   I realize I can show people who I am so I don’t have to fight so hard for them to see.

   It’s okay for folks to see us trying, trying is what happens before we succeed.

4. April 14th, 2009 at 10:58 am
   Alina Popescu said

   Liz, right to the point, as always. I have quite a few stories about being dismissed as irrelevant, although I was the one in the room who knew most about the topic being discussed. I seem younger than my age and people rarely take me seriously.

   I try my best to remind myself who I really am and to prove my worth to those who are quick to think they know who I really am. And the best thing I can do is keep believing in my dream, work hard to make it real.

5. April 14th, 2009 at 11:11 am
   Bean said

   Liz,
   I have enjoyed your visible authenticity quest. It has resonated with me, but never as profoundly as today. Part of it is how it responds to my own personal journey but the other part is the hope that you provide. I needed to read not only about Susan again who blew people away on TV, but how YOU personally are seeing changes and shifts in your own life.

6. April 14th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
   Barb Hartsook said

   I cried too… because of Susan’s beautiful voice. (The Les Mis score is my all time favorite anyway.)

   The first time I was handed a mic in front of about 200 people and told to introduce myself, I couldn’t. My mouth opened, but that was it. My brain locked; my throat locked; and the mic was given to the next in line.

   I hated myself for that!!!

   I resolved the minute I walked off stage that would NEVER happen again. No matter what games I had to play, I would train myself to speak in public. Period. (I was in a position to be called on now and then, and I vowed never to be caught again. If I wanted to teach others to value themselves, I had to believe in me.)

   I learned to write down three small things-to-say on recipe-cards… hello, something I’d thought about while reading or talking with people, and a simple life-application as a take-away.

   And I memorized them. Not word for word, but point for point.

   My dream at the time was to stand before an audience of any size, give them information they could relate to
   and wanted to hear, and an idea to do something with when they left. I wanted to deliver it with confidence in who I was while appreciating who they were as an audience. (I’m always embarrassed for a speaker who apologizes before she says what she came to say. So I don’t. I just start.:) )

   I did study colors and clothing styles, how to dress body-types — all for the purpose of drawing the eyes of the observer up to my eyes. (And then I taught it.) When nothing stands out as a blip in your image or demeanor, then you’re free to share your authority (talent, voice in Susan’s case) and folks will listen, pay attention, and get something from it.

   When the image experts on Simon’s Talent show ( ) dress Susan properly, fix her hair and give her eyebrows their due, she will be free to come on stage and sing. And we’ll all listen.

   Yes, that first visual impression sticks. But even with the blips, once a person begins, their intelligence, authority, compassion, talent — whatever it is they bring to the table — overrides the clothing style.

   I’m not sure I knew this when I was younger — but I do now. I’ve met too many people who are not what they look like to brush them off or expect too much. Just wait.

   I’m still susceptible to the visual. Oh yes! Still learning not to judge too soon……………

   Bean, I’ve studied with you almost a year now, and I have THE HIGHEST regard for your mind and your willingness and commitment to teach what your students need to learn. Even if you have to go learn it first. If you open your mouth, I’ll listen.

   Same goes for you, Ms. Liz. I’ve read your blog long enough to admire you as well. And to listen to learn.

   Barb

7. April 14th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
   Bean said

   Barb,
   I really appreciate your acknowledgment of judging too soon. As much as it hurts me in others, I am guilty of it as well, it is a knee jerk response that I am working to control.
   Because it is a reflex, it underscores the importance of being visually authentic. People are going to react, so what can I do to ensure that reaction is going to be as accurate as possible to who and what I think I am. That helps open the door to the opportunity to really know me and what I can offer.
   So, I can’t change my speech but I did get my hair cut, even though I had put it off for more than a year!
   Watch out SOBCon, here I come

8. April 14th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
   Barb Hartsook said

   Liz, I never would have guessed that about you. Your authority as an expert resonates here. I told my husband I’d bet people see you enter a room if for no other reason than that your smile and genuine caring about people enters with you.

   I do wonder now how many of us really feel that? That we’d love for people to see who we see in us, so we don’t have to fight so hard. Hmmm… makes me think I should look at others and see more as well…

   A good thought to take with me, Liz. Thanks. I appreciate your willing to be vulnerable as you continue to grow. It gives others the right to do the same… Now I’ll quit taking up so much space in your comment area.

9. April 14th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
   Kevin Boon said

   Awesome post Liz! Authenticity is something I have found I’ve had to work towards because so much in life we’re put into roles and feel we have to respond within the role.
   Loved the video.
   Kevin

10. April 14th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Alina,
    I started to answer your comment earlier.

    Stand tall knowing you deliver.I’ve found that folks who make the mistake of underestimating us sometimes never recover, but we always do.

11. April 14th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Beanz,
    It’s been and I think it will continue to be emotionally interesting, hard, and enlightening to face the things I’ve made a habit of hiding, discounting, and not revealing about myself.

    I figure I don’t have enough future left to think that the “future me” will be doing it better. I want it now.

12. April 14th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Barb!
    What awesome advice you give here. Every word of it is great counsel for all of us. I wish I’d had you around when that first guy put a TV camera in my face and I did the same thing.

    The respect is mutual.

13. April 14th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Beanz and Barb,
    We all have to decide things by looking at people, restaurants, hotels, alleys and such. Life would be impossible if we couldn’t quickly sort in some way.

    That’s why I decided to this on my own.

14. April 15th, 2009 at 6:35 am
    Jamie Lee said

    I want to thank you for bringing up this subject and for sharing the link to the Susan Boyle video. I admit openly that the segment brought me to tears.

    Though shy as a child, I seem to have grown into my father’s gregarious genes which must have been lying dormant within me for decades. Though I’m still a wreck if I have to talk to a group larger than a few people, I enjoy chatting with strangers and sharing ideas, both virtually & in real-life.

    For better or worse, we are largely a society built on physical appearance and first impressions. Though there are those, like Ms Boyle, who will have a chance to blow the room away; the majority of folks who don’t fit the visual expectation will simply be brushed aside or glossed over. That’s a tradgedy of the highest degree.
    We all have something valuable to offer the world. No one’s gifts should be turned away because they were guilty of a fashion don’t.
    I think what resonated most for me, Liz, was what you said in response to Beanz, “I figure I don’t have enough future left to think that the “future me” will be doing it better. I want it now.”
    There is no time like the present … literally. It’s ALWAYS now or never, people. Choose now!

15. April 15th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
    How Social Media gets bloggers out of their pajamas | The Wonderful Web said

    [...] with the virtual world.  But, I am not alone. Yesterday morning, Liz Strauss posted about pursuing dreams and visible authenticity, using Susan Boyle’s audition video for Got Talent? as incentive to  look beyond. My [...]

16. April 15th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
    Anita said

    That video was so inspiring. I’ve watched it over and over again. Huge kudos to Susan Boyle for having the courage to go for her dream. I don’t have to question whether I could do that since I can’t carry a tune :p But her courage is amazing and she has the voice of an angel.

    Anita

17. April 15th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
    Over Coffee… Let’s Talk » Blog Archive » Do We Really Get What We See? said

    [...] with each other. Friends, old and new, and those we are just meeting, casually or professionally. Is what we see really what we get? And do we get what it is we’re [...]

18. April 15th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
    Dream the dream | Sliloh's Rambles said

    [...] Strauss ask how we make our dream visible. Susan Boyle sure made hers visible in a big way, and the song she chose was perfect. I think [...]