How Do You Stay Connected to Yourself?

When Your Head Says Yes, But Your Heart Says No


When we’re born, our hearts are fully wired to our brains. I’m sure of that. We cry when we’re hungry. We cry when we’re mad. Then we learn about things like “good behavior,” and “inside voices.” Then our brains start thinking about where, when, and how to follow our feelings and when, where, and how to over-rule them.

Figuring out the which is what and where is a complicated burden, so for many of us it becomes easier to choose one — usually the brain — as the default. How many times have you heard someone say, “Use your head. What were you thinking?” Or we might choose a brain default for business and a heart default for social situations.

Seriously, that’s a dis-connection. It’s as if we turn off part of our input and output systems most of the time we’re living.

Inner conflict like that can leave us with no certain direction and huge pent up emotion.
It’s hard to take action when you don’t where you’re going.


What if we re-connected ourselves to rewire our brains to our hearts — our thoughts to our feelings? It’s not such an outrageous idea. Getting out of our heads to consider situations often gives us perspective into the other people we’re seeing, how they might be feeling, even when to listen.

Being too much in our heads puts our focus on the work not the people doing it, on the product or service not the people who will use it. Being too much in our hearts gets us lost in a labyrinth of feelings without the ability to see clarity of logical reasoning.

But together head and heart can fill out the picture with meaning.

When you’re overthinking, ask yourself what makes me feel this is so important?
When you’re filled with huge feelings, ask yourself why you’re so emotionally invested?
Then check in with your hands and your feet to see which direction they seem to be recommending.

Don’t respond or react until you’ve rewired, reconnected, and rebalanced your view of the situation.

How do you stay connected to yourself?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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  1. says

    Staying grounded while laying down, sitting or standing {feet shoulder width apart} with natural normal breathing {inhale: chest and belly expands and exhale: chest and belly deflates} clears the head and works for me.

    Thank you Liz for opening and sharing a topic that’s a passion of mine, near and dear to my heart :-)

    • says

      Hi Dr. Rae,
      I so enjoy when I land on your passionate topics, you bring a new perspective to what I write. Thank you for what you add! I agree that being centered physically does so much to keep our minds and hearts connected too.

  2. says

    Have you ever read “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell. realts to the topic you are discussing here. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. A great insight on this subject and a big motivator for letting go of overthinking.

    • says

      Hi Alli!
      Yes, I read “Blink” and I’ve studied some other texts on the same subject area. Understanding what makes us move and act as we do is a fascinating subject to me. We’re somewhat irrational, yet predictable in how we are so.

  3. says

    Actions are entirely based on the state of mind. In order to stay connected to myself I will follow to keep my mind in Peace. I believe that physical exercises basically shapes your physic(though it supports control over your body,eventually mind) and it requires some time to spend. So I prefer to keep my mind stay calm. I believe it is very important. :)

  4. says

    Great points. It is so difficult at times to reconcile your emotions and your logical thoughts. I try to as much as I humanly can. Often taking the emotions out of things completely, but you can go too far in both directions.
    Striking a balance is essential, but always reminding ourselves that we are human and need to consider the rational and the emotional in all things.
    Great post! Thanks for getting us all thinking!!

    • says

      Hi Maya,
      I think we spend too much time trying to keep the two separate rather than integrating them. Without thinking we’re just feelings without a foundation to stand upon. Without feelings we lose our humanity and compassion, even for ourselves. Why do we try to make it one without the other?

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