February 9, 2014
molly published this at 3:00 am
“What’s in it for me?”¯
If you have had any sales training of any sort, this mantra will be a familiar teaching prompt which will have been drilled into your head as a means for you to help you help your customer. By asking yourself this question rhetorically, you will have placed yourself in your customer’s shoes, so to speak. Seen things from their vantage point.
In order to get what you want (ie. commission, job security, a raise etc.), you must be able to help someone else obtain what they want. Although this can appear to have a cynical slant, it’s actually quite unselfish if you can see it from a true symbiotic exchange of energy and matter.
The final aspect of the series How self-discipline shapes success, it is in disciplining yourself to see things from another’s perspective that you are able to achieve success. To recap:
- Love what you do.
- Like who you are.
- Respect yourself in others.
Sounds pretty touchy feely, huh? Believe it or not, love, energy, effort and the physical manifestation of their presence are not so very far removed from each other, regardless of how hippy dippy it sounds.
For the purposes of this post, I have reduced high math and physics to exceedingly rudimentary assumptions and theories. Based on the modern theory of matter, energy and matter are very closely related. Further, I believe that we ourselves are highly structured and articulate forms of energy, supported by a network of matter (which itself is probably a denser expression of energy).
I would also posit that there is only so much matter and energy in the form of raw materials available on this planet. Therefore, chances are good that each of us is probably repurposed from various existing carbon molecules lying around. This human genetic variation, when figured into a global model, gives us a pretty good visualization of our true common humanity.
When I say “respect yourself in others,” in the above list, it’s because quite frankly, there’s probably some of your DNA floating around out there in your neighbor, so to speak. Therefore, building from the second tenet in the above list, the extension and extrapolation of liking who you are would extend logically that you must like yourself in others (because you ARE in others).
“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.”¯ ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
You can tell much about a person by the way he or she treats others, especially those who can do him or her no good.¯ To bring this back to the “what’s in for me” symbiosis example from the first paragraph, when we discipline ourselves from a perspective rooted in respect for Other, we are, in fact honoring ourselves. Paradoxically, when we give from a position of truly wishing to elevate another, we are ourselves elevated.
I don’t think of this as the same as altruism, per se; but wanting to achieve and holding ourselves to a higher standard through discipline for the betterment of The Whole is pretty close. Closer to altruism would be the understanding and willingness to be strong for others until they could achieve strength on their own. This could be seen in a parent-child relationship; mentor-mentee or any other assumption of sacrifice on behalf of another.
Have you ever been the beneficiary of someone else’s discipline? How did it help you grow? How did affect your willingness to help another? Did you pay it forward? Can you recall times when you chose to discipline yourself for the betterment of others? What was your motivation? How did it return to you?
Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Through this action, the individual applicant benefits, as does society as a whole. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive) or like them on facebook.