June 7, 2007

How to Recognize a Friend

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:39 am

Identity and Relationships

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Since SOBCon, a lot of conversation has gone about friendship and what it means. Many words and phrases have been used to describe it.

As you read this, I’ll already be on a plane on my way to New York, where I’ll meet friends again — three already in my heart (two I’ve met, one I have not yet); two I’ve talked to on the phone; one I hardly know; and some I’ve not imagined. I’ll miss them all when I head home again.

With those thoughts in my head and my heart, I’m moved to write about how to recognize a friend when you have the luck to meet one.

Friendship isn’t hard to spot.

It’s an action, a feeling, a way of being all at once.

It’s a perception and a reality that is exchanged without speaking.

It’s the comfortable white space between the words in conversation.

It’s the smile in the eyes of someone that says, “We just met, but I know who you are.”

It’s that “come out and play” kind of feeling.

You can recognize a friend, because no matter what happens, with that person you are someone you want to be.

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14 Comments to “How to Recognize a Friend”

  1. June 7th, 2007 at 7:47 am
    Alina Popescu said

    You are right in every word you say. Sometime it only takes a minute to make a great friend, sometimes more.

    What I would like to add is this: a friend is that person who knows to forgive at times. Because, imperfect as we are, such times will come :)

    Have a safe flight and a wonderful time with your friends :)

  2. June 7th, 2007 at 9:41 am
    Ms. Q said

    “You can recognize a friend, because no matter what happens, with that person you are someone you want to be.”

    Wonderfully written!

    A friend not only knows when to forgive you (as Alina wrote) they care enough to tell you when you are doing something that is hurting yourself or others. A real friend is willing to take the risk of losing you in order to tell you something you may not like to hear.

    “Bad times and good.”

  3. June 7th, 2007 at 10:02 am
    Jesse Petersen said

    I’d say a lot of us made a lot of friends last month. I didn’t necessarily expect to “make any friends” in Chicago because of my personality and as my counselor put it “my hatred of humankind,” /nervous laugh. I don’t think anyone caught wind of that Jesse at the conference. What they all saw was the Jesse that I/he (now I’m confused) want to be.

    I’m slowly becoming more extraverted and (gasp) successful, thanks to my new wife, friends, and family.

  4. June 7th, 2007 at 11:45 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Alina!
    I see you must have met some of my friends, because they sounds just like your own. :)

    Mine and yours are both generous about their forgiveness. That’s why I feel great when I am with them.

  5. June 7th, 2007 at 11:49 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Ms. Q!
    Great to see you!

    A real friend is exactly as your describe authentic and caring enough to risk in order to let you have the truth. I agree. :)

  6. June 7th, 2007 at 11:55 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hey Jesse!
    What a fabulous comment and so from the heart. Oh Jesse, I’m filled up with gladness that friends and you are discovering in each other a place to meet.

  7. June 7th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
    GP said

    Friends are a meeting of the heart and mind.. not just of place. Have a great time in NY…. where I was raised as a young ‘un :)

    GP in Montana

  8. June 8th, 2007 at 5:05 am
    Karin H. said

    Morning Liz

    Recognising a friend is a warm feeling, deep down in the pit of your stomach (strange place for a heart? ;-) ). A feeling of trust, joy, gratefulness even.
    A friend is something you have to cherish, you have to give - not just take - to keep the friendship shining like a gem.

    Friends are what makes your world go round ;-)

    Karin H. (Keep It simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

  9. June 8th, 2007 at 6:32 am
    zakman said

    hey Liz!

    wow.. are you in NYC? I stayed there at Best Western, Sheffields a long, long time ago… just around Terminator 2 time, I think…. I loved the city and still do!

    Sorry …. no comments about friendship. Don’t dare to make any.

  10. June 8th, 2007 at 7:32 am
    Marti said

    Hope you have a safe and wonderful trip, my friend!

  11. June 8th, 2007 at 8:57 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hey GP, I’m thinking of you, friend, while I’m here in NYC. :)

    Hi Karin, It’s a new morning, but that feelings of friendships that you wrote are still so true and still so powerful. Thank you for extending the conversation

    Yep, Zackman, here I am in NYC going to a conference and meeting up with other blogger friends. :)

    Thanks Marti. You are friend of my heart — you know that. :)

  12. June 9th, 2007 at 2:17 am
    Leigh said

    So very true! Great Post!

  13. June 23rd, 2007 at 9:17 am
    How to Be Alive and 10 Ways to Celebrate It! - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. said

    [...] The Top 10 Ways to Start Living Your Life Branding: 5 Ways to Help You Find Out Who You Are How to Recognize a Friend Personal Identity: What Is [...]

  14. November 21st, 2007 at 7:58 am
    Working Smart or Working Away the Time of Your Life? - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You\’re only a stranger once. said

    [...] The Top 10 Ways to Start Living Your Life Branding: 5 Ways to Help You Find Out Who You Are How to Recognize a Friend Personal Identity: What Is [...]

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