Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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January 11, 2010

How Your Instincts Will Blow It for You, if You Don’t STOP!

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 8:50 am

Strategy Is More Than Meets the Eye

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When I was small I liked to hold up my thumb and index finger to frame a tall building in the horizon to make it seem as if the building was smaller than my hand. Today I took picture of the face of my full-sized keyboard that makes it appear as if all of the keys fit into less than a 2-inch high span.

2-inch-keyboard


We know it isn’t true, but our eyes want to believe it. Humans do that kind of thing a lot. Our senses and our instincts sometimes lead us down a shaky path. They tell us that the Earth is flat; that stars are tiny; and that when we are threatened we should fight or run.

It’s all perspective and assumptions.

How Your Instincts Will Blow It for You, if You Don’t STOP!

We have a conflict in a meeting, get a nasty comment on Twitter or some writes a critical blog post about us and instinct kicks in. Our hearts start pumping and our minds begin to form a defense. It’s the “flight or fight” instinct and it will blow it for us, if we don’t watch out.

Few things in our work or social lives need the protection from deadly consequence of the fight or flight instinct. We’re more rational now. Yet the reptile part of our brains still emits the adrenalin that makes us want to respond more quickly than our thinking. We’re ready to put out fires, but the best firefighters focus on the results.

If we respond while we’re still focused on the event, our perspective and assumptions are like the pictures of the building and keyboard — out of proportion to reality. We lose sight of other points of view and possibilities. Other people become tiny enough to squash. It’s easy to snap, crack, bend, or break something or ourselves, only to find out later that we didn’t have the whole plot.

Hard as it might be to STOP and walk it off, a little time and distance from the “event” usually brings a clearer, calmer and more appropriate response.

You might question the behavior. You might ignore it. You might express your thoughts and future expectations. Or you might end a relationships because you’ve found out that your values don’t match up. It’s unlikely that you’ll instinctively throw water on a grease fire and make things worse.

Strategy is not automatic. Strategy is doing what works.

How do you keep your instincts from blowing for you?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Filed under Marketing, Successful Blog | 12 Comments »




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12 Comments to “How Your Instincts Will Blow It for You, if You Don’t STOP!”

  1. January 11th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
    Angie Nelson said

    This is a post everyone with internet access should have to post on their computer screens. Kudos!

  2. January 11th, 2010 at 9:30 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Thanks, Angie!

  3. January 12th, 2010 at 2:02 am
    Robin Dickinson said

    Excellent, Liz.

    To learn the wisdom to not personalize feedback and develop the tact to respond powerfully and on strategy takes time and patience.

    You offer valuable pointers to achieving these things.

    Best, Robin

  4. January 12th, 2010 at 3:40 am
    Marla Schulman said

    What a terrific and well-timed post – was just discussing similar issues with another friend – how to take a new perspective in this new year.

    And, lo & behold today my “psychic” mentor answered our call!

    The line that resonated the most for me: “We’re ready to put out fires, but the best firefighters focus on the results.”

    That is going to be my new mantra –

    THANK YOU!

  5. January 12th, 2010 at 4:14 am
    Satria Nugraha said

    nice post i think. be logic and thinking more and not only using instinct.

  6. January 12th, 2010 at 11:00 am
    Deborah Richmond said

    We’ve all done it, reacted too quickly then found we overreacted. Especially when I’m stressed, I tend to go for the knee jerk reaction too quickly. So when I’m stressed I have to remind myself, don’t react, just wait. I only react on instinct now after I’ve had time to really think about it a while and can make sure my response is strategic.

  7. January 12th, 2010 at 11:28 am
    Barb Hartsook said

    Hi Liz. Your post made me think — I wrote a too-long response to you, I guess, for I couldn’t submit it for some reason. So I posted it (edited a little) on my own blog. :)

    I like how Robin says not to personalize hurtful remarks. I couldn’t agree more. I think that’s where we get into trouble. Not taking offense in the first place may well be our best defense. Hard to practice though…

    Thanks for your steps above, Liz. A good reminder.

  8. January 12th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Robin!
    I started to reply to this comment just before the server went down. Ha!
    It made it a good occasion to take my own advice and work on something else while I waited for folks to do what they could to bring things back together. Such events aren’t fun, but the world didn’t fall apart either. heh heh

  9. January 12th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Marla,
    Perspective keeps our feet on the ground when our heads are in the clouds. It keeps us thinking of other folks when we’re all about ourselves. It’s a good tool to keep around. I wish I had an unlimited supply. I don’t do so well when I’m out. :)

  10. January 12th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Deborah,
    One of the beauties of getting older is that our knees just don’t jerk as quickly as they once did. And we start to see that those crisis situations have been lived through before and figure that they might be lived through again. I stop to ask myself if the house is on fire … if the answer is “no.” I already have started to calm some. :)

  11. January 12th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Barbara,
    You probably got stuck like I did when the server went down. Glad you were able to save what you wrote and post it. :)

    It’s hard to heard criticism, even from the friendliest source. But no one would want to live without knowing the truth. Truth is what helps us change direction. Criticism heard well leads us to find our own truth.

  12. January 13th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
    How Do You Handle Hurtful Remarks? | Over Coffee... Let's Talk said

    [...] Liz Strauss says to distance ourselves from the event. Her points are excellent — think, think, realize, decide, and think some more. Read the point specifics on her blog… [...]

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