September 17, 2008
If You’re Going to Expect Things . . .
ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:31 am
My dad used to say said, “If you’re going to expect things, expect most things from yourself first. If you’re going to be a star, shine the brightest. If you’re going to be a teacher, own the school.”
When I was young I’d try to correct him, pointing out that teachers don’t usually own the school. He’d have none of my argument. He’d just repeat the entire thing again.
“If you’re going to expect things, expect most things from yourself first. If you’re going to be a star, shine the brightest. If you’re going to be a teacher, own the school.”
It’s taken me most of my life to get close to understanding what he meant or at least I’ve found my own meaning, which seems to be what he was after.
I have few expectations. What I have are much wrapped up in the words, “be nice.”
I don’t expect the world to change just to suit me. It hasn’t done so up to now. I don’t suppose it will.
Expectations frame the future with an illusion of control. No wonder his advice was to expect most things from me.
I’m still thinking on this one. I expect I will be for a while longer.
What did you expect this would be?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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image: NASA photo
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15 Comments to “If You’re Going to Expect Things . . .”




Alexander M Zoltai said
I had no expectations when I started reading.
Still…
You exceeded my expectations.
katinka - spirituality said
Sounds like you have an interesting dad
Miz Liz said
Liz. I always expect to have expectations. And that the outcome is rarely what I expect. Have accepted the latter, still working on the former.
Finding a balance is the most challenging.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Alexander!
In the strangest way, I understand what you mean.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi katinka!
My dad had a powerful effect on many lives. I was luckier than my brothers because I got him at a time when he had more quality time that got to be mine. My blog is a reflection of my dad and what he taught me.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Miz Liz,
The first adjustment I made on this issue was to figure out that the fantasy most often far exceeds the reality. So when I knew something was going to happen I stopped imagining how it would play out so that I didn’t kill my enjoyment by over imagining it.
Vicky H said
I agree with your dad’s sentiments and he must have been a strong person. I’ve found that it’s somewhat lonely to be your best. It takes very secure people to be supportive of ones success and not resent someone who’s doing something their not.
On Twitter however, I find these amazing people from around the globe who are very supportive. I have found though with many people, even family that the more you are up, the more many people want to see you fail.
Not trying to be a pessimist, but this is my own experience. Anyone else?
Vicky H
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Vicky,
My dad would say that’s why you need to hold your expectations of yourself. People change, move on, and have their own agendas. “Your enemies,” he would say, “aren’t as dangerous as your friends, because you don’t let them get close enough to hurt you.”
I like what Mother Teresa had to say about this.
SpaceAgeSage said
Control of the future is an illusion, but thankfully our ability to impact the world is not. We can help someone have a better day by our actions. We can help make our days better by our actions, too. If I want to “shine” brightly, it’s up to me to open myself up to possibilities, to non-linear thinking, and to connecting with the forces that lead me that way. I’m still working on this, but I like it when I can flow instead of force or flee.
Cath Lawson said
Hi Liz - I kind of expected the general message you gave - but I didn’t know how you were going to write it.
Mind you, I’d just been writing a post that mentioned people who expect to get things, without expecting anything from themselves first. So, the topic was on my mind.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Sage,
Like you, I like it when I can relax into my environment as well. Then when I reach, I’m not really stretching with effort, but breathing in that direction.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Cath,
I’ve stopped looking at other folks’ expectations too. Those only seem to frustrate me. I’m glad I could surprise you a little with this one. I think I surprised me too.
Todd Smith said
I love your dad’s advice, Liz! It reminds me of the work of Byron Katie http://www.thework.com.
I really like your thought, “Expectations frame the future with an illusion of control.”
Happiness seems to be there for me when I’m living simply. Instead of expecting great things, simply doing them brings me bliss.
I just discovered your blog and l love the way you bring the best out of all of us with your questions.
Thanks,
Todd
Robyn said
Hi Liz, your Dad made a real impression with this statement which makes you reach beyond yourself to be all you can be.
From what I have read on your blog you have been dreaming of running a lucrative business as a writer. You are a top quality writer and I wish you well as you seek to make a business shine whether online, offline or a combo of the two!
Work Happy Now! » Pig-Headed Determination and Discipline said
[...] a company creates specific expectations, employees are more willing to put in the effort to meet these needs. At most of my past jobs, it [...]