This section is most certainly about the clients I want. It’s a little sparse on words. In the world of needs-benefits selling, this puts forward the needs. The subhead might be stronger if it said, Outstanding and Irresistible Business, because that’s what the three questions are about.

This section is about the features and benefits of the “product,” which is me. [Each phrase in bold is a feature -- something that is delivered. The words that follow are the benefits that each feature offers the "buyer."] The execution could be more tightly done. The YOU in each benefit phrase is hidden. I need to state it outright as I did in the fourth bullet. This whole section could be a whole lot more YOU.

This section does what the section above should do. It’s interesting that I added it several days after I wrote the rest of the page. Distance from what I write helps me.

This is the proof and the call to action. If I don’t ask, people don’t know that we seriously want them to buy what we’re offering. I think this does that clearly enough.

9 Comments to “Is My ‘Work With’ Page Doing What It’s Supposed to Do?”

1. February 12th, 2008 at 9:44 am
   Joanna Young said

   Hi Liz, this is a most brilliant way to open up the ‘work with me’ box and showcase what you’re about, without being too in your face

   Seeing as you’re asking, here are a few things that occur to me…

   1. Outstanding and irrestible. It’s the first thing I read after clicking ‘work with Liz’. My first thought is that it’s about you, which would be a good description However I don’t think it’s what you mean… I think you mean my business should be outstanding and irrestible.

   Maybe grab my attention with a question: Is your business outstanding and irresistible?

   2. Connecting…

   I’d change these so each of the bullets led with “connect” rather than “connecting”, more powerful that way?

   3. In general, I think you could afford to be a lot more specific. I’m not entirely clear what it is that I’d have at the end of working with you, or what kind of things we’d do together. Conversations? Analysis? Practical action?

   For example you mention in your post that part of what you do is “write irresistible offers about a business”

   I think that would be quite irresistible… but I can’t see it mentioned in the ‘work with me’ page?

   Hope this is some help…

   Joanna

2. February 12th, 2008 at 10:07 am
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Joanna!
   Your feedback is irresistibly brilliant and proof again that we can’t be inside and outside our own thinking.

   Thank you.

3. February 12th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
   Mike DeWitt said

   Hey Liz,

   Joanna IS good. I was going to offer point 3, but I really like her other two points, particularly the “make it about me right at the top” comment.

   The two words that immediately came to mind regarding “more concrete” were ‘examples’ and ‘testimonials’. Some people prefer one over the other, but I think they’d both be helpful. Whatever can help paint a clearer picture of what the ‘working with Liz’ experience would feel like.

   Mike

4. February 12th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Hi Mike!
   I agree with all that you’re saying. Though, the testimonials are covered on the page called “What Folks Have to Say about Working with Liz.” The page had plenty of copy without them — so I gave them their own page.

5. February 12th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
   Shama Hyder said

   Hi Liz,

   It was a pleasure chatting with you last night too. Here is my suggestion. Break down your Work With page into three sections-

   1) I help businesses and people find their vision. Elaborate.

   2) Develop compelling new products and services. Elaborate.

   3) Write irresistible offers about them. Elaborate.

   What do you think?

6. February 12th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Hi Shama!
   I think it’s as brilliant as I expected your thinking to be.

7. February 12th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
   SunnySchlenger said

   This is a terrific conversation! For some reason, I didn’t realize that you wrote irresistable offers. I’ll take one of those for my new business, please.

8. February 12th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Of course I do Sunny,
   Every thing I work on is irresistible. You already knew that.

9. February 18th, 2008 at 7:23 am
   New Improved ‘Work with’ Page: Round Two - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You are only a stranger once. said

   [...] week I invited you to critique my “Work With” page. Those of you who stepped up offered so much insight and information. I had to put your suggestions [...]