February 23, 2007

No Worries for You, Me, and Martha . . .

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 5:48 am

I've been thinking . . .

When I worked in publishing, a beautiful young woman named, Martha, worked as the communications coordinator for my department. She is an amazing person, other-centered, gracious, gentle, and soft-spoken.

Martha and I would meet every morning and she was always able to tell me the exact location in the process of any lesson or piece of art across some 10,000 pages. She understood my quirks and habits. I often think on her as St. Martha.

She is such grace. I hear her say “Oh Liz,” and flash a radiant smile — the sort that people remark upon — as she reads that last paragraph. When Martha would get the slightest look of stress, I’d rush to say, “No worries,” and explain the possible worst-case outcome.

One day Martha said that she realized I picked up that phrase, “No worries” when I traveled in Australia. We talked a while about the work I used to do there. She told me she hoped I always used that phrase, “No worries.”

A few years ago, Martha moved to Houston. Gosh, I miss her. . . . This week Martha gave birth to her first born, a son.

So I write this for you, and for me and for Martha.

What ever we’re worrying about right now . . . worrying won’t fix it.

Worrying about it only takes away our brain power. With our worrying, we’re more likely to make our problems worse, not better. Our worries throw off our brain chemistry. They divert our best problem-solving energy. They channel our thoughts to a place where our negative imagining gets in the way of actual progress. We’ve left behind any chance of positive reasoning.

Change one little sound in that word, worrying and we find it’s wearing.. Oh how wearing worrying can be.

When I’m stuck in a loop, in which I can’t seem to stop worrying, I take a walk, fly a kite, clean out my closet –- do something physical that I know I can easily accomplish. I put my thoughts into the world. I get my blood moving into my brain. I let my subconscious work on the problem without my interfering help. It doesn’t need the road blocks my worrying keeps putting in the way.

That break from fretting and over-analyzing my situation brings me new energy and information. I come back refreshed and ready to face the problem minus that stress that I most surely was causing.

New resources show themselves more quickly. New solutions appear on the horizon. I figure out much more easily whether I need to find some help.

Losing my worries for a while always has a positive impact.

No Worries, have a weekend instead.

Liz's Signature


Filed under Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog |



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71 Comments to “No Worries for You, Me, and Martha . . .”

  1. February 23rd, 2007 at 6:17 am
    Karin said

    LoL Liz

    Every time I start to worry I remember the words of (here he is again) my mentor:
    “You worry too much” and he would go on explaining what I had already established, what I already had planned on/for, what I was bound to do and so on. Always said with a gentle smile and a firm hand on my shoulder.

    Just thinking about those 4 little words makes to worry go away.

  2. February 23rd, 2007 at 7:00 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hey Karin!
    Please, the next time you speak with your mentor, do tell him I send my regards. :)

    Once I read this passage, “It always seems to happen. When the time comes to make a decision, I have all of the information the decision really requires.”

  3. February 23rd, 2007 at 7:07 am
    Karin said

    I will Liz (but think I will have a lot of explaining to why he gets greetings from across the big pond ;-))

    As for your sentence: feels like a self-fullfilling prophessy (spelled right?): you have all the information, so the time has come to make the decision (or is that just me?)

  4. February 23rd, 2007 at 7:14 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin,
    Just tell your mentor that you were talking about great influencers in your life and his name came up, and that a friend was so impressed by how you described him she said to send her regards. :)

    I suppose at times it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. At other times, we don’t control when a decision must be made other variables beyond us control that, still when the time comes we have the information . . .

  5. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:04 am
    Dave Starr said

    A very nice thought to send people off on the weekend with, Liz. It’s as if you were watching over my shoulder today. I participate quite a bit in a very active forum about retirement issues. I’m one of a very few in that group who chose to make his retirement work by moving overseas. Whenever anyone wants to discus that aspect of my life the conversation immediately descends into one worry question after another. I’ve come to the conclusion many of the people in that group don’t even really want to retire, they just want to worry about retirement.

    That was the gist of a message I sent there this morning … stop worrying so much and think about enjoying life more. If “bad thing X, Y or Z” happens, deal with it then.

    Probably a few of my uber worry wart friends won’t like my advice, but darned if I’m going to worry. Great weekend to all.

  6. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:10 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Dave,
    The night before we signed the oontract to build our house in Austin, we were awaiting a price on a custom paint color throughtout the house. My husband did some math and then spent 2 hours planning how he would argue with the guy when the guy wanted too much money for the paint color to change.

    The next day we went to find out that the chanrge would be $150.00. I told my husband that he made himself miserable for 2 hours over nothing and made me live with him while he did that. That wasn’t much fun either.

    Thank goodness he got my point and we don’t spend hours on such things anymore. :P

  7. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:32 am
    Karin said

    That’s it. Made the decision.
    I won’t do any work at all today (and I don’t worry about it ;-), next week is time enough.

    (And it’s all your fault, you keep me blogging and I keep meeting so many other nice, thoughtful, helpful, funny, out-reaching bloggers this week through your blogs, it’s not fair!)

    (said with pouting mouth, feels trantrum coming up, hits enter key and smiles)

  8. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:37 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin!
    It’s about time that you took a day off! The world has been out of balance with you working so hard and not playing at all. [Lis whispers to Karin: I need someone to do some playing for me as well. I'm a little behind on my quota. I'll be catching this weekend, but in the meantime, I don't want the world to fall over. Could take care of that? ]

  9. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:44 am
    Karin said

    LoL Liz

    (whispers back: we’ll work something out between the two of us, don’t worry)

    To be hones, this week has had a ‘holiday’ feeling almost every day, so many nice, funny, heart-warming things did/are happening I didn’t/do feel like ‘working’ (and you have to consider that I see my ‘work’ as hobby - or is it the other way around, getting confused now).

  10. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:46 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi karin!
    Yeah, I know about that hobby/work thing. My favorite CFO once asked me what I did for fun. I said, “Come here.” THAT really confused HIM. I kind of enjoyed his confusion. In fact, that was part of the fun that I went there for. [Don't tell him.]

  11. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:47 am
    Karin said

    Hi Dave

    Isn’t it a great feeling to have made a decision and not having to worry about it any more?
    Your ‘comrades-in-retirement’ have made a different decision: they decide to worry - what a waste of energy indeed

  12. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:48 am
    Karin said

    Oh Liz, I wish I could have seen your CFO’s face at that moment. LoL

  13. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:49 am
    Donna said

    Great post! Just what I needed for ending the week.

    BUT, now I have that song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” in my head.

  14. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:49 am
    ME Strauss said

    Well, imagine this . . . he is 6′ 3″ skinny, gets a silly grin, and ressembles Alfred E. Newman — the guy on the cover of MAD Magazine. :)

  15. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:51 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Donna!
    Welcome!
    You should have that song in your head anymore. . . . You just put it in mine. :)

  16. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:57 am
    Karin said

    Get the ‘picture’.
    (And got ‘your song’ now)

  17. February 23rd, 2007 at 9:20 am
    Donna said

    Nothing like passing it (the song) on. Thanks!

  18. February 23rd, 2007 at 9:48 am
    ME Strauss said

    Donna,
    You have a HAPPY day!

  19. February 23rd, 2007 at 9:59 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Reminds me of the song from Lion King. Let’s all sing along! :) “Hakuna Matata! Ain’t no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s our problem-free philosophy… Hakuna Matata!”

  20. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
    ME Strauss said

    Oh Kirsten!
    Now you too!!! I’m gonna be singing all day!:)

  21. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:07 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Singing is good… it’s hard to worry when we are singing! Although I don’t sing well… my singing may cause others to worry! ;)

  22. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:08 am
    ME Strauss said

    hey Kirsten,
    No you have me singing and laughing. :)

  23. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:15 am
    GP said

    ah.. blogger synchronicity yet again… I am doing an entry on “clean out your closets and your life will work”… doing something physical, getting away from the “worry” clears both physical and mental space.

    I cant tell you how many times I’ve gone for a run and now a ride when i’m in the worry ring. What I often return to is from Lion King “Hakuna Mattata”

    GP in Montana

  24. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:26 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Singing and laughing gets those happy and creative juices flowing. I am glad I stopped by today!

  25. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:45 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi GP!
    Oh GP, I had just forgottnen that song! Now I’m singing again. Are you folks calling each other to keep me singing all day? :)

    You’re right about the closets and the running. It works the same way for me too. Well, except the part about running. I don’t do that — ever. :)

  26. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:46 am
    ME Strauss said

    Kirsten,
    I’m always glad to see you!

  27. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:51 am
    Karin said

    Vice versa.

    But I’m signing off for today (donw to the pub: it’s FRIDAY!)
    Another ‘working-day’ tomorrow and as I said to Dawud yesterday:
    See you around the Galaxy (oh sorry, blogosphere) ;-)

  28. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
    ME Strauss said

    See you tomorrow, Karin.
    Thanks for coming. :)

  29. February 23rd, 2007 at 11:53 am
    Whitney said

    Gees, Liz, but did I ever need to have someone say “No worries” today. My colleagues and I just left a meeting with a lot of worries about a deadline 9 months from now. Our experiences in software tell us we’re headed into a major mess, but the leads and PMs we report to aren’t listening, no matter what angle we come from. They either can’t hear or won’t hear what we’re trying to tell them.

    Worrying quickly turned to wearing. Rare for all of us, we all immediately dispersed on different paths out of the office after the meeting. For a walk, for lunch (even if we have something here to eat), for coffee, for peace of mind.

    We have whiteboards in our cubes. Perhaps we should all write “No worries” 50 times on them. :-)

  30. February 23rd, 2007 at 12:21 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Whitney,
    What domes after “no worries”? . . .

    “You can only do what is humanly possible.” That’s all that the rest of of humans can do.

    Breathe and have a life. :)

  31. February 23rd, 2007 at 4:39 pm
    Robert Hruzek said

    Great thoughts, Liz, truly it is my philosophy as well. Mrs. MZM always wonders how I manage it, but it is so second nature to me now…

    I have no intention of losing a moment’s sleep by worrying about it. I have found that “calm thoughts always trump worried frets”.

    … and now I’M humming “Hakuna Matata”…

  32. February 23rd, 2007 at 4:41 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Robert!
    I’m delighted you’ve mastered the art of not worrying. I have to rely on complicated medications for that. :) j/kidding.

    But I need meds soon if you guys keep putting that song back in my head! :)

  33. February 23rd, 2007 at 7:58 pm
    Ellen Weber said

    Great post and discussion Liz and all. Did you know that to worry is actually to shrink the gray matter in your brain? I’m serious…. Only recently discovered in research.

    Seems like another fair to ‘middlen reason to laugh rather than to languish! :-)

  34. February 23rd, 2007 at 8:00 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Ellen,
    I thought of you, Ellen when I was working on this one I was wondering whether there was any cortisol involved in owrrying or if that’s only with being cranky.

  35. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:07 pm
    GP said

    kristen; I guess great minds think alike :)

    I noticed (in hindsight) actually that when I was driving thru a fairly blowing snow thru the national forest enroute to ride Alle, instead of being nervous; I thought, I’m just gonna enjoy the ride; the scenery of the snow on the trees since I have to go slower. I guess today’s montana version of Hakuna Mattata

    Pumbaa: It’s like my buddy Timon always says: you got to put your behind in your past.
    Timon: No, no no. Amateur. Sit down before you hurt yourself. It’s “You got to put your past behind you.”

    another one of my lion king favs…
    GP in Montana not worrying that ’s digressing :)

  36. February 23rd, 2007 at 10:11 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi GP!
    You got me again! Great story. I’m laughing (and singing) That lion king song is turning into a theme song for this blog. I’ll have to see whether hey a have a recording of it in the limo from Butte to your house.

  37. February 24th, 2007 at 5:11 am
    Chris Cree said

    A blog could do far worse for a theme song. I personally think that Hakuna Matata is far better than, say, this song.

  38. February 24th, 2007 at 6:03 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Chris!
    Uncle!!! I do agree. You and all of the rest have convinced me. I have been converted totally to Lion Kinddomness as I type first thing in the morning with that song in my head for day 2. :)

  39. February 24th, 2007 at 8:14 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    GP- I love that part from the Lion King! And great story about going with the flow and enjoying the ride!

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t want to shrink my gray matter - so it’s Hakuna Matata for me! :)

  40. February 24th, 2007 at 8:46 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Kirsten,
    You know, the whole of shrinking my gray matter is the reason I don’t let my husband put my brain in the basket when he does laundry. . . . Another day of singing, I can tell. See how quick on the uptake I can be?

  41. February 24th, 2007 at 8:54 am
    Karin said

    Afternoon all.

    Can’t we do a sing-a-long? We’re all in agreement of which song to sing anyway ;-)

  42. February 24th, 2007 at 8:57 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin!
    Just tell us where we should all stand and when we should all start singing. Is there an International version of 1- 800 free conference.com? :)

  43. February 24th, 2007 at 8:58 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Hi Liz,
    lol! You are quick on the uptake… your gray matter must be in good shape! ;)

  44. February 24th, 2007 at 8:59 am
    ME Strauss said

    Oh Kirsten,
    Catch me at 2pm. You won’t be so sure! :)

  45. February 24th, 2007 at 9:01 am
    Karin said

    Hi Liz

    Let’s do this ‘virtual’. I will count to three:

    One, two, three….

    (No, let’s do that again, one of you started too soon ;-))

    And again: one, two, three

  46. February 24th, 2007 at 9:04 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Sorry… my bad! I got too excited and started early. :)

  47. February 24th, 2007 at 9:07 am
    ME Strauss said

    Karin, Karin,
    [Liz waves her hand madly -- in way that irritates everyone. . . .]

    Karin, someone’s not here. :)

  48. February 24th, 2007 at 9:08 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Liz - what happens at 2 pm? do you turn into a pumpkin?

  49. February 24th, 2007 at 9:12 am
    Karin said

    Liz

    Am I bovered? Am I bovered? The ones not here are missing all the fun, don’t worry, they catch-up eventually.

    ;-)

  50. February 24th, 2007 at 9:12 am
    ME Strauss said

    Kirsten,
    Let’s see I get up around 5am. Somewhere between 10-11, my global brain slowly starts to defrag from the details that collect there. Now I do write them down, but even the interruption of writing is an added detail that gets in the view of my “big picture.”

    By about 2pm, the brain is totally fragmented . . . clueless, hopelessly lost, wondering aimlessly. It’s not pretty. :)

  51. February 24th, 2007 at 9:14 am
    Karin said

    LoL Liz…. wondering aimlessly.

    don’t let the fragments worry you, go with the ‘flow’

  52. February 24th, 2007 at 9:14 am
    ME Strauss said

    Oh. OK, Karin. You know how this virtual choir thing works. Whew! What relief, I thought we had a real problem on our hands. :)

  53. February 24th, 2007 at 9:16 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    That’s when you take a nap - go on standby. Let all that information settle in and get organized… then you emerge all nice and refreshed - and sharp as a tac again!

  54. February 24th, 2007 at 9:18 am
    Karin said

    Kirsten, Hi

    Your own post (your blog) made me smile, specially the warning you give. No wonder you were so exited to ’start’ ahead of us all, you’re living your own statement ;-)

  55. February 24th, 2007 at 9:18 am
    ME Strauss said

    I know, Kirsten, I usually read a book for an hour, but first I have fun confusing people with what I say. :)

  56. February 24th, 2007 at 9:23 am
    ME Strauss said

    Yep, that’s a fact. [Liz whispers: Or it could that I'm a Googlebot with a great imagination, and I make up all of this stuff. ]

  57. February 24th, 2007 at 9:34 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Karin - thanks! I am glad you enjoyed the warning. I do tend to get a bit excited and enthusiastic at times. Especially after I have my cappuccino - or my happy cappy as I call it!

    Liz - I just listened to a podcast about the benefits of napping. Check out saramednick.com for more info. I will have to pay attention to your comments close to 2 pm. ;)

  58. February 24th, 2007 at 9:39 am
    ME Strauss said

    Kirsten,
    No one has to convince of the benefits of napping. Sometimes on the weekend I’ve been know to take TWO in one day. :)

  59. February 24th, 2007 at 9:41 am
    Karin said

    Liz, how long before it’s 2pm (so I can ‘translate’ it to my own time-zone)?

    Kirsten, added your blog to my new ‘pondering’ blog - (and into my reader also) - looking forward to more positive thoughts and ponderoppering/pondersomes?

  60. February 24th, 2007 at 9:43 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    TWO naps in one day! You are a napper! I have never been a napper… I seem to feel worse when I nap, but I like what Sara Mednick said. I might give it a try. :)

  61. February 24th, 2007 at 9:43 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin,
    It’s 9:41am here. Does that time show up on the comments? I’m GMT-6. :)

  62. February 24th, 2007 at 9:46 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Kirsten,
    It helps a LOT if you practice — seriously it does. It also helps. if you don’t nap during the change from dusk to dark.

  63. February 24th, 2007 at 9:47 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Ok… it is time for me to head out. It has been fun here this morning (as always). I am glad to be getting back to my regular routines. [Kirsten exits: twirling and singing Hakuna Matata with a bounce in her step]

  64. February 24th, 2007 at 9:49 am
    ME Strauss said

    Aw darn, that song again!

  65. February 24th, 2007 at 9:51 am
    Karin said

    Thanks Liz (and yes, it does show up on every post - should have noticed that by now ;-( darn)

    Too late for me to watch what happens to you then. Can you take a picture??

  66. February 24th, 2007 at 9:53 am
    ME Strauss said

    Karin,
    I would take a picture, but I couldn’t be responsible for the years of therapy it could potentially cause. I’m sorry. :)

  67. February 24th, 2007 at 9:59 am
    Karin said

    Liz, try me out (I can always head over to Kirsten’s to get ‘worried-out’ again)

    ;-)

  68. February 24th, 2007 at 10:02 am
    ME Strauss said

    Wish I could . . . my lawyer, who has seen them, says “Absolutely not. :) In fact, they have removed to a place where I don’t know where they are kept and no cameras are allowed around me within hours of that time. :)

  69. February 24th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
    GP said

    okay from the top… “dolce”.. one , two , three..
    Liz… did you say laundry!?!? Never say laundry to an innkeeper with a houseful of guests.

    Oh yeah… hakuna mattata… how quickly we forget… must be that gray matter.

    Chris.. bring a download of it when you visit and I take you horseback riding :)

    GP in Montana

  70. February 24th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi GP,
    SOBcon 07 Montana is sounding better and better. :)

  71. February 25th, 2007 at 9:55 am
    Change the World: Positively Surprise a Grownup - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. said

    [...] Ellen Weber, Ph.D, told us new research shows that worrying shrinks our gray matter. So we’re really hurting ourselves and our ability to contribute when we worry defensively that way. [...]

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