Obvious? Maybe Not
In math, it takes two negatives to make a positive. It works differently with people. With people, one tiny negative, even one hidden away, can cancel a positive every time.
We can’t be mad and supportive. We can’t want to punish someone and hold them in our hearts while we do. That’s the reason we can’t tease someone we don’t like.
When we’re mad and try to be supportive, when we try to tease someone we don’t like, our negative feelings come through. They leak onto the positive message we think we’re passing on.
I used to believe that negative leak was the reason that the positive didn’t survive. It’s not the reason. It’s the effect.
Now, I believe it’s because when we hold a negative thought we’ve already chosen sides.
Even the tiniest negative makes it about me, not about where we might go.
Can you see how one tiny negative can cancel a positive every time?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!