January 7, 2009
People Unfollow Me on Twitter and Sometimes I Know Why They Do
ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 7:23 am
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I’m Coming Clean Now
It’s a trick of the numbers — more coming than going out. Most people don’t know. I’ve managed to keep it quiet, but folks are going to find out. Google has my gmail notifications. Twitter could have my data somewhere on file — can’t count on a fail. Someone like that reporter who found out that Dan Lyons was the fake Steve Jobs could break the story. So I might as well come clean now.
People unfollow me on Twitter.
[Excuse for a minute while regain my demeanor.]
People unfollow me. I glad you know. It happens every day and sometimes I know why they do.
- Some didn’t want to follow me from the start. They just wanted me to follow them. Every day someone unfollow me as soon as I follow back.
- Some unfollow me because I don’t talk about what’s interesting to them. That’s got to be it because I look what they talk about and nothing say matches their Twitter stream.
- Some unfollow me because I talk too much. I found that out from a good friend who said, “Love you, babe, but my stream is too small, and you overpower it.”
- One unfollowed me because she didn’t like who I was talking to. She told me she did.
- Another unfollowed me because he misunderstood a comment I left on his blog. Somehow whatever I said to explain it just made the situation worse.
- Some unfollow because Twitter lost the connection. We usually figure that out.
I don’t “get” all the reasons people have for why they follow and unfollow folks. I suspect that some are as irrational as the reasons we buy things, sell things, and marry the people we do. Contrary to urban legend I don’t know anyone who’s died of “unfollow embarrassment.” For me, the conversation gets better the more I know who I’m talking to.
Got any ideas about why people unfollow the people they do?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Image source: sxc.hu
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68 Comments to “People Unfollow Me on Twitter and Sometimes I Know Why They Do”


Karin H. said
Morning Liz
Being rather ‘new’ to twitter my follow and follower numbers are quite low – which I like, to be honest
-
You say: the conversation gets better the more I know who I’m talking to.
Wouldn’t that also mean that those – not on twitter for the numbers game (I get notifications on a daily bases that people have tarted following me, but when – tip from Robert Rhuzek – I check their twitter page the uploads are 0.5% of the number of follows, so I block them – play without me) – but for the conversation realise that sometimes they, oops, made a mistake?
They follow, but find out the conversation going on isn’t getting better – not for them at least, for whatever reason. Then it is more honest to unfollow than to ‘hang-on’?
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
femaleprodigy said
I’ve had many tell me they unfollow me because I talk too much! I’m sorry I just have a lot to say and well… I DO!
Others unfollow me because I speak the truth and sometimes they don’t like my truth (or my language sometimes). I’m not going to change for my followers so atleast they weed themselves out for me!
Bryan Person said
Liz:
I think people unfollow for any and all of the reasons you mentioned. We tweet too much. We don’t tweet enough. Our personal tweets don’t resonate with them. They don’t like the color of our hair. Could be anything, really.
I don’t think you should worry about it; you’ll never please all of the people all of the time. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and that will work for most people. And for the others? Bleh. You’re better off without them, anyway!
Bryan | @BryanPerson
LiveWorld
sandi said
Everyone has their reasons why they will unfollow someone.
My biggest reason is simply lack of interest. We aren’t a good fit for each other, don’t share the same thinking, interests, etc.
Some I have unfollowed because their tweets aren’t appropriate for my stream.
Some I have unfollowed because I simply don’t speak Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, French, German, etc. and too many of their tweets are non-English.
There’s nothing wrong with unfollowing, or being unfollowed. I think it’s a good thing because it helps you narrow your stream down to people who are better suited to each other. Personally? I can’t keep up with 2 or 3 thousand people. I’d rather stick to a few hundred that I can honestly connect with and enjoy having good conversations, healthy debates, or learn something new.
KatFrench said
When people meet me in person, they often say “You’re not what I expected.” Or if they don’t say it out loud, their expression says it.
I think some unfollows are like that. People follow you because of the “twitter clique” your avatar appears in, and you may in fact be the Winona Ryder of that particular set of Heathers, and you’re not what they expected.
But that’s just a guess.
Chris said
Why waste so much time worrying about people unfollowing you? It annoys me when people talk about how many followers they have and how many more they need to reach a certain number. When did twitter become like myspace where everything is based on how many friends you have?
I use twitter to stay connected to other people with similar interests, if people unfollow I don’t care.
Delaney Kirk said
I’ve unfollowed if the person I was following hasn’t updated in several months.
Michele said
I’ve been wondering these same things. I blame it on the fact I tweet too much!
Seriously, though, I just ignore it. I’ve only had one “rude” encounter so that’s not bad – and I ignored that.
I hope folks don’t start dying of “unfollow embarrassment”!
*smiles*
Michele
Jim Coe said
Your list,completely comprehensive.
And you may agree with my sentiments:
I CARE NOT WHO FOLLOWS/UNFOLLOWS ME.
Most of my tweets are with my urban social media operatives in the Tweet-Up-sphere of Columbus, Ohio. And to complement our on-line social media, we Meet-Up for face-to-face social media and get things done in C-bus: The Emerging Entrepreneural Capital of the World! (also known to be the Indie Art Capital of the World)
Liz,I’d guess 5% of my tweets are from outside Columbus, and that’s for their prize content, yours included.
Jackie Cameron said
I have just noticed that someone unfollowed me today. Maybe not the first time it has happened though. I wondered about it.But then I am happy to unfollow so what’s sauce for the goose..
I am looking for connections – with people, with themes, with energy, with ideas. If I think someone is bogging that down for me I will give them a rest. It is not to say that I might not refollow some time later. I have done that.
Love this post, Liz
Wendy Bigham said
I tend to unfollow if someone tweets a lot of personal @s every 10 minutes and not much professional stuff. I can use Twitter a little bit during the day at work and don’t want to scan through pages and pages to catch up to the highlights.
But you’re not one of those chatty people Liz!
Lorraine Bal said
I will unfollow someone who doesn’t post anything but ads and promos, and links to their website.
I leave people who don’t post at all in my stream, hoping they will say something interesting.
Ming said
I unfollow people if i feel that i’m being treated as a number, or a ‘mooch’
I lose followers mostly from overtweeting, sometimes they leave me a note…if they leave me a note i remember them and continue to follow them.
(or probabbly they feel treated like a number or a mooch)
i’ve never cared really to find out who unfollowed me, and when (eventhough many have recommended magical tools that allow me to do that)
I believe that the more people unfollow you, the better the conversation gets because the people who are there want to be there.
Pamir | Reiki Help Blog said
That sign cracked me up because it’s on the way out of some town in Turkey, my birthplace.
There’s some kind of unseen balance to follow/unfollow. It flows, those meant to hug your shores & those meant to explore or spam other ones.
Joanna Young said
Hi Liz, I think it’s just like conversations – there are people we want to listen to, and others that we find slightly irritating, or grating and we move away to join a conversation that ‘appeals’ to us more. It doesn’t signify anything (not to me anyway). There are people I like, people whose blogs I follow who I can’t bear to follow on Twitter. Likewise there are people I chat to on Twitter whose blogs I can’t be bothered to read. It’s just… conversation. Thank goodness.
Stefan said
I decide to follow based on brief/first [pre]view of a limited number of posts, or based on follow-the-followed, allegedly matching my area of interest … I find out, down the road, that the ratio of noise/interesting-to-me is way higher than expected ==> unfollow. I assume and expect the same “treatment”
ME Liz Strauss said
@Karin H
Yep, I think it’s like real life, if you would stick around to have coffee, you should feel like you need to follow anyone either.
@femaleprodigy
If you can’t be yourself, who the heck are you supposed to be?
@Bryan
Got that right. I’m so with you.
susan smith said
Great post! I’m relatively new to twitter, and have only unfollowed one person who had two twitter accts that were daily trying to sell me something I didn’t want. I also switched my view settings to filter out all the @ comments. Not sure if that’s best or not. One more thing…I seem to have an equal balance of nums in followers, those I’m following, and num of updates. Is that a good thing? Thx for listening!
ME Liz Strauss said
@sandi,
yep. Everyone should do what works for their own style of conversation.
@Kat,
People sometimes organize under the most interesting assumptions. You wouldn’t believe some of things they decide about me. I’m smiling about that.
@chris
That was the point of this post. I don’t care either. I hope you heard that in what I said.
ME Liz Strauss said
@Delaney
Then there’s the folks I don’t follow to start with … they have a blank page.
@Michele
I like that “unfollow embarrassment” phrase too.
@Jim
Thank you for saying that. It feels good to hear.
ME Liz Strauss said
@Jackie
Connections are key.
@Wendy
Thanks it’s good to know. Sometimes I bore myself silly.
@Lorraine
I like that you leave room for the folks who listen.
@Ming
You make a good point about getting to the people who really want to be there.
Kriss said
I really like this post, thank you all for sharing your insight and comments. Twitter is definitely an interesting little community that I am still learning to navigate.
Jeff@MySuperChargedLife said
I guess we are all just trying to figure Twitter out. How to use it to our personal benefit and enjoyment. I might follow someone today, but then find after a few days, that they aren’t really tweeting what I’m interested in reading. No harm, no foul. It is just like changing the channel on TV if I don’t like what’s on.
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Pamir,
Being from publishing, I made sure I knew what it said before I put it on my blog.
Yeah, Joanna,
I agree conversation are very much the same. People who don’t listen aren’t really worth talking to anyway.
Pamela said
I must say – this is a really great blog article – just recently I have decided to unfollow those that are dishonest about following – in other words if someone follows me to get a follow and I follow back and the next thing I know they unfollow – guess what – I am going unfollow you!
Karma – believe in it LOL
Daniel Edlen said
I had one unfollow me, I believe he said directed at me, because of a conflict of hedonism.
That day though I’d told someone else when asked my one piece of advice: don’t take anything personally.
Peace.
Kimmy said
I think there are two reasons, no, three for my unfollowers. One is that sometimes I talk too much. Two, I can be cynical and too negative for some (at times, not always). Three: too personal (my followers are a mix of business & personal, and I get confused about appropriateness).
You’d think I’d have learned those lessons when that happened with my old blog, but I’m still queen of bitterness and TMI. Oh well. *cynical sigh*
ME Liz Strauss said
#16 Stefan,
I think the longer we’re there, we get to know how to recognize people who make conversation and relationships the same way we do.
#18 Susan
Can’t do it wrong … only rudely.
#22 Kriss
Always remember there’s a person at the other side of the screen and you’ll be fine.
#24 Jeff
I wish more folks would catch on to that.
#25 Pamela
Yeah, I don’t like sneaky folks either.
ME Liz Strauss said
Daniel,
“Conflict of hedonism” I’m not even sure what that means.
Kathy @ Virtual Impax said
I personally ADORE your “tweet” style…which is in DIRECT opposition to those who want to regale me as to what they had for breakfast and yet others who only tweet their latest blog post and “get rich reading porn” affiliate link.
I also ADORE your outlook on the whole “unfollow” thing. It’s very “emotionally healthy” on your part!
Rosy said
Nice post, Liz. Before I follow someone, I read their updates and websites. I don’t want to be a “flip-Flop” follower. I want to make sure I want to follow someone. I want learn and laugh. I get a lot of new followers that are new to twitter. Months ago, I use to follow back, but the second I did, I got unfollowed. Hello, at least read my tweets. Now, I try not to take it personal, because I know everyone has a choice.
James A Woods said
I unfollowed one of my favorite bloggers because I got tired of hearing about what was on his iPod or what he was eating every few minutes.
I unfollowed a marketer because all she talked about was how I should use her products and services.
Christian Messer said
Liz -
I believe you nailed it – the unfollow reasoning can be as varied and as irrational as the purchases we make, etc. I am a little surprised that you do keep track of who unfollows you.
I decided a while ago to not pay attention to who unfollows me, which meant cutting the ties with Quitter. I agreed with a blog post – being notified when someone unfollows you just creates negative energy and useless time of trying to figure out the unfollower’s rational. It is a service that isn’t quite fine tuned either -you’d assume the last tweet was what did it, but that isn’t the case.
I also don’t focus on how many followers I have, which I find intriguing when others tout their numbers…and then beg for more. How on earth can you have any communal relationship with 3,500 people? Impossible. And they want more?
Twitter is about conversation, building community, networking and helping said community. I feel, that if I am being myself, offering up good tweet-content, strengthening my own brand and help others build their community, I’ve done my work well. If the # followers I have escalates because of this, it is not because I have pined for them, it is because they truly feel I have something of value to offer to the conversation.
Kevin Boon said
Follow, Un-Follow! There are only so many quality relationships you can develop.
People tend to be sensitive beings and any little trigger can set them off. I’ve found I don’t lose any sleep about it.
Kevin
Jeff Fisher LogoMotives said
I guess I’m a bit more concerned about the quality of my followers, and those I follow, on Twitter. I follow those who are providing information of interest and importance to my business – with a few personal friends thrown in. Those following me tend to be design peers, design students and members of the media. I’m not putting time and effort into begging others to follow me just for the sake of numbers.
In my case there is great value in promoting and marketing to people who are doing exactly what I are doing. As an author, magazine/blog writer and public speaker for the industry, those in my own career field are my audience – resulting in article writing requests, public speaking engagements, book sales, and media invitations to be interviewed or provide input for articles. Following those in my industry helps me keep up with what is going on in design, PR, marketing, publishing and general business.
Since first participating on Twitter about three months ago, traffic to my web presence and blogs has more than doubled. Several new clients have found their way to my business as a result of Twitter.
The other day I did a quick inventory of those I was following. If the tweeter hadn’t posted anything in a couple months I “unfollowed” them. It was my new year’s Twitter housecleaning.
http://twitter.com/LogoMotives
Joann Sondy said
I unfollowed a person this week because my tolerance for his politics became offending. I’m usually very tolerant and appreciate both sides of the platform; but he crossed the line.
I’ve unfollowed a few others for similar reasons. If you want to engage in conversation(s) that’s good; but do it without the hatefulness.
JR Moreau said
I think people un-follow me because I’m not Guy Kawasaki or Seth Godin. When I don’t have insight on what they want, then I’m useless as far as their concerned.
Doesn’t bother me, because I’m there for information collection and re-distribution. I’m part of the web.
Betsy Wuebker said
Fiddle dee dee, I’m just not going to worry about it (hair toss)!
And neither should you, Liz, because you’re swell.
mayhemstudios said
I retweet/tweet a lot. Anything that may benefit my followers(designers, seo,pr, creatives, marketing, writers). That is the main reason why people unfollow me. I know I’m not for everyone.
I do follow people that I admire and are interested in, no matter if they follow back or not. I do engage people that don’t follow me. Some eventually follow back from our exchanges.
I came to the conclusion there 2 types of people on Twitter. People like me that like to have fun yet use twitter as promotional tool. The other are those that only want to stay in touch with friends and family, not into any self-promotion or marketing.
I do keep track of who is not following to clean out my tweeter stream and clutter.
@mayhemstudios
Rudy said
People unfollowed me on my religious views. It was worse during the Prop 8 thing.
People tend to disagree with me, I understand that. When they unfollow, it’s completely their choice and I understand that too.
Robert Hruzek said
I can’t believe people unfollow YOU, Liz! Reminds me of me, actually. When I first dropped by here (back a ways), I was so overwhelmed I stayed away for awhile. (To my shame, now.)
Finally dipped my toes in again and wow, what a great place you have here, y’know?
Truth is, I don’t really think about how many follow or unfollow me. Don’t have time for it, for one thing. Besides, those of us who stick around have a great time anyway.
As far as I can see, it’s just the natural way communities form!
Jan Tallent said
hi, Liz. I follow you and you follow me, so that is the important thing, lol. No, seriously, I KNOW I am WAY too chatty, have the highest update number of anyone I follow, but I am on twitter for the interaction between my peers and figure if I am too chatty people have the option of scrolling past my tweets or the UNfollow. I have UNfollowed those who tweet ten times in a row in my stream of over 1500 people I follow but never interact with anyone or who will not reply to a direct tweet from me to them when I try to engage them over 4 or 5 times yet I know they are currently in the stream and reply back to just one or two others who are no more interesting than ME, lol.
I have noticed as I get closer to 2,000 followERS that a lot follow me to get me to follow them back because right after they do, with NO NEW tweets on my part to somehow offend or turn them off, they unfollow me or even worse, pile up my DM box with several blatant ad tweets but still will not even interact with me publicly!
I always find you interesting or entertaining and am with you for the long haul.
Jan
jantallent on twitter
Janice Cartier said
How many paranoids do you think are on twitter? And do shrinks use twitter as a therapeutic tool to show them that being followed is not necessarily a bad thing? Just a Steve Wright moment there…;-)
Unfollow/follow doesn’t seem much different from say going to a party , having a conversation or two and then going on to a different party… Not to be taken personally I think. Like schools of fish swimming too. Dart here, dart there.
But then I haven’t jumped in the pond yet.
Staci J. Shelton said
There are SO many reasons people unfollow. I know people who like to follow and un-follow just because. Meet new people, get bored or what ever.
I unfollow if your only updates are links to buy something or to a blog or if there’s no real interaction, just to name a few.
For me, personally Twitter is a community and if you’re a voyeur (following a ton, but not interacting or posting), or narcissist (following almost no one, but have a ton of people following you), then I’m not interested generally.
Great post and awesome conversation!!
http://www.twitter.com/stacijshelton
Geoff Livingston said
Unfollowing is a cause for celebration! Somoneone has self selected themselves as a person who is not a true SOB community member. Next!
Amy said
Top 13 Reasons I’ve Been Unfollowed (The ones people have actually told me about.)
1. I talk too much.
2. I never talk about writing.
3. I never talk about social media.
4. I talk too much about writing and/or social media.
5. I’m not a WAHM and they thought I was.
6. I’m not a Christian and they thought I was.
7. I’m gay and they’re not. (It’s extremely important, apparently, that I know this. Even though I think they’re ugly.)
8. I’m not gay enough.
9. I am confusing.
10. I am confusing and I talk too much. But not about writing or social media.
11. I’m friends with lawyers.
12. I won’t promote their product I don’t care about.
13. I’ve never made an x-rated movie. Nor will I do so in the future, even upon request.
So yeah… I can’t take the unfollowing too seriously. Otherwise, I’d kill myself.
DaveMurr said
Maybe its bright light syndrome..
Hey whats that!?
Who’s that!?
Oh hey – what are they talking about!?
A burst of excitement for something/someone new and then its off to the next person. The effect is that you may be unfollowed because you had your 5 seconds to impress and failed..
I know I’ve had people unfollow me because I didn’t represent who or what they thought I represented.
The other day I blogged about hockey and I received new followers who obviously into hockey – though I like hockey, thats not necessarily what I talk about – so they left.
Perhaps we don’t take the time to invest in researching (don’t like that word – but couldn’t think of a better one) who we initially follow.
Michele said
@Amy – People have really taken the time to let you know all that? Geez.
Amy said
Michele — yeah, seriously.
To steal another line from Ellen Degeneres… “We humans worry WAY too much about what people are thinking about us, while all the time they’re just busy worrying what we think about THEM.”
Michele said
Hmmm… That is true. Well, I have fallen into the category of worrying what other people think about me before. Now I tell myself when they don’t want to be around me, it’s their loss. Really it is ’cause I’m an okay gal – and so are you.
ME Liz Strauss said
I don’t really worry about people who unfollow me. I do like to know why because I like to know everything about how people think and what they do.
I don’t use Qwitter. I just noticed the number of email notifications compared to the number of followers I currently have.
I do check now and then to see who’s still following me within hours of when I followed them. I think that’s the most interesting of all.
ME Liz Strauss said
Fiddlee dee dee
I like that!
Ferg Devins said
interesting post Liz…I think the point about following that there is an initial interest in who you are or what your do or what your blog is about or what your web site is or even just a random comment that someone might have pointed you to that peaked some interest. The unfollow is less disocverable for me…I suppose the greatest is probably not meeting the expectation of why someone started following you in the first place…whether it was an expectation on content, something that was said in an origainl tweet, a difference of opinion or just too much non relevant to the individual. All said…very intriguing environment in which to engage…just lovin it…cheers @MolsonFerg
Ferg Devins said
oh boy…sorry…should have manually spell checked that one…cheers again
Jon said
I think that it is simply human nature. It is like a party. You may drift towards someone, chat for a while, be interested in what they are saying for 5 minutes, then just get distracted, get bored, and decide to move on. The thing about social networks, is that they are full of normal, real people. Sometimes people just drift away. That’s life innit?
siobhan bulfin said
I follow you because Chris Brogan who I’ve met and love recommended you. Ok I sound like a groupie, but I’m SOOO pleased I’m following you because many of my clients are schools and colleges wanting to use social media to market themselves-your area of expertise no?
But I am also at a loss as to why anyone would follow me! In NZ twitter has pretty low uptake-that will change. I’m amazed at how many random followers I have – all from the US – and I’m afraid (but not really that concerned) I’ll lose them as fast as I gain them as I don’t see my updates as particularly follow-worthy.
But in the social media desert where I currently reside, I am utterly dependent on those I follow – to remind me everyday that I’m not the only one who rejects the ‘spray and pray’ approach of traditional marketing, but rather yearns to engage the audience and get some dialogue going. Something that should be so natural to a nation of laid back, friendly, sharing people.
In the words of Bono:
I will follow!
Siobhan Bulfin
Wellington, New Zealand
LisaNewton said
I’m with you on this one, and I’m so glad you’re come clean.
It takes a lot of courage to let people know you’re being unfollowed, and you did it……..Congratulations……….:)
Sonia Simone said
I try to kind of unfocus my eyes when they fall on the follow/followed numbers. I get very pouty and hurt-feeling-athonish about people who unsubscribe to my email list, but for some reason don’t get that way about Twitter.
Sometimes I feel a tiny bit bad because I don’t automatically follow people who follow me, but Twitter just doesn’t work for me with too many folks in the stream.
Julie Roads said
Once I unfollowed someone because I thought they were lying about something that is very serious. They caused a huge hubbub, but I have training in their situation and I knew something was amiss. Every time after that – when I saw their avatar – I cringed. I had to stop following…and they came after me and demanded to know why!
It was intense…to say the least. I had a gut feeling about their honesty, so I couldn’t confront them, but just said, I thought we had a conflict of interest on some things and I needed to go another way.
On another note, when someone’s bio has a strong religious tone, I smile politely, say howdy and figure they’ll drop this Jewish lesbian who vears hard to the political left and swears sometimes just as soon as they’re ready. And that’ll be just fine (God bless ‘em).
Can’t ever imagine unfollowing you! Heck, I’m following you all the way to Chicago for SOBCon in May!!! Woo Hoo!
Candace Silvasy said
Thanks for your thoughts Liz and everyone. I enjoy Twitter as a way to make new connections, share thoughts and news on my business. I just subscribed to qwitter, but I’m considering stopping it after reading ya’ll’s comments. I was on the fence anyway about it.
I sometimes wonder if I need 2 accounts, one for business and one for personal tweets. Curious if that would help followers stick around or no.
Candace @artofthespa
Brad Rourke’s Blog » Explained: Why You Tweet So Much said
[...] It doesn’t bother me, but sometimes I like to know why. [...]
Joe Gelb said
I get many unfollows because I post links to very negative articles that expose things. Like I put up an article about the truth behind internet marketing and many so called marketers unfollowed. I personally try to cultivate a following of real people who may not have a big Twitter following but in reality have more social capital than people who spend all day online.
susan said
There has only been one person that I have stopped following and that is because the person would send 11 to 15 tweets at a time and did it every 3 hours on the dot from morning until 11 at night. It just got old, I recently turned him back on and now only a few a day so he must have had a lot of people unfollow him.
Meimei said
Hi Lizz!
Love this blog entry! You spoke your mind and that’s what’s important!Like Joe Gelb, I tend to tweet about what’s going on in this world and keep things real. I don’t have many followers but it doesn’t bother me at all. At least I know the people who are, are there because they really want to read what I tweet.
Meimei @Iluvarchaeology
ME Liz Strauss said
Hi Meimie!
Good to hear what you’re thinking! I’m not sure I know any other way that will work for me at this point in my life. Here’s a secret. Follow people you think look interesting and talk to them. Some of them will talk back to you.
You’re not a stranger anymore!
Alex Miller said
Yeh I just think it’s phases in people’s interests….they are really into something one minute and then they hop onto something else. Just my thought!
ME Liz Strauss said
Yeah, Alex,
I see that too! People have all sorts of reasons that make them click the “follow” button. Not of those reasons have something to do with us or what content we’re tweeting. heh heh
Amiterisu said
I think I loose followers due to megatweets….I guess try to tone down the rants I tend to get into.thanks for the info.