I’ve been thinking about how some folks think they are other-centered, really believe they are, when they don’t quite know how to be. It shows when they buy gifts for people they care about. The gifts don’t always work out.
I have an agreement with my closest friends about giving gifts. When we see something that so perfectly suits the other we buy it and it send it no matter when. When a birthday comes and we haven’t found it, then we don’t. We like it a lot just like that.
Giving with head and heart has a full-on view of the person who will receive it.
Why do we sometimes give gifts those we love without looking?
Companies do it. Parents do it. Husbands, and wives, and lovers do it. Children do it too. Though young children do it least.
I know you know what I mean. It’s that episode of the TV show Frazier in which they try to buy Frazier’s dad a new chair. He loves that chair duct tape and all. What sort of gift separates a guy from something he loves? Who is the gift really for?
It’s the cross pen I got one year for a gift from someone who knew me for over a decade. It was engraved with the wrong initials. It wasn’t the engraver’s mistake.
It’s the shirt, or the tie, or the dress that you would never wear — that so obviously doesn’t reflect who you are.
It’s sad, because often the receiver had no request, no need, and now sees a face filled with anticipation of a joyous response and must blend gratitude with honesty.
The art of giving a gift is accomplished so easily. I don’t understand how we miss this.
A friend said to me recently, “I knew exactly what to buy, because I know her, because I love her.” His gift for her was all about her.
That is the art of giving an unconditional gift.
We have so many gifts to share and so many ways to connect.
A gift can be a kind word, a smile, and hand on a shoulder that says, “I know you. I see you. I am aware you exist.” It’s something that shows I heard you, when you didn’t know I was listening.
How do you recognize a gift from someone who knows you?
–ME “Liz’ Strauss