A Guest Post by JennyDecki
First, I’d like to thank Liz for letting me write a guest post. Even though we’ve only talked a few times and met once, if she called me at 3am and needed a ride home after an awesome party I wasn’t even invited to I would jump in my car and drive her home faster than, well, as fast as I could throw on some clothes and get there. So even if we don’t have coffee every other Sunday, I consider her a friend and I’m just happier knowing she’s part of my world. (Cue cheesy Disney music – bonus points for you if you know what Disney movie that is).
What’s More Important: Intention or Perception?
Today’s question is one most people don’t consider. Everyone keeps talking about transparency and authenticity and what you should do and who you should be but then you shouldn’t be this and you shouldn’t be that and only The Bloggess can cuss because she’s really, really funny to a lot of people when she does.
There are so many things that you’re being told you should be when you blog that you may not even be sure what your message is or who you are yet, I mean, I turned 35 last week and I *just* figured out what I want to be when I grow up. (35 is an interesting number. My kids think I’m a dinosaur but my grandmother thinks my life hasn’t begun yet. I’m both too old AND too young depending on the demographic being surveyed.)
Take this video as my exhibit A. I’m entered into a competition. I need to win. I need you (yes you, not some other reader, YOU!) to watch this,
NOW go to JennyDecki’s Mamavation Application and vote for @Jennydecki — Just check that box in the sidebar — once every 24 hours from now until 7/12 at 8pm CST. If I had my way you’d set an alarm on your phone to remind you.
It’s really important to me. If you watched the video and you already know why…
Authenticity Can Be Frightening
Now, obviously I’m not making up the fact that I am, in fact, fat. But transparency is making a video showing I’m fat. My message is what’s authentic, because even if I hired a plus-sized model with a less-large but still-overweight body to deliver that message it would still be authentic.
But here’s the kicker. The absolute scariest part of making that video is my fear of what other people would think of it. Because it doesn’t matter if you’re being transparent and it doesn’t matter if your message is authentic. What matters once you hit “Submit” is what other people will think of your video when they see it.
Putting out a video that says, “I’m fat, I want to lose weight, I want to win this contest to have intimate relations over the phone with a nutritionist.” is frightening.
There’s the fear that some jerk is going to send the video to all his friends, then they’ll all come calling with horrific comments, calling me names I haven’t heard since Jr. High and laughing at me.
… and Tests Your Beliefs
Even better, I’m at the edges of a few fat acceptance communities and some people believe that attempting to lose weight for the sake of losing weight is wrong. I know some of those people and they’re really great people.
… and I believe in size acceptance too, because – skinny or fat – people deserve dignity and the right to be judged on what happens when they open their mouth and talk to you, not when they open their mouth and put food into it.
The Moral of the Story: Be as sure as you can be about what you believe before you share it with the world. Once you share it you can’t take it back.You just have to know your message is yours and you are allowed to have opinions, make decisions, and share those with others. Even if you disagree with your neighbor, or Liz, or me, or the guy who runs the local Chamber of Commerce.
So help me out. Because if I don’t win — yeah I tried and that’s great — but I’m really more of a “winning” kind of person.
How to Help
I was told before I was chosen as a finalist, “You’ll have to do something amazing to win. Your social media contacts won’t be enough.” Please, even if you don’t support me…even if you don’t support weight loss…even if you don’t give care at all. Help me prove that social media is enough – because social media IS amazing.
Step 1: Go vote for me (@jennydecki) at http://bit.ly/teamjen
Step 2: Post on Facebook and Tweet for me: Watch the video and vote @jennydecki every 24 hours from now ’till 7/12 at 8pmCST http://bit.ly/teamjen PLZ RT!
Step 3: Send an email, write a blog post, or use the social media or traditional media avenue of your choice and link to this post so they can help me, too.
Step 4: Have we met? No? Feel free to follow me on Twitter @jennydecki and I’ll follow you back. I’m sure it will be a pleasure to meet you.
Is Intention More Important than Perception?
Of course intention is most important because it’s the only one you have ANY control over. Perception? You have to let the chips fall where they may. If you write things with the intention of trying to create a particular perception and you fail, you can’t really stand up and say, “Oh, I want a do-over because that wasn’t really me.” Nope.
Better to be stuck with people knowing you for who you are than people not even knowing you and still thinking you’re a jackass. The best part is when you are yourself and you stand up for something you find support in the oddest places. Like here. Or here.
And when a fat woman figures out her passion is health and there’s a runner trapped under all that excess weight, what the hell other option does she have?
Need permission? You have mine. I give you permission to stand up for something. To stand in between a rock and a hard place and just stand there. Own it.
Thank you for your time, I appreciate it more than you know. Thanks again, Liz. Don’t lose my number, you may need it after a party someday!
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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