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June 14, 2007

What is He Talking About? Chris Cree on Friends

Chris Cree wrote this at 2:16 pm

“Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.”
–Peter Ustinov

I like people.

I mean as a general principle.

Oh, sure. There are some folks that I really would rather not be around. But mostly I like hanging out with other people.

In my book there is nothing better than hanging out with a couple people either over a good meal, or perhaps in a big cushy chair with some coffee and shooting the breeze. It doesn’t much matter to me whether we are solving the world’s problems - politics, religion, famine, disaster, war, WordPress vs. TypePad - or just simply making small talk, either way I’m for a good round of jawing most times.

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So when it comes down to it, I’m all about friends.

Friend Defined

Who is a friend? I mean there are friends and there are Friends, if you know what I mean.

There are folks in my life that I can call and have a chat with. And there are others that I could say, “Hey, I need a kidney” and they’d be right over.

It’s the difference between small ‘f’ friends and capital ‘F’ Friends.

A friend will get with you when it is convenient. A Friend will rearrange their schedule for you.

A friend will tell you what they think you want to hear. A Friend will tell you what they think you need to hear.

A friend will expect you to always be the one to call. A Friend will sometimes call you for no real reason other than to say, “Hi.”

A friend might expect some reciprocity when they do something nice. A Friend just is nice (and gets the reciprocity anyway).

You get the idea.

Longevity vs. Likability

And that brings up an interesting question.

Which are the friends that are most dear to us? The ones we like the most? Or the ones we’ve known the longest?

I think it takes a pretty big likability rating for a friend to stick around. Don’t you?

It is almost like they are two sides of the same coin.

I don’t know that it is an either or. Perhaps the ones we like the best are the ones who’ve been around the longest.

But ultimately I think the friends we like the best are, well, they’re the ones we like most. No matter how long they’ve been around.

Contrary to what Mr. Ustinov said, I don’t think an early arrival automatically equals the highest quality friend. Our lives ebb and flow. Different people are at times woven into our life tapestry. Some are there for the duration.

Others fade away over time.

I don’t thing there is necessarily a correlation. But that’s just the Way I C it.

–Chris Cree, SuccessCREEations.

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7 Comments to “What is He Talking About? Chris Cree on Friends”

  1. June 14th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
    Ms. Q said

    Chris - I agree with you. I don’t think that longevity makes a friend - it’s who we like the best. I have Friends I’ve known for over a decade (one from over TWO decades!) and Friends I’ve made within the last few years.

    It’s sad, but even Friends can fade. They may be dear to you but time, life changes, these can affect the friendship. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them, just that you may no longer have anything to continue the conversation. Yet they can call you after years and it’s as if the conversation never ended.

  2. June 14th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
    Chris Cree said

    Ms. Q, isn’t it interesting that some people are in our lives for different seasons?

    I have a couple buddies that I was very close to at different times. We can not even talk to each other for years. And yet when we do get together we pick up right where we left off.

  3. June 14th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
    GP said

    chris i totally agree with you about time knowing some one. I feel like I have more real friends since we moved to montana three years ago than in Cali. the previous 10 years. Friends regardess of time known are people that for me are “in the heart”

    And somewhat off on an angle, since Peter Ustinov has been a long fav of mine as Hercule Poirot… one of my all time favorite quotes of his from the 1978 movie Death on the Nile

    I know how you feel. We all feel like that at times. However, I must warn you, mademoiselle: Do not allow evil into your heart, it will make a home there.

    GP in Montana

  4. June 14th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
    Carma Dutra said

    Sometimes you inherit friends from your family. You will outgrow some friends, then you will have “Best” friends in high school and when the common thread that drew you or held you together is gone, you move on to the next friend.

    It is rare and special to have one friend a whole life time. That type of friend is a person whom you do not need to necessarily speak to regularly or often. All you have to do is pick up the phone and call.

    I have a lifetime friend and I have seen her twice in 30 years. We have a common bond and that is what holds friends together.

  5. June 15th, 2007 at 4:40 am
    Chris Cree said

    GP, Good quote! Interesting how some friends actually become closer with a little distance.

    Carma, I’m thinking the ideal might be to have a mix of both kinds of good friends. Those lifetime friends are a treasure.

  6. June 16th, 2007 at 1:01 am
    Miles said

    Great article I really enjoyed your take on friendship, found you via StumbleUpon, I am going to check out some of your other articles, feel free to check out my blog as well!

    It takes quite a lot for me to read a whole blog post, so your article definitely captured my attention, great job.

  7. June 16th, 2007 at 9:48 am
    Chris Cree said

    Heya Miles! Thanks for the compliment. Glad you enjoyed it. Liz has tons of great stuff here. Perfect for those just starting out blogging as well as those with much more experience.

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