Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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June 12, 2011

Who are your cheerleaders?

molly published this at 3:00 am

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.  ~Harriet Beecher Stowe

I’m not gonna lie, Dear Reader, this has been a weird week. Things that I thought would work out didn’t. People I had written off resurfaced. Opportunities that I didn’t know existed presented themselves. Close friends (and staunch twitter followers) will know that I refer to days like these as a trip on “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.”

Lots of sifting. Lots of slogging. Not a lot of sleeping.

I even admitted to being cranky. In public. Out loud. On the internetz (where everything is FORever). My life isn’t always sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Two things have sustained me: faith in myself and the faith of my friends.

Do you have a “cheerleader file?” I do. When my perspective is skewed by my doubt, I take the time to go through messages and mementos from people whose lives I have touched for the better.

These saved messages remind me that I matter. That what I do makes a difference. Those messages are from people who see the best in me and remind me of my better nature when I’ve sometimes forgotten. They reinforce the idea that I have a chance to become the person I’m capable of becoming, and isn’t that what we strive for in our quest for independence and autonomy?

Coming into the fruition of who we can be – our highest selves – is a scary and sacred journey. Thank goodness we don’t have to go it alone.

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement – and we will make the goal.  ~Jerome Fleishman

This is going to sound counter intuitive, but I’m going to ask you to shift the focus from yourself and pay attention to the troubles of people around you. When you go through the checkout line at the grocery store, pay attention to the gestures and facial expression of the person wearing the name tag across the counter. He or she may have $15 to last through the end of the week. She may be worried about a goof up she just made at work. He may have just heard that his mom was diagnosed with cancer…. or she may be working her way through school and still have to study when her shift ends.

Take a moment, look them square in the eye and compliment them. A sincere one. Do this for one solid day with everyone you meet: cabbies, bosses, peers, children. Then reflect on the way you feel when you go to sleep that night. Write it down or otherwise record it.

Try it again for the remainder of the week. Watch magical things happen in your life. This isn’t woo-woo karma voo doo. This is physics. Ripples are ripples, even if they are invisible. Just because I can’t see electricity doesn’t mean that I can’t see its effects.

Also, take a moment to thank your cheerleaders. They probably don’t expect thanks, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t appreciate being noticed. I’d be interested in hearing your responses to how this experiment worked for you. Please send an email to me at wwithdr1ve (at) gmail (dot) com with your results. When has someone’s faith in you changed your life for the better? Remember, we’re all in this together.

——-
Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Through this action, the individual applicant benefits, as does society as a whole. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive)

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Filed under Successful Blog | 9 Comments »


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9 Comments to “Who are your cheerleaders?”

  1. June 12th, 2011 at 3:32 am
    Susie Blackmon said

    Especially now…. we are all in this together. Thank you, Liz. You’ve given me something to strive for for several years now.

  2. June 12th, 2011 at 8:15 am
    Karen Putz said

    I have a “compliment” file and I go through that when I have moments of self-doubt or I’m down.

    I learned about a 7-day mental diet at a Yes to Success seminar and practiced that– very tough to do but the more you do it, the more aware you become of your thoughts and the more you think of others. Like you said, that ripple goes on!

  3. June 12th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
    Molly said

    Susie & Karen, thanks so much for taking the time to comment! The “diet” we feed our head is so important to the results we expect to achieve. Have a great week! :)

  4. June 12th, 2011 at 12:30 pm
    Thursday Bram said

    I’d never actually heard of a ‘cheerleader’ file — but it’s a fantastic idea! I write a lot online, on topics where people get pretty emotional and will start responding with no consideration for the fact that there are real people involved. It can be wearing, but I think that being able to go back and look at nice things people have said will make it easier to get through.

  5. June 13th, 2011 at 10:32 am
    molly said

    You make a great point, Thursday. It’s very easy to forget that there is a person on the other end of the keyboard when leaving comments/online conversations.

    Thanks for the reminder to be aware of our “digital ripples!”

  6. June 15th, 2011 at 5:26 pm
    Ian Kirk said

    We never realize the effects of our day to day action and how something so simple as a smile, or a complement can change the coarse of someones day, and event their life. The world is full of dream stealers and CAVE people (citizens against virtually everything). You might even be related to some of them, but isn’t it time to stop worrying about the eyes, ears, and words of other people, who don’t see the possibilities that each of us have inside us just itching to come out. Find your Cheerleaders and spend time with them, I know I do @KyliC as much as I can because they believe in me even when I don’t, and sometimes that is all I need to push through the next barrier.

  7. June 17th, 2011 at 11:44 am
    @mckra1g said

    Ian, I LOVE your term “CAVE” people! It’s great. I promise to give you credit when I use it from her on out. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. :)

  8. June 18th, 2011 at 8:02 pm
    Elena Patrice said

    Superior post! Your suggestion about “shifting your focus” is one of the best! I’m completely with you on this and practice it constantly. What a beautiful thing!! Thank you Molly, thank you!

    Much kindness,

    Elena

  9. June 20th, 2011 at 10:05 pm
    Molly said

    How very kind of you to say, Elena. Our focus is something over which we have 100% control. When we take just a moment from our days and shift our strength to someone else (by extending a kindness), both people are enriched. Thanks again for your gracious comment. :)

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