Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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November 26, 2009

Why People Pay Attention…

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 1:21 pm

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A Hospital with ADD

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In the ER
It was a long flight home from Amsterdam through Madrid to Chicago. I expected to be tired on arrival, but the day after I arrived something terrible was wrong. I felt like I was shot in my left side. The pain was constant, strong, and worse than childbirth. Five hours in, I knew I needed to find out what was going on.

My husband had H1N1. No way he could come with me. I went to the ER alone. In a short time they found me a place. set me up for a x-ray and a CT scan. A friend caught up with me via text and came to sit by me for hours while I waited. My cell phone didn’t work so I couldn’t call home.

My mouth was dry, too dry to talk. They gave me ice chips when they remembered. They never gave me a way to call for more. On the way back from the x-ray I asked for more ice or water. An hour later, I was still without.

When the tests were over, they said I had a mass in my lungs (pneumonia), a blood infection (ecoli), and kidney stones. Maybe and hour later or so, they said were going to admit me. My friend went home.

After being alone for a long while, I sent a note to the ER desk asking someone to call my husband or my son before they admitted me to tell them what was going on. The Dr. in charge of ER that night pronounced that he didn’t have time to make such a call. He spoke loud enough for me to hear him, but couldn’t walk the ten steps over to tell me himself.

I’d now been gone from home almost 6 hours. My husband had no idea what was happening with me. By then what the doctor had told me was a faint memory. I wasn’t able to answer questions about it. The pain was still there despite the pain meds they’d given me.

In the Room
The first doctors I saw were residents. They didn’t introduce themselves as such they just started asking questions about what medications I take. One took notes and took the name of my pharmacy wrote both in my chart

She told me to keep taking those meds.

I asked three times to be sure that was what she wanted, explaining that I have gone as long as week with out those meds and she said keep taking them.

Apparently this information was not important enough for other doctors to read.

This proved a serious mistake when they put me out for the procedure to remove the kidney stone. Because my meds interacted with the meds they gave me for procedure.

My oxygen level dropped deadly low — well below 80, I heard as low as 60 — causing me twice to have seizures on the table while they were getting me ready to go for removal of the stone.

I didn’t die, but I could have.

Back in my room I was on oxygen and a monitor now. Some help that monitor was. If I moved a certain way, the alarm on the monitor would show zero and sound an alarm. No one would come. We timed it once at 20 minutes without a response. Another friend who was there every day to watch over me knew how to turn off the noise.

I asked the charge nurse why bother with a machine if they weren’t going to come. The answer was a weak smile, a look away with her eyes, and a blanket apology.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. You are not.”

I can’t help but wonder what was more distracting or important than reading the charts and answering alarms?

What was more worth their attention?

Some people don’t pay attention even when it’s their job.

A Community Who Paid Attention

I was released after 8 days. The surgeon who performed the procedure hadn’t been to check that all was well with the stent he’d left in. I’d not seen him since 5 days before. I went home with about half as much pain as when I had arrived.

Then something beautiful, embarrassing, and unexpected happened. People started to tell my simple story of how hospital stay had knocked me low. They shared it on their blog and on Twitter and in messages to me that are unforgettable. Thank you, Deb Ng, Lucretia Pruitt, and Jenn Fowler for thinking of me. Thank you everyone who chipped in. And thank you to Kathryn and everyone who guest posted for all of the work you did keeping my blog going on.

People pay attention because they care.

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I am grateful this Thanksgiving for every second of your attention.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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37 Comments to “Why People Pay Attention…”

  1. November 26th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
    Sophie J said

    Hey,

    Last year I had a simular experience in an emergency room. I was so angry the way I had been treated that I wrote a complaint to the hospital. I wrote down what happend, not expecting to ever hear anything back. After two days I received an e-mail back saying they were investigating the incident. A week later a received a second e-mail saying that they found too that the docter and nurses had made a mistake. Also according to the e-mail they were called to the direction of the hospital to explain themselves. If I wanted I could make an apointment for a personal apology AND I didn’t have to pay the bill.

    I didn’t want to see that docter ever again so I politely said no thanks for the personal apology.

    It’s because people don’t write complaint letters that this kind of situations are still happening.

    You pay for this service. The should help you properly and with care.

    I hope you will feel beter soon!

    Greets,
    sophie

  2. November 26th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
    Joseph U said

    That is a very harrowing story and I am sorry you had to go through that.

    However, as a 22-year-old with ADHD I don’t like the title of this piece as it use ADD in as pejorative which ads to the stigma.

    It seems like a silly complaint I know.

  3. November 26th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
    Glenda Watson Hyatt said

    Liz, aren’t hospitals damn scary places? And, for places that should be overflowing with caring and empathic people, hospitals are least caring places to be! And, the mistakes that get made - oh, don’t get me started!

    But, having our own communities that we have built with people we love and who love us is what get us through.

    Liz, I’m glad (and relieved!) you pulled through and hope you are well on your way to be healthy.

    I’m thankful to be part of your community! I’m thankful for you.

  4. November 26th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
    Todd Smith said

    I’m you’re doing ok. I have been missing you on this blog for a while… and thought you had moved on to better things or something.

    Sorry you had such an experience in the hospital. I’m sending lots of love and support your way.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. November 26th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
    Lorelle said

    I was so frustrated trying to get ahold of you during those first days. I so wish I’d jumped the first plane out of Holland to Chicago, but I’m glad Amy was there and others stepped up to the plate.

    You are so right. We need to remember that we HAVE to care, no matter what it is that we do, but especially if our job means caring. Good on you for taking them to task and here’s to you getting better and stronger every day! We’re counting on you to be the fantastic you that you are, in every way!

    Loves and hugs!

  6. November 26th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
    Judi said

    My friend Judy was in the hospital after breaking 7 bones in her foot/leg last Thursday. We got out last night. I have to say, our doctors were nearly as invisible but kind when we saw them. The nurses were clearly understaffed, also kind, and also ignored all warning beeps from the rooms. Most patients or visitors learn to mitigate the noise instead of learning about the problem. This is hardly participatory medicine.

    This is a great day for healing. Our two stories are great beacons of gratitude for the people who care. We are part of social networks in the hopes of seeing and being seen, of finding our tribe, with their love and acceptance. Not all places or people are about that, though hospitals clearly should be.

    Sending hugs and healing energy.

  7. November 26th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
    --Deb said

    Oh, Liz, what a nightmare. I’m so grateful that you made it through to the way of recovery, and so glad on your behalf for the community that YOU help lead that came through for you. One more thing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

  8. November 26th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
    Robyn McMaster said

    Liz, I am thankful you have friends nearby who came to sit by your side through this ordeal. Your words take me there and help me to see it clearly. Amazing how the focus was more on going by the rules, rather than truly interacting with a patient.

    More than anything, I am thankful you are okay and I hope over time, you’re renewed.

  9. November 26th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Sophie!
    I fully intend to write and to add further details, incidents, and names that I did not include in this post. Thank you for sharing your story here.

    You’re not a stranger anymore.

  10. November 26th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi!
    I have worked with many brilliant young minds who are truly ADHD and I understand why my use of ADD here bothers you. Their attention deficit was not a brain process difference. It was simply a lack of investment. My apologies for making it sound as if the two are related in any way.

  11. November 26th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Glenda!
    I learned a lot about how losing trust with our caretakers changed me. I had to get out because I could not stand who I felt I had to be to protect myself.

    I’m feeling very lucky for all of the truly generous caring people in my life.

  12. November 26th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Todd!
    You’ve not seen the last of me yet. That much is for sure!

  13. November 26th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Oh Lorelle!
    How nice of you. What more could another person have done, but make thing bigger and harder all around?

    You’re so right about how we need to hold onto our compassion and humanity in all we do.

  14. November 26th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Judi
    I am so sorry you and your friend even tasted a bit of what I knew. It’s disheartening to anyone who is trying to get well.

    Thank you for sharing your experience here. Sometime just knowing we’re not alone is good for us.

  15. November 26th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Deb,
    thank you for every word of your comment. Having friends like you has made it all easier than you know.

  16. November 26th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Robyn,
    it’s said how fear brings about rules and how rules crush leadership. What I saw were people who saw cases not humans in beds. I feel sorry for their families.

  17. November 26th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
    Ellen Weber said

    Liz, I am in utter shock!How could this have happened to you when you were most in need of health-care.

    Sadly, the politicians sit idle or bicker for personal gain, while our country is fading fast. We’re all poorer because of this story and more like it! It’s really of story of lost compassion, and unending greed for money. Self serving leaders from a system that takes people down and abuses humanity.

    It saddens me to this horror health disaster happened to such a precious and caring leader and friend. It alarms me because I am paying through the teeth for a cheapened health care policy which keeps skyrocketing while medical service plummets to horrific lows.

    Just got a notice yesterday — that the insurance company plans to grab another 30% higher fees from me, while political leaders dicker and nit pick. Insurance heads too see their grab time - and it has little to do with healing of anybody.

    May this story circulate until one wise leader, or a caring doctor sees it and helps us to turn it back into the care we claim health should carry for those we love most.

    I am sorry they caught you in their horror story - and so grateful that you are well again! May God bless you and may God help this county recover its sense of human well being!

    Please let us at the MITA Brain Center know what we can do to help you regain your strength.

  18. November 26th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
    Lillie Ammann said

    Liz,

    I’m so sorry you went through this but so happy you’re recovering.

    My husband and I have both had similar experiences in hospitals, and we’ve both had wonderful experiences with caring, compassionate caregivers.

    The bad experiences have been with different hospitals in one hospital system, and the good experiences have been with different hospitals in another hospital system. Even when we have filed complaints with the “bad” system, we got unsatisfactory responses.

    Now we know which hospitals to go to, but most of the time patients don’t have that information. And we shouldn’t have to learn by trial and error.

  19. November 27th, 2009 at 3:51 am
    OweEng2 said

    Hi Liz, First of all it’s a great post. I’m really glad you’re recovering now. Honestly I was shocked to hear what had happened to you, considering the state you were in. Good thing you’re friends were there to stay with you.

    Back here in my country, Hospital services are the worst especially if they know you don’t have money to pay for very expensive hospital bills. They’ll ignore you and just make you wait in line till their hands aren’t full anymore with their rich and paying patients.

  20. November 27th, 2009 at 10:45 am
    Christa M. Miller said

    Liz, I am speechless. Unfortunately my mother had a similar experience following surgery, and contracted MRSA. It strikes me that hospitals continuously try to make their workers more *efficient* but keep missing the mark on making them more *human*. The public service fear of becoming “too attached” is valid, but good care is not about attachment; it’s about helping people help themselves. Hospital environments and workers do not facilitate that.

    I am so thankful that you are OK today. Take care.

  21. November 27th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
    Tim Bursch said

    Liz,
    Wow. It sounds like a really crappy situation. I’m shocked and disappointed at the treatment. Sorry you had to endure this.

    My guess is that your experience is not isolated. How many more people are overlooked in a vulnerable time? We need an attention revolution!

    I am really glad you are on the mend. We are cheering for you Liz!
    : )
    Tim

  22. November 27th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
    Deb Ng said

    I’m grateful that you’re still here and I’m still able to care about you. I’m grateful I’m still able to read and comment at your blog.

    I may not be the friend who calls every day or sends newsy emails every week, but I’ll always be the friend who is there for you when you need me, even if you didn’t ask.

  23. November 27th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
    Mark Dykeman said

    Liz, what a horrifying yet somehow uplifting story. Hopefully you’re on the mend now.

  24. November 28th, 2009 at 3:31 am
    NEENZ said

    I care very much about the head S.O.B. :)

  25. November 28th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
    Kathryn said

    Happy to see you’re back. Take care xo

  26. November 28th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Christa,
    A distance between patients and caregivers is important, but simple attention is needed to develop a feeling of trust and safety. How can we believe what people say to us is in our best interest when they don’t seem to care about the simple things that are part of their every day work?

    It’s sad really.

  27. November 28th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Tim,
    Yeah, how many people who don’t understand even as much as I do? How did we get here? It’s unbelievable.

    Thank you for being here for me. :)

  28. November 28th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Deb,
    You are the best kind of friend. I so value you. Thank you for all you do for everyone. :)

  29. November 28th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Thank you, Mark, for hearing all that I was trying to say. Thank you for the friend you are. :)

  30. November 28th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    You are very important to me, NEENZ.
    There is no other way to say that. :)

  31. November 28th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Thank you, Kathryn, for all you did to keep this blog going.
    You’re a genuine friend and a true inspiration. :)

  32. December 1st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
    John D Brown said

    Wow, Liz! Putting your personal trauma on your blog for us to read may have a similar component to your physical and emotional healing as the neural growth mentioned by Robyn in her blog.

    In her book The Real Wealth of Nations, Riane Eisler points in a direction that might turn this disastrous health care juggernaut around. We really must start measuring what really matters and give value to being caring humans. We just might get what we want then.

    It is so good to know you came through that experience with a strong heart. I look forward to hearing how you will choose to frame this experience in ways that build on the caring economy we all hope for.

  33. December 2nd, 2009 at 12:06 am
    Delaney Kirk said

    What a horrible experience, Liz. I knew you had been in the hospital but had no idea. I’m glad you’re doing better! Get well soon.

  34. December 2nd, 2009 at 9:01 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi John,
    Thank you. I’m not sure where this experience has left me. I’m tired and wondering about the people who work there, wishing I could wake them from their state of loss. They could be bringing so much value with a smile and a care that could be healing.

  35. December 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Delaney,
    Thank you for stopping by to say such nice things. I’m getting my spark back and I’m going to make an even bigger difference now!

  36. December 5th, 2009 at 10:27 am
    Patrick said

    Just reading this now! So sorry to hear about this story. I can only imagine how awful it was. But, glad that you made it out! The donation drive and Deb’s efforts behind it, were really amazing.

    I look forward to seeing you somewhere soon!

    Patrick

  37. December 5th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Patrick,
    Thank you for taking time to say something. It’s taking longer than I might hope to get my fire back. But it’s coming and I’m grateful to have so much support and help from folks like you!

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