Why you should just give up

Not gonna lie – a teeny portion of my Ego flinched a little, just typing the title to this post. The hesitation is a sign to me that I’m not completely as untethered from this world as I would like to be, but awareness of my hesitation is leagues ahead of where I’ve been.

As I’ve admitted in previous posts, I’m a reforming Control Freak and time was the idea of surrendering anything to anyone was repugnant to me and an insult to my own competence. With poet William Ernest Henley’s voice echoing in my head, I, and I alone was the captain of my soul.

When you figure in the fact that the majority of my professional life is in sales and marketing, I’ve got so many “in it win it” and “if it’s to be it’s up to me” rah rah tapes running in my head, it’s a wonder I still have friends. :) I’m Stuart Smalley on steroids.

Here’s the kicker. You can be all of those things, as long as you understand the difference between taking ownership of your actions and demanding a specific, pre-ordained outcome that happens as a result of them.

“A wise unselfishness is not a surrender of yourself to the wishes of anyone, but only to the best discoverable course of action.” ~ David Seabury

You absolutely owe it to yourself to identify, harvest, employ and in all other ways nurture your own development. The surrender portion comes when you realize the extent of your part of the equation and the beginning of The Other.

Sometimes the Other is a person. Or it can be an entity, an organization, a process. But you have to trust that you have done the work. Then surrender the outcome.

“I can tell you that it takes great strength to surrender. You have to know that you are not going to collapse. Instead, you are going to open to a power that you don’t even know, and it is going to come to meet you. In the process of healing, this is one of the huge things that I have discovered. People recognized the energy coming to meet them. When they opened to another energy, a love, a divine love, came through to meet them. That is what is known as grace. We all sing about amazing grace. It is a gift.” ~  Marion Woodman

We are smart. Each of us. We really are. But did you know that there are a few billion of us walking the planet? So much of our reality is predicated upon our awareness of our immediate surroundings and the resultant combinations of those variables. However, there are billions upon billions of iterations of possibilities that exist outside our awareness. Just because we don’t know of something’s existence doesn’t mean that it doesn’t. Exist, that is.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” ~ Unknown

This reminds me again of Melissa Pierce and her film Life in Perpetual Beta. I’m not sure why people have the perception that stasis is the goal. Logic would dictate that every day of our existence brings new experiences, new individuals and new perspectives. Based purely on a mathematical sensibility, it would be as if each day you were handed two different numbers and expect to come up with the same total each day, regardless of the integers you receive. How can you expect to always arrive at “six,” when on Monday you were given 5+1 and on Tuesday, 6+9? Can’t happen, even using high math.

We are always evolving, always surrendering our current reality for another. By embracing the paradox of surrendering in order to gain, we are able to move forward. The Borg were right: “Resistance is futile.” Life goes on and stagnation leads to atrophy and death in both a figurative and literal sense.

So…why give up? Because you have so much to get.


Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Through this action, the individual applicant benefits, as does society as a whole. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive Foundation) or “Like” them on facebook.



  1. says

    An enlightening read.

    As the new year arrives, I have been pondering upon my being stubborn, in my opinions, in my attitude. Such has brought me so much obstacles and failures.

    I have been wondering how I will change that …for the better of course..

    This post did showed me some light…


    …because I have so much to get.”

    Thanks for this post Molly.

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