Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

Thinking, writing, business ideas … You’re only a stranger once.

January 24, 2008

Wishing to Be Someone Else . . .

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:57 am

I've been thinking . . .

about this part of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29.

. . .
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him with friends posess’d
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope
With what I most enjoy contented least.
. . .

A young man told me about his dream for a business. Then he told me why it wouldn’t happen. I said, “Tell me about the problems that are in your way.”

He did.

I offered a solution to the biggest one.

He argued for the problem — explaining why no solution could solve it. In the course of the argument, he pointed to others who were already living his dream. I reminded him that they were not offering nearly as much as he was. Still he kept moving the conversation away from his value to what and where others had “more” to offer. Everyone else was worth more.

A mere two weeks ago, the young man was filled with the potential of the new year. He was boundless power. Now he compared himself to everyone and found them all higher, bigger, better. I said that if he was determined to be lacking, trying to be someone else was a great way to get there.

Even Shakespeare had his moments of thinking he didn’t measure up. I have to think we all do. But Shakespeare held onto his dream, and we know his name.

No rule says only certain folks get to make their dreams come true.

Why do we wish to be someone else? Do we think another life would be easier?

Liz's Signature




Filed under Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog |




C'mon. Let's talk!

21 Comments to “Wishing to Be Someone Else . . .”

  1. January 24th, 2008 at 8:10 am
    Kelly said

    Liz, those are really good questions.

    I think we all have a little “grass is greener” in us. I think it stems from fear. Fear of risk, fear of not succeeding, fear of finding out that we are not as wonderful as we think we are. It’s far easier to sit and think that life would be sooo much better if only…

  2. January 24th, 2008 at 8:14 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Kelly,
    Yeah, it’s kind of sad really. Everyone seems to be so shy of thinking they’re too wonderful that they can’t see how truly wonderful they really are. :)

  3. January 24th, 2008 at 9:09 am
    Rick Mahn said

    Wonderful post Liz. I believe you’re correct about everyone thinking this. Everyone has moments of self-doubt, and a touch of envy at times. I think Kelly really identified it in the fear of risk and failing. I also think that there is a touch of fear about actually succeeding too!

    Regards,
    Rick

  4. January 24th, 2008 at 9:19 am
    Mike DeWitt said

    Liz,

    I really like what Kelly said, and agree completely. It’s fear of having to go through a metamorphosis without knowing for sure that we’ll end up a beautiful butterfly…even if all the other caterpillars did!

    Mike

  5. January 24th, 2008 at 9:45 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Rick!
    Fear of failing, fear of “not being good enough,” fear of “pride,” we sure walk around as fearful beings. :)

    I agree that we also fear who we might become if we succeed. :)

  6. January 24th, 2008 at 9:48 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hiya, Mike!
    Yeah, I agree that Kelly has brought the crux to her comments. But I also like that you point out that we have to change to become the more-actualized we want to be.

    Yea! for the metaphor. :)

  7. January 24th, 2008 at 9:58 am
    Mike DeWitt said

    Liz,

    I must admit that I heard the metaphor from Martha Beck, but she never asked the question: “How many caterpillars would go through the process if they were sentient?” That’s the real irony. They can do it easily because they DON’T think about it. We have the same opportunity to transform ourselves - that dramatically - but we hold ourselves back with a myriad of fears. D’oh! ;-)

    Mike

  8. January 24th, 2008 at 11:09 am
    Anthony Lawrence said

    It’s funny how we overestimate others sometimes.

    If you are of average height or even a little taller, try this experiment next time you are in a crowd: pick out someone you think is a little taller than you are. Now move close enough that you can actually see where your eyes meet their face.. you might often find that you are staring at their forehead: you are the one who is actually taller.

    I’m a very confident person, but even I will get fooled by this sometimes. Now that I’ve done the experiment so many times, I’m better at it, but sometimes I still get it wrong..

  9. January 24th, 2008 at 11:17 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Mike,
    Yeah, that’s the irony, because we KNOW what the other side of the process has to offer. :)

  10. January 24th, 2008 at 11:21 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Anthony!
    What a great test to show up our bias toward thinking ourselves smaller. I can’t wait to try it. :)

  11. January 24th, 2008 at 11:31 am
    Anthony Lawrence said

    Re: height test

    I wonder if overconfident people misjudge the other way and if the more stable among us are more accurate..

    Years ago I had a business where my partner was a few inches taller than I.. and our accountant was taller still.. I felt like a little kid when we’d get together to talk and were not sitting down.. :-)

  12. January 24th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
    Keren Dagan said

    Hi Liz,

    Thanks for this post. I think that it is very important as a parent not to pass it on to our kids. It is OK to be inspired by great things that other people do yet not forgeting that they are still human (and what that that means).

    Keren

  13. January 24th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Anthony,
    Studies say that if you take a person who is usually tallest and put him or her in a room in which everyone else is taller. The person in question will immediately revert to childlike behaviors. . . . So your thinking that it felt that way was apparently natural. :)

  14. January 24th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
    Anthony Lawrence said

    This may sound funny, but I also had exactly the opposite experience when my wife and I went to a Spanish dance club one night a few years ago. I was by far the tallest man in the room and much more muscular than most too.. and yet, because of the strong Latin machismo, I have never felt less “manly” in my life.. it was really quite intimidating and I was at least somewhat uncomfortable most of the evening.

  15. January 24th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Anthony,
    I guess it doesn’t work in every culture. wow! That’s so interesting. The more I know you . . . :)

  16. January 24th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
    SunnySchlenger said

    I’m really enjoying this conversation about height! Especially since I have no real perspective. I’m just under 5′ feet, so everyone is always taller than me. I’ve always been short, so it’s a part of my persona. Now I only notice really tall people like basketball players.

  17. January 24th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Sunny,
    I’m just a hair under 6 feet tall. I remember distinctly when I realized that my son was going to be taller than I was. I found it surprising that I was surprised. Then I realized that not so many people are taller than I am. . . . That’s when I started wondering what it would be like.

    Funny it’s not any different at all. :)

  18. January 24th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
    Edrei said

    We envy that which we desire and don’t have. So it’s easier to to wish you were someone who’s already there than to work hard to reach the same level as them. Not as much as fear, but rather complacency of being comfortable where we are.

    It’s only those with ambition or with absolutely nothing to lose that seem to strive to change, emulate and become parts they desire in people.

    I used to do that before, but not anymore. I wouldn’t be anyone else but myself. Sure I envy other people, but that just gives me more than enough reason to work towards what I need or want.

  19. January 24th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Keren!
    So sorry you had to wait.
    I agree that it’s easy enough to pass on our worries to our children. We all wonder what we might be if only . . . our kids hear us don’t they?

    Holding their dreams as valuable is a good thing we can do for them. Holding them up to their dreams and saying “go for it!” is even better. :)

    Keren, you’re not a stranger anymore.

  20. January 24th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
    Keren Dagan said

    No problem Liz and thank you for the warm welcome.

    Holding their dreams as valuable is a good thing we can do for them. Holding them up to their dreams and saying “go for it!” is even better. :)

    This is just beautiful, wow!

    I also liked your previous post. I forgot how cool David Bowie was:) I can’t remember when I last saw this video clip.

    Keren

  21. January 24th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Keren!
    Yeah, my son was here this weekend. It was fun seeing him starting to live out his dreams. What an amazing thing a lifetime is . . . if we could only embrace what we knew when were born. :)

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

C'mon Let's Talk!