Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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August 6, 2010

Worse than Pick Your Brainers: Meet the Network Rustling Cowboy

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 7:00 am

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Recently two folks I admire — Jason Falls and Gini Dietrich — have written some great thoughts on people who over stress a professional relationship by asking if they might “pick your brain.” If you’re a service professional — doctor, lawyer, social media practitioner — and you’re having this problem, follow those links; read the posts and the comments that they carry.

It’s those two posts that inspired this one.

Have a seat by the campfire and I’ll tell you a story of the cowboys who make the “pick your brain” folks look almost harmless — as if they’re merely apprentices to the people who write the bad PR bitches that keep showing up in our email inboxes. After all, so many of those “pick your brain” folks don’t realize they’re looking to learn at the expense of another.

The cowboys I’m thinking of are practiced at what they do.

Whoa Cowboy! We See You Trying to Rustle Our Netwworks?

Early this year, a cowboy rode into town. he took out his LinkedIn account, his email lists, and his telephone. He contacted people he never met immediately asking … asking everyone the same set of questions in about the same way and causing the same uncomfortable feeling in the people he contacted.

Cowboy’s First Phone Call

So the cowboy was efficient. He would bother to show much interest in the people he called and in fact, never started by asking them to participate in the event he was planning. When he called me, I let him talk for quite, asking questions about his event and how it worked and what he was looking for …

This is what the cowboy wanted from me.

I listened for about a half hour to be sure that he didn’t know a thing about me … other than I had a network in Chicago that might be worth tapping into.

I listened long enough to be sure that he never offered anything in return for what he was asking. Then I told him that I thought it was curious that he would be asking for my advice on his event and for access my network, but not being the least interested in who we are or how to return the value.

I called of few of my friends around the city and their stories were even more blatant than my own. I figure that might be because my friends are much nicer in situations like this than I am.

This cowboy wanted to rustle my network and we weren’t supposed to notice?

To Network Rustlers Everywhere

So, to cowboys out there everywhere, I’d like to say something clearly.

cattle_via_howlingforjustice


Take this word from me …

The people in my network are people not cattle.
I value them. I trust them.
I hold their trust as priceless.
I don’t and won’t ever sell them or their time for your money or your promise of attention.
I might occasionally be stupid enough give away my expertise,
but don’t try stealing my friends’ time or expertise

I’ll call you on it.
If you’re using me to get to them, I know you’ll just use them too.

Compared to their trust, whatever you need is irrelevant.

So get along now little doggie. We don’t cotton to folks who rustle networks around here. Build your own network. Do your own homework. Make your own relationships in ways that build community.

I had such fun writing this.

Have you had experience with network rustling cowboys?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
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Filed under Community, Strategy, Successful Blog | 11 Comments »




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11 Comments to “Worse than Pick Your Brainers: Meet the Network Rustling Cowboy”

  1. August 6th, 2010 at 9:17 am
    Kim Heintz said

    Wow. If this ever happens to me, I will direct the person to this post.

  2. August 6th, 2010 at 10:08 am
    Ed Tennant said

    Hahahahaha. Your Freudian slip is showing, “the bad PR bitches” sounds like a new motorcycle gang or something.

    Great story too!

  3. August 6th, 2010 at 10:10 am
    Worse than Pick Your Brainers: Meet the Network Rustling Cowboy | Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Kim Heintz said

    [...] via Worse than Pick Your Brainers: Meet the Network Rustling Cowboy | Liz Strauss at Successful Blog. [...]

  4. August 6th, 2010 at 10:42 am
    Scott McIntyre said

    I like your analogy of the ‘relationship rustler’, Liz.

    It’s important to filter anyone who wants to access your contacts and network- both to check what positives they might bring as well as any negative impact they’ll have.

    Our networks trust us to act as ‘gatekeepers’ for their attention.

    Let a rogue salesman into their midst – one who’s used you in the first place – and the trust you have is slowly eroded.

    On the other hand, give access to an ultra-useful 3rd party and your network truly benefits. Everyone wins.

    Keep roundin’ up them rustlers!!

  5. August 6th, 2010 at 10:45 am
    Jospeh Doughty said

    Sounds like the virtual version of the guy who shows up at a networking luncheon with an ill fitting suit pitching his business and ignoring anything you have to say. I think the urban term for your cowboy is new media d-bag. : ))

    Thanks for the post it made me laugh.

  6. August 6th, 2010 at 10:58 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Kim,
    I just had that thought. I’m going to bookmark this post for myself so that I can send it the next guy!

    Great to save time!! :)

  7. August 6th, 2010 at 11:01 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Ed!
    I think that “Freudian slip” should stay that way … don’t you? :)
    It kind of fits the tone of the entire story.

    Thanks for taking time to leave a comment! :)

  8. August 6th, 2010 at 11:06 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Scott!
    I love how your comments keep contributing to this blog. The points you make about protecting our networks are really so important. We take care of what we value. You said that so well!

  9. August 6th, 2010 at 11:07 am
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Joseph,
    This guy goes one step further … he doesn’t pitch you for you or your value. He looks right through you to reach your customers, your clients, or your contacts. He’s even lower than the guy you’re describing. :)

  10. August 8th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
    Gini Dietrich said

    I think that same cowboy called me, too! And, while we’re on the topic, can we please talk about how “I’d like to add you to my professional network” is not the right way to invite me to LinkedIn?

  11. August 9th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Gini!
    You’re right! He did call you!

    Liz

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