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19 Comments to “Would You Help Me Answer this Man Who Has a Dream?”

1. October 1st, 2008 at 7:27 am
   francine hardaway said

   Very difficult to judge whether you should give up on a dream when you don’t tell us in detail what it is and how you intend to achieve it. I think I need to see some sort of business case (who needs this and why, and who pays for it and why) for following this dream. This is the classic marketing issue: does anyone NEED this, or is it just your dream?

   Second, I’m totally down with what Liz has said. Ask for help. You won’t get it if you don’t ask. Most people assume you are okay until you say you are not. That allows your friends and supporters to step forward.

2. October 1st, 2008 at 7:51 am
   Karin H. said

   Pama, I had a dream once - and am fulfilling it now. But this only happened/happens because I told someone of my dreams, plans, ideas, ideals. This person listened, advised and added to it. But most of all because this person believed in me and my dreams - when I told him about it.

   So, please elaborate your plans, dreams, ideas somewhere where people will read, listen and help. This will not cost the earth and the moon

   Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

3. October 1st, 2008 at 8:06 am
   Ulla Hennig said

   Pama,
   I can only support what Francine and Karin wrote - ask for help, talk about your dream to people you trust in. I also had some dreams, which I thought could never come true, but talking to people helped me to get things clearer, to learn what these dreams really were, and which steps I could take to make them real. “no man is an island”!

4. October 1st, 2008 at 8:30 am
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Thanks, Francine,
   Does anyone need this? That’s so important, especially now when jobs are shrinking and money is becoming harder to find.

   What you say about people assuming that we’re okay unless we tell them otherwise is something I hadn’t really thought mention, but it’s so true.

5. October 1st, 2008 at 8:39 am
   Richard Reeve said

   #5 determine your commitment!
   I love seeing these two words tied in this way here. I’ll only add:

   down to the very marrow of your bones…

6. October 1st, 2008 at 8:44 am
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Hi Karin,
   I think that’s true for me too. Long before my dream job, I was talking about what I wanted to do and what I saw myself doing when I got to being at that point. Even what I’m doing now is partly because of what I made a point of letting people know was my plan to be doing and my desire to become.

   One thing I love most about the blogosphere is that we’re constantly asking each other “How can I help you?”

7. October 1st, 2008 at 8:51 am
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Thanks Ulla!
   Perspective helps us see when we’re not on the right path. I know my friends have me immeasurably when I thought I was dead on, but I was leaving out parts of who I am.

8. October 1st, 2008 at 8:52 am
   ME Liz Strauss said

   Ah Richard, Yeah.
   Where no one can sway what you know is your own.

9. October 1st, 2008 at 9:09 am
   Ms. Terry Lee said

   I read the man’s comments and I could hear the excitement about the dream, struggles along the way and sadness of almost giving up. As I read, I thought of Dr. Martin Luther King’s Jr. speech…”I have a Dream”. Needless to say, don’t give up on your dream because you never know who you may impact. I too have my own dream and everyday, I wonder…will this be a reality? How can I make a difference in the life of someone else by what I’m attempting to do? Having said that, I think the lesson that you’re being taught is “Asking for help”. It’s one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn and it’s still a work-in-progress. There’s no shame in asking for help…you may find that when others join your parade, your task will not seem as daunting…you will find support when needed…you may even find a quicker way to see your dream become a reality. Having multiple “eyes” attack a problem usually results in fixing overlooked flaws and moving forward quickly to the desired result.

   Don’t give up…seek advice…after all, isn’t that the reason we network with others, even if it’s virtually? Hopefully we help others reach their goals, dreams & aspirations. (Hear the crowd cheer you on…..go go go!!!)

   Terry aka QueenGeek

10. October 1st, 2008 at 11:45 am
    emdoozie | Michael said

    I would say definitely to stay in action mode. If your over plan, you can plan yourself right out of your dream. http://www.doozieup.com/2008/06/dont-plan-yourself-out-of-a-dream/ Stay in action, and for every failure learn from it and add it to your armer for the next round. I would also say to make sure you enjoy the process of going after your dream. If it’s like pulling teeth for you to work on it, maybe it really isn’t what you want. Don’t put an age limit on your dreams. “You are what you want”, and there is no reason you can’t have it. It takes great belief in yourself, and a great determination to make it. Be positive and always look for why “it can work” as apposed to the other negative outlook.

    You haven’t failed, you have just found a bunch of avenues that don’t work. The longer you go, the more you’re narrowing down your search to that “Sweet Spot”, where your dream is going to take off! If you quit before you hit that sweet spot, you will never know! Do what feels good, follow your feelings, and never give up!

    doozieUp your life! You deserve it!
    http://doozieUp.com

11. October 1st, 2008 at 12:27 pm
    Amy Derby said

    Pama,

    Like the others, I would like to know what your dream is.

    Maybe I’m wrong (happens a lot) but I see things like this. There are many kinds of dreams. Ones we feel like we have to achieve to keep living in our own skins, and ones we want to do to make money. If we can combine the first into the second, all the better.

    Personal example to attempt to illustrate my point, because my thoughts don’t always make it into the right words: I’m a writer and would be writing whether or not I got paid for it. I dreamed of being a writer from a young age. I’ve found a way to write and get paid for it while still taking time to pursue my personal writing dreams — the ones no one would ever pay me for. I’ve had life take things away from me many times, and I’ve had many times of having to start over, but I kept at it because my dream is more the first kind; it’s a heartdream more than a moneydream. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do it.

    The way you said “I’m writing because I have nothing to lose except to not fulling my dream. I cannot allow my dream to just remain only my dream.” makes me think this dream means more to you than just money. The way you’ve held onto it for many years makes me feel it’s important enough to you not to give up on no matter what. Maybe you want help shaping it into something profitable, or maybe you want to ask for financial help to get the thing off the ground. Maybe both.

    I hope you will tell us more about it. One great thing about the internet is that you have about a billion helpers at your service around the clock.

12. October 1st, 2008 at 1:02 pm
    marti garaughty said

    hi Liz, a quick comment while I’m between “stuff”. Everything you said really connects with me since I had a tendency to learn things the hard way.

    Re “Define the dream”… probably the most important. It’s like taking a trip, you have to know where you’re heading in order to get there.

    If we don’t define it in clear, easy to understand terms, it’s easy to get lost before we really begin.

13. October 1st, 2008 at 1:57 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Thank you everyone, for helpng with this. You’re all bring such important thoughts to the conversation. I hardly know how to respond.

14. October 1st, 2008 at 3:03 pm
    Vicky H said

    Pama,

    First I think that you should give yourself a little pat on the back for your dedication and continuing to pursue this dream over the years.

    You’ve shown that this is important to you and I know you have probably dedicated quite a bit of your time, energy, and money.

    That is not a small task or a small amount of dedication. You need to show yourself a little love and give yourself a moment just to bask in the moments and accomplishments you’ve already achieved. I find when I do this, it makes me feel somewhat renewed, somewhat appreciated. It’s ok if you appreciate yourself and your accomplishments, that’s not wrong.

    Second, I’ve always found that many times when I am getting down about not completing the “whole picture” of my dream, I break it down into smaller steps. These smaller steps help in several ways, first they get you thinking of the pieces that are needed to form the whole pie, you may get someone who wants to help, then you’ll know the pie piece to give away. When you complete a step it gives you confidence.. We all need a little to see something start, process, and end. There is something very rewarding in that. By only having the one dream at a high level, you are missing out on the little steps that you are accomplishing.

    Third, many times I have found that the dream I have is very close to someone else’s dream. This is especially true on the internet because your meeting people from all over the world and have access to so many people and opinions. With my dream, I’ve always felt that I didn’t need to be the one driving the car as long as we were moving forward and getting closer to completing our goal. For instance, on my blog I have this series of posts called “Twitter For A Social Cause” and I’ve had @MailOurMilitary, @MissingChildren, and soon @BlogActionDay for Poverty. I am using my blog to help share their message, provide people with contact information, letting them know how they can help; email military person, donation, coordinate a special event.

    All three of these causes in some way support the mission of my dream. If you go to http://RemarkableParents.com and look for the article on Twitter for a Cause - eMailOurMilitary all the information is there. I don’t know if this program would meld well with your dream, but it may. There is a second person I know who does blogging for a military organization called Soldiers Angels http://soldiersangels.org/index.php?page=about-us

    I hope what I have said helped. I hope you follow and live your dream!

    Vicky H

15. October 2nd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
    Pama said

    To “Liz” and all the “Dearest of People” that have offered your wisdom to me, I stand amazed and humbled. Your kindness is pure and I am greatful for being your student. Many have asked for details of my dream/goals. It is really a simple, yet complex one. I will try to explain as it has unfolded so far.

    To begin, let me introduce myself. I’m Pama,
    short for Pamela, a nickname that often gets confused with a man’s name so no offense was taken at all
    In the 70’s I was a Police 911 Communications Officer. My husband’s military service took me to another state and so I had to resign. I loved it but things change, that was fine with me. I went on to have our only child and worked other jobs but didn’t have a passion for any of them. They were “money-only jobs”. That was fine. Seems that I have lived my life for others needs, I enjoy doing that, putting others first. In 1998, my son finished high school and was off to college which he did not enjoy. He had always wanted to make a difference with his life and chose to enlist in the military in 1999. He was to report for duty (boot camp) in Feb 2000. I WAS TOUCHED BY MY DREAM right then and there.

    STEP ONE: I went to the local mall to have a photo button made of my son’s military picture. Got it home and said “I can do one better than this”. I designed the graphics, did the text, worked up the template setting and called to buy a button making machine. The button press arrived and I knew it would be a corner-stone in my life. I made my button, complete with service seals and crests and unit colors. It was not a button but a true work of art reflecting all that could honor my son and his chosen unit. Pinned it on and would be stopped in Walmart and the Malls, where did you get it? I make them,… and I made many for other families to wear of their servicemember, all highly customized. I did this for free. My labor of love for those that stand watch for our freedoms.

    Then in 2000, STEP TWO happened.
    A friend said to go online and get a website, do this over the web for others as an arts and craft project. I did, had very high success with it until my computer was hacked into. I knew not to keep important info on my PC so the hacking did not put anyone’s information at risk. My internet provider called me about the hacking news and told me that they could tell from the keystrokes of my computer that the activities were not coming from me. They told me to call the local police about it. Having been a 911 Officer, I called the local branch of the FBI field office (there were soldiers and their families to consider). The field agent ask us to download the contents of our PC to CDs and to not stop taking orders so that they could investigate. I did everything they told me to do but I could not tell the anyone why the buttons were not being made and sent out to them. Many families got really mad at me. Still I stayed calm and hoped this would all pass soon. It did not, the rumor mills started going…I was ready to give up my goals.
    STEP THREE: I came to know a Proud Marine Mom who’s son was lost to us during the 2000 Yuma, AZ, Osprey crash (we lost 19 of Our Few and Proud in the crash). The “Gold Star Mothers” were going to the VIP Section of the Washington, DC, Mall on Veteran’s Day and to meet the President’s Detail. I told her I would design and make the buttons for all the family members of our 19 Fallen and also for the families of the prior Osprey crashes for them to wear. Twenty-nine fallen Marines. I made them, they were as beautiful as mine own son’s button. The “Gold Star Mothers” of the Osprey wore them and many important people saw them. My phone rang off the hook. Later my buttons were given to Sen. Kerry by Max Cleland. People would call and request as many as 4500 buttons. I could not take on the costs of such requests. I was still doing them for free.

    STEP FOUR happened. My friend suggested to form a 501c3 non-profit. I could make my buttons for our Military Families and Fallen Hero Families as my War Effort for our troops while receiving donations for the costs of materials and have a modest salary from the Non-Profit. It sounded wonderful, I felt the dream was real The Marines told me if I did form a 501c3, they could invite me to the military bases for Boot Camp Grads for Family Day. I was over the moon at the thought! It seems that in our state of GA, you have to have three or more people to be on the Board and the costs were way too high for my budget so I looked forward to doing it “another day”. I got tired, life seemed to get in the way of things…My car’s transmission went down, my husband was downsized from his good paying job and had to take a job for much less (more than half less). My budget to make my buttons came to a halt in 2006. Our son is now a Combat Vet, having served in Afghanistan. I do not think in terms of “For or Against” the Wars. Nor do I think in terms of the Politics often associated with wars. I do think about the many men and women that Step-Up to serve our Nation and allow us to Sleep Safe. So I continue to do my button work, my effort to thank our servicemembers for their service to us. I continue to keep the names and faces of our Fallen alive in the memories of their Nation through my “Memory and Honor” Tribute buttons for their families. I hope I have explained this OK. This is hard for me to tell, I have keep this private for years now. My final goals are simple:
    1. Have a secure website
    2. Form a 501c3 non-profit organization.
    3. RV to Military Towns, Events, Bases for Boot Camp Family Days
    4. Continue to make the “In Memory and Honor” buttons for the family members of our Fallen.
    5. Help the Families of our Combat Deployed soldiers with tight budgets to weather the rising household costs, heating bills, car repairs, food costs, medical bills, etc.
    6. Help to locate employers that will hire returning Combat Vets, National Guard, and Reserve Memembers.

    These goals real, ready to achieve soon. There is so very much to do and I cannot let it go undone. It has become more than a dream, it has become my life’s work…my mission. If any of this makes good sound sense to those that read this. Please help, I have stood outside in 103″ heat for days, in front of local stores, to rise monies for the VFW, and some for The Georgia National Guard Family Support Foundation. I am Ready, Willing and Able to make this long held dream into Reality. I need a few good strong people to Step Up and brave this with me, I can’t do all of this alone.
    Thank you so very much for your wise and kind words. I value where ever this writing leads me. They says its all in the Journey, I hope this writing helps to take me farther down my chosen path. It would be such a blessing.
    Thank you Liz, thank you to everyone that reads this and just knows I’m here with my Dream. Vicky H, thank you for all you are doing for our troops. I’m certain you have this passion too.
    Pama
    (Pamela)

16. October 2nd, 2008 at 4:09 pm
    Pama said

    To Liz,
    I never asked for help because it was never about me, it was always about our troops. I know that might sound corny but it is really very true. I was making the buttons for one of our Ga Fallen Hero Families about three years ago. My phone rang and a TV news reporter was doing a story about the Fallen Soldier’s family and was told that I was making the “Memory and Honor” Buttons for the family. The reporter requested that I allow her to bring a mobile film crew and film me as I made the Fallen Soldier’s buttons. I would not agree. She was not pleased at first because it would have added much to her TV news story. I explained why, its not about me, its about them. She thought a minute and in a low voice agreed to respect my point of view. Now, if telling my story here will help, I will agree to be less private. Thanks again, I just noticed that you had asked that question and I had failed to answer it before.
    Pama

17. October 2nd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
    Pama said

    Francine,
    Your question of “Does anyone NEED this” is a great question. One of my Osprey Families wrote me a note. She told me that she often looks down at the button she wears for her Fallen Marine son and wonders how such a tiny button brings her so much joy. She tells me its because it lets other people see his face, see his big smile, see his passion for his beloved Marines, his name. It helps to keep his memory alive and not forgotten. I have found that over time that is one of the greatest fears of our Fallen Hero Families, that their Fallen Soldier will be forgotten. My buttons help to assure that that does not happen. If there is a single thing about me that all of this answers it would be that. I am proud of knowing that single fact and that alone makes it the more worthwhile to continue reaching my dream. I know that when his mother tells me that he “Stands Guard Still” I can say YES he does and others know and remember him too.

18. October 2nd, 2008 at 8:21 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Pama,
    Ma’am I’m delighted to meet you.
    It’s amazing your other centeredness.

    Thank you for all you say here. Thank you for sharing your life.

    We’re all learning about asking for help and we know it’s not about us. It’s about having what we need to pass on what we need to pass on. Think of the additional smile that moms will be able to share if you have help to get your business going. The help isn’t for you, it’s for them.

    You’re not a stranger anymore.

19. October 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 am
    Trish | eMOM said

    Pama,

    I’d love to talk to you about making your dream a reality. I think I might be able to offer some sage advice and perhaps even introduce you to a few like minded folks.

    Please contact me via our website’s contact form at http://www.emailourmilitary.com/contact.htm