Why You Aren’t “You Living the Dream”

Filed Under Connecting Dots, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog | 4 Comments

What is between you and your dreams? Probably one of the toughest questions to ask yourself is, “why am I not living the dream?” Do you foresee yourself starting a business or living a harmonious life in a dream city, what is stopping you? Is it lack of money? Are you waiting for next big break? I have heard every excuse in the book from people who complain about life and out of every 100 complaints, about only 1 of them was valid enough for me to not argue with them.

Nike says it, all successful entrepreneurs live it, and you are avoiding it. Stop hiding from the future and “just do it.” Stop waiting for the moment for everything to be perfect, drop your books and set up an action plan to live your dream. It may take a bit of luck along the way, but hey, the journey is what makes the goal in mind worthwhile. If things came easily, we wouldn’t appreciate anything.

Ask any entrepreneur if they waited for the opportunity to start a business or if they created the opportunity. I bet 99% of them created an opportunity from something they loved. Getting on the bike is the hardest part. Dick Costolo, founder of Feed Buner says, “the key is to just get on the bike, and the key to getting on the bike… is to stop thinking about ‘there are a bunch of reasons I might fall off’ and just hop on and peddle the thing.”

Fear of Sacrifice
We all have to give up something to get to where we want. My entrepreneurial endeavors have taken a major toll on my personal life. Instead of working 8-5 and being able to spend time with friends, I work 8am-1am on my startup. Are you afraid of working hard? I don’t believe in failures, I do believe there are people who aren’t motivated because they haven’t found their calling in life. Putting everything into something we love is worth it… if we truly love it.

Fear of Failure
Are you scared of your dream project failing? If you don’t get behind the wheel you will never give yourself a chance to fail. Michael Jordan was once quoted saying, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Putting yourself out there is the sauce to the stew.

Waiting For Everything to be Perfect?
The worst excuses I’ve ever heard are “the time isn’t right.” I hate to break it to you all, but the time will never be 100% perfect. There will not be a solar eclipse moment in time where the planets align, and set your business rolling. To get a successful dream accomplished, takes grind out work in inopportune times.

Keep the dream alive. Whether you are a 40 year-old mother wanting to blog or a an 18 year old college kid with hopes for Mars, the barriers to achieving our dreams are often high, but learning how to overcome barriers, truly changes the world. Our time is precious, so you shouldn’t wait. Draft up an action plan today highlighting what you are doing to live the dream.

Image Credit: Armenian Now

Matt Krautstrunk is a writer and social entrepreneur, touching on topics ranging from social media marketing to postage meters for Resource Nation; and online resource providing purchasing advice for small business owners and entrepreneurs.

Success: do you have it in you?

Filed Under Connecting Dots, Guest Writer, Idea Bank, Motivation/Inspiration, Outside the Box, Successful Blog, leadership | 3 Comments

Freedom is an inner (as well as a physical) state of being. – @RabbiShaiSpecht

In a previous blogpost, I talked about what inspires me to write. Sometimes, it’s a quote; sometimes it’s my children; other times, it’s people who populate my social networks and in the case of this week, inspiration came in the form of the above tweet.

So many people focus on freedom as being an external factor: the ability to earn a lot of money; the latitude to travel or the ability to pursue a particular career. While there are those who appear to have achieved a level of success any or all of those categories, true freedom actually starts within before it is fully manifested externally.

It is within that we release our fears, our prejudices and our internal beliefs that form our barriers to success and independence. Once we are able to identify our specific barriers, then we have the opportunity to transcend and overcome them.

As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery.  We have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness. – Dalai Lama

For most, the fear of failure is the biggest barrier to reaching independence. We may be afraid that we won’t succeed in achieving our goals and so we never try. Closely related, paradoxically, is fear of success. For many, it’s almost worse to succeed. For it’s when we succeed that people count on us. Expectations are created. We fear that we cannot sustain a certain level of success and so we prefer not to try.

In terms of prejudices, some cling to thoughts like “rich people are snobs.” Demonizing people who have what we secretly fear to achieve is a derivation on the Aesop’s fable of the fox and the sour grapes. We deride what we cannot achieve (or perceive that we are unable of achieving).

Attachments come in the form of relationships (either ones we wish to have or ones we wish we could escape). Attachments also manifest as a preferred outcome to any given situation. What’s helpful to realize through all of this is that fear forms the root of all assaults against independence. Fear manifests as anger, a wish to control, suspicion and all other sorts of emotions that restrict our freedom.

A good way to determine what your particular fear centers are and how they rank in order of severity is to list your goals in the affirmative and see which ones really rankle you. For example, take out a sheet of paper and write out positive statements as if you had already achieved them:

1. “I enjoy my job.”
2. “What I do makes a difference.”
3. “I make enough money to satisfy my desires.”

Take note of your gut reaction to these (and other, similar) statements. When you hear your inner voice say, “Yeah, right!” in response, that’s a hint, indicating barriers to those particular gaps in your journey to independence.

Keep this list handy. Next week, we’ll tackle it head on, and work to address the cause(s). As always, please feel free to share any feedback in the comments below. Do you already notice a barrier that you’ve seen represented in your life? How did you overcome it?

——-
Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Through this action, the individual applicant benefits, as does society as a whole. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive)

Why does hope matter?

Filed Under Connecting Dots, Guest Writer, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog, leadership | 7 Comments

On your journey to independence, you are going to be figuratively rocked back on your heels from time to time. People will let you down. The funding for your project will fall through. You may be betrayed by a friend or a family member. A resource you counted on may not be available. It’s times like these when I think of my grandmother.

She was a child of the Great Depression, and through her, I learned resourcefulness, creativity and persistence. When I would get to a point in a problem or challenge where I had reached the end of my reasoning, I would ask her for help. Her answer? “Pretend you’re alone.” Forced to adopt this perspective, my brain “widened” to include options I hadn’t fully explored previously. Giving up was not an option.

When faced with abandoning my problem or continuing on in the hopes of finding a solution, I had to ask myself ‘why? why are you intent upon completing this task? to what end? for what purpose?’ For me, the kernel of the ‘why’ was my seed of hope.

Hope is linked to promise ~ the promise of what can be, the promise of our dreams. Without the underpinnings of a reason (the seed of hope), none of us have the driver for improving our behavior.

“When the world says, ‘give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time.’”- Unknown

When you reach the figurative end of your rope, you must have a reason for continuing if you are to reach your goal. Therefore, your first responsibility to yourself is to distill/link your goals into the “whys.”

• “I want to be financially independent.” (why?)
  “I want to pay off my debts.” (why?)
  “I want to own my own company.” (why?)
  “I want to ……”

Without linking a concrete “why” to each of your goals, reaching them will remain a series of nebulous, moving targets. You’ll make sporadic progress in fits and starts, frustrating yourself. You may eventually get where you are going, but it will be through some sort of “Woodstockian” random flight pattern trajectory. It is much more satisfying and productive to determine what you want and devise a plan to get there.

If you find yourself with an unsettling, gnawing frustration about your lot in life, you owe it to yourself to discern your goals, motivations and processes. It is impossible to get what you want when you don’t know what you want. Period.

We’ve talked about the power of journaling in previous blogposts. If you have been keeping one, review the past month and see what themes emerge. What are recurring topics? These subjects reveal clues to your focus and opportunities in your life to change.

From those topics, pick three that really speak to you. This is your Gut talking – your internal compass. Pick the three that jump from the page. Then translate the theme into a goal statement. For example, let’s assume that money is a theme. Your goal statement could be as simple as, “I want to become more aware of how I spend my money (goal) so that I can manage it more effectively (why).”

He conquers who endures. ~Persius

This is the part where you have to decide if you’re serious. Is your “why” strong enough to sustain you when Life throws its curve balls at you? If not, either abandon your goal or tweak your statement to something more meaningful for you. Sometimes, for me, the best “endurance” exercise is to repeat my goal statement – to remind myself why I’m doing this.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them. ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. ProfessionWarren’s , 1893

When you can read this quote and hear it from a dispassionate, non-judgmental voice, you will have internalized your own power. You will have tapped your own wellspring of endurance, because you will have realized that you are capable of transforming your life. Through hope; through endurance, you will reach your goals.

When did you experience a turning point in your life? When did you achieve a goal through hope?

——-
Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Through this action, the individual applicant benefits, as does society as a whole. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive)

Thanks, Molly!
–ME “Liz” Strauss

Will you live in fear or in faith?

Filed Under Connecting Dots, Guest Writer, Inside-Out Thinking, Motivation/Inspiration, Outside the Box, Successful Blog, Survival Kit, The Big Idea, leadership | 6 Comments

Faith isn’t faith if you know the outcome. We’ve discussed in previous posts the importance faith has when living an independent life. Whether expressed as comfort with flux; or taking a managed risk, entrepreneurs have to take a leap of faith in order to reach their goals. And, in a brief reference to even last week’s post, it’s a leap that we must each ultimately make alone.

Many times, my point of reference is the movies. When I think of ‘leaps of faith,’ one of my most vivid examples I can think of is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. In order to save his father’s life, Indy must recover the Holy Grail by deciphering riddles – clues to avoiding the deadly devices designed to prevent seekers from finding the Grail.

After successfully clearing two devices, Indy finds himself facing a chasm, across which their appears to be no bridge for him to safely cross. Reading from his father’s notes, Indy says to himself, “Last is the breath of God: Only a leap from the lion’s head, shall he prove his worth.” He then steps into nothingness and is rewarded by stepping onto an invisible, narrow span which allows him to cross.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Action. Action begets opportunity. Opportunity begins with taking a step.

Key to independence is taking that first step. The staircase is there; but even if we COULD see each step leading to the doorway at its zenith, we can physically only take one step at a time. Our job is to take the step immediately before us. Our responsibility is to step.

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.-Gail Devers

This is the hardest part. Another blogger called this time between steps “The Middle.” I truly wish that I could remember which one wrote it for proper attribution. However, it’s true: The Middle is where we are tested.

While we are taking our steps toward our goals, The Middle is the part where our friends and family may doubt our sanity. Leads may not pan out. Financing may dry up. We may even begin to doubt ourselves and our ability to reach our goal. When we are feeling unsure, we must revisit our plans, focus on what it is we hope to achieve and examine our motivations. Once you have had a chance to take this time to review, and all your instincts affirm your actions, press forward.

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.-Patrick Overton

This is what it all comes down to, doesn’t it? Do you trust yourself? Everyone who lives life on his or her own terms has come to this crossroads. Is it fair? Absolutely. We are each the product of our choices and convictions. Making choices like this one is the price of admission to a full and rewarding life.

I usually refer to this moment as the ‘put up or shut up’ moment. We are called to live out our values. Again, faith is not faith if it’s based on the known, no matter how much we may wish for guarantees. In order to achieve independence, we must step out in faith. When I’m feeling small and more than a little crazy, I am encouraged by the words of a pioneer in her field:

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.-Marie Curie

It is worth it. You are worth it. Decide. And then take that step.