Critical Skill 9: How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions

Filed Under Outside the Box, Successful Blog | 13 Comments

Let Me Think about That . . .

Life is a never-ending series of choices and decisions. Do I get up now or wait another minute? Do I sign this contract or hope for a better offer? Do I buy a new desk or upgrade my computer?

Some choices are fun . . . Where do I take my friends when they come to visit?
Some decisions are not so . . . Do I uproot my family or give up the great job in another city?

The fun ones speed up our thinking with endless possibilities. The not so fun ones mire us in thoughts of dead-end alleys. Sometimes, we forget that we have options about how we consider and respond to choices and decisions.

The Dilemma of Logic and Emotion

It’s almost impossible to find a child who doesn’t like to solve a puzzle or a riddle. Children usually find choices fun too — when the choices are simple or they can choose again. Decisions are a little trickier, because decisions cut off other options. Most adults don’t like big decisions any more than children do.

It’s the cutting off other options that often finds us in a dilemma. No answer seems the right one. Or worse, no answer even looks a glimmer better than another.

Our brains are made to sort information, make choices, and come to decisions. No decision is particularly frightful when we face it with raw logic. But logic alone omits a good part of what makes us human. We need our hearts and our personal goals to get to a grounded, well-rounded decision.

The issue is that our logic can be at odds with our intuition and emotion.

How to Have Positivity and Confidence Making Tough Decisions

A great decision is made from what we bring to the situation. We can’t change our views in response to every decision, but we can check our own and other folks’ views. If we open ourselves to test our thinking, a tough decision process can be one of positivity and confidence. Try approaching your next tough call in these ways.

Logic and Emotion Chart
Make a two-column chart. Label the columns, Head and Heart. Above the labels, write the decision you’re facing. Spend at least 15 minutes listing logical reasons in the Head column. List both the boldly important factors and the random, minor reasons. — Don’t value your items. — Write them all down. Do the same for the Heart column. Make each list as long as you possibly can.

When you look them over, notice which list you tried to make longer. (It will show itself by the number of minor reasons listed there.) That’s your subconscious saying what you want to do.
An Internal Board of Directors.
Each of these people would approach the question from a different viewpoint. Write 1-3 things each of them would see that you haven’t yet considered.
- A scientist.
- A mathematician or musician.
- An explorer or geographer.
- An artist.
- A teacher.
- A writer.
- A politician.
What new ideas did you find in their points of view?

These approaches to tough decisions help us stand outside our thinking. In the chart of Logic and Emotion, we weigh our head and heart, but we also see our intuitive or experiential bias. Revealing that subconscious bias can help us sort more quickly than the information on the list itself. When we consult our Internal Board of Directors, we open our minds to new ideas and new views.

Those new ideas and new views offer a wealth of contingencies and possibilities. The decision made from them will be grounded and well-thought. We can move forward with positive confidence about what we’ll do.

How do you get through tough decisions with confidence?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Need help sorting decisions? Click on the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.
SOBCon08 is May 2,3,4 in Chicago. All that expertise in one room! Register now!

Tags: 10 Skills Most Critical to Your Future, brand-niche-marketing, critical-skills

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The Game of Life

Filed Under Idea Bank, Outside the Box, Successful Blog | 14 Comments

how we make things work.

We finish a day’s work exhausted, burnt out, bone tired. If we were asked to keep going, it would be a stretch — nor a healthy thing. Do we go home to rest? Do we take a nap, rejuvenate and refuel? No, most of us don’t. An hour or two later, you’ll find us out dancing, playing ball, or at the gym lifting weights.

Many of the sports and activities that we do for fun require more physical and mental energy than what we need to invest to get through a work day. Yet, they don’t wear us out nearly as much, and in some cases, they pick us back up.

How is that? It’s no surprise that it has to do with how we think about work.

Years ago, Charles A. Coonradt tested his idea by turning work tasks into measurable self-competing contests — games that could be won. Folks were asked to weigh the paper they filed every day. Within 3 weeks, a department that had overdue filing for 3 years was ahead and found itself with 3 hours extra each day. The people in the department asked for more work — new work — that they could measure that way. [He called his book, The Game of Work.]

Sometimes I use this technique to get myself to conquer tasks I’m not fond of doing. Today I’m wondering what life would be like if I took the same approach to everything I do?

Have you thought about that? What problem would be easier if you thought of it as one more level, challenge, quest, in the game of life?

Tags: being-alive, Ive-been-thinking, problems

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How I Chose 18 Thought Leaders to Follow (and Their Links)

Filed Under Idea Bank, Outside the Box, Successful Blog | 27 Comments

Business, Blogs, Living

Yesterday, I talked about

How to Play Follow the Leader to Kick Start Your Brain

Today I thought I might take that further and tell how to choose who to follow.

How I Chose 18 Thought Leaders to Follow

Great leaders don’t have the answers. They have the questions. They seek the answers. They look at who came before them. They talk, but listen more. They write, but not as much as they read. Great leaders are a curious lot.

They encourage us to do our own thinking. Here’s the criteria used to choose 18 Thought Leaders and links to their blogs and blog posts to demonstrate what I’m saying.

Follow the folks who like ideas and learning.

Big ideas by Seth Seth explains why leaders give away ideas.
TED Talks — Inspired Ideas worth spreading TED Talks is an entire video blog of Inspired talks by the world’s greatest thinkers and doers. Watch one. Then watch one a week.
The Virtues of Structure by Ann Michael “Ideas have to add up before they multiply.”

Follow the folks who are curious and curious about you.

Bridge Strategies for Social Media Adoption by Chris Brogan When Chris isn’t sharing new ideas, he’s asking about them.
The Manager’s Cheat Sheet: 101 Common Sense Rules for Leaders by Dwayne Melancon The tagline of this blog says it all, “Always on the lookout for new things to learn.”
How Social Networks are Disrupting Everything you Know About Business by Valeria Maltoni Keeping the conversation on the right ideas isn’t easy.

Follow the folks who are positive.

Positive Thinking Day sponsored by ipop-in by Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. You’ll find a wealth of positive leadership here. “Help us change the world. One thought at a Time!”
Joyful Jubilant Learning a community managed by Rosa Say To ho‘ohana is to work with passion and with purpose, and we consider learning a joyful and worthwhile life’s work. We call it our 7 Wonders: Listen, Learn, Laugh, Link, Love, Live, and Leap to Wonder with us.
Positive Thinking Can Relieve Pain Says Study by the Good News Network More than 320 positive news stories published everyday.

Follow the folks who are jazzed about what they do.

I’m jazzed! by the Virtual Wire Entrepreneurs, consultants, and small business owners meet here for virtual working partnerships.
The Jeff Pulver Blog: On Entrepreneurship: Be Passionate by Jeff Pulver You’ll have to go far to meet a guy more jazzed about life.
Jazzed about Workin . . . from Fast Company by Bill Breen All of Fast Company Magazine Bloggers are fabulous.

Follow the folks who know where they are going.

WordPress.com Growth by Matt Mullenweg Every month in a wrap-up post, Matt shares his thoughts on the blog world.
http://Emoms at Home by Wendy Piersall Just watch what she’s got going.
make art not ads - getting your readers’ attention by Muhammed Saleem Everyday he’s pointing out something new that we should know about.

Follow the folks who’ve made it and are still there.

Need I say more?

The number of leaders on our doorstep is unimaginable. We could be inspired every minute.

Think of the leaders you recommend. What qualities do you use to choose who you follow?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Tags: blogging-leaders, ideas

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The Mic Is On: We’re Talking with Becky about Beer . . .

Filed Under Comments, Community, Links, Marketing, Outside the Box, SOB Business, Successful Blog | 305 Comments

It’s Like Open Mic Only Different

Here’s how it works.

It’s like any rambling conversation. Don’t try to read it all. Jump in whenever you get here. Just go to the end and start talking. EVERYONE is WELCOME.

The rules are simple — be nice.

There are always first timers and new things to talk about. It’s sort of half “Cheers” part “Friends” and part video game. You don’t know how much fun it is until you try it.