Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

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5 Ways to Maintain Relationships without Being a Credit Card Tramp

Filed Under Business Life, Guest Writer, Successful Blog | 3 Comments

The theme of SOBCon09 is the ROI of Relationships. To underscore the importance of relationships in business and to have a chance to make and celebrate a few while we’re doing that, I’ve opened up this series by successful and outstanding bloggers like you.

Maintaining Relationships without Being a Credit Card Tramp
by Steve Sildon

We’ve all been there. You’re at the restaurant with your friends and then the bill comes. Three out of the four people sitting at the table pull out their credit cards or cash and one friend excuses himself to head to the bathroom which seems to happen every time you go out with this particular person. What do you do? Many people, in an effort to avoid confrontation, will just add on the freeloader’s portion to their bill. Truth be told, many of these freeloading offenders will take advantage of your fear of confrontation. But what if you don’t really have the money to pay their way and cover their portion of the bill, but you knowingly charge it on your credit card anyway? Are you a credit card tramp?

If this situation sounds familiar, you need to take steps immediately to nip it in the bud. If it bothers you and you do not act on it, the situation can turn ugly and could result in a falling out and the loss of an important relationship.

While it can be an uncomfortable situation — you don’t want to offend your family member or lose a friend over a dinner bill — you also can’t afford to keep picking up their tab. Use these five tactics to deal with your mooching friend or family member, and keep yourself out of debt at the same time.

  1. Set the Expectation Upfront: There are times when you want to treat your family to a nice dinner out or some of your friends to do some entertaining. Then there are times when you just can’t afford it. Set the expectations upfront by saying, “Tonight, it’s my treat,” or “It’s your turn to pay.” This is an appropriate, non-confrontational way to let them know who will be footing the bill. You can also drop a hint by saying something like, “I don’t have enough cash to cover my portion, so I’m going to have to use my credit card. Do you need to stop by the ATM or are you going to use your credit card too?” This is more of a subtle approach to letting them know that you are not their personal ATM.
  2. Ask for Separate Checks. When placing your order at dinner, let the waiter know upfront who should be included on each check. Point out who is on your bill and who is on the other bill or bills. This politely lets the waiter know he needs to split the bills, and it also alerts the other people at the table that they’re responsible for paying their own part of the bill. On those rare occasions where restaurants say they can’t split the check when you place your order, refer to tip number four on how to deal with this situation.
  3. Try Getting the Money First. This tactic might seem a bit awkward, but talk with your mooching family member or friend and find out if they are having money problems that are prohibiting them from being able to afford eating out. This doesn’t have to be an abrupt conversation with screaming and yelling. If you’re planning on going to see a movie or maybe even a concert, let that person know that you don’t have the money to pay for both of you. Find out how they plan to pay for their tickets and get the payment upfront before you purchase them.
  4. Stand Your Ground. Like it or not, if this type of behavior has become a regular routine, you’re going to have to step up to the plate and put your foot down on it. The bottom line is you’ve got to speak up for yourself and stand your ground. Again, this doesn’t have to be a screaming match in a public place. Maintaining a matter-of-fact attitude that allows you to simply state the facts is ideal. For example, you might say something like “Your half of the bill is $50. Which credit card are you planning on using?” This will send a very clear signal that they will have to carry their own weight and pay their portion. Period.
  5. Tell Them How You Feel. While some mooching friends and family do it knowingly, others may not realize what they’re doing unless you tell them. Perhaps you always pick the restaurant and the restaurant that you choose just happens to go above and beyond their means. They might be too embarrassed to let you know they can’t afford it so they just go along with your choice. Sit down one-on-one and explain how you feel. Calmly tell them that it bothers you to always pick up the tab in it’s entirely when you’re out at restaurants, on vacation, or whatever the case may be. It’s helpful to point out specific incidents. Explain that you yourself can’t always afford to carry the financial load when you’re eating out together or entertaining, so he either needs to start paying his own way or you can choose restaurants or outings that are more affordable to him so he can comfortably pay his own way.

Using these five tactics can help you move away from being that dreaded credit card tramp who always seems to pick up the tab and lets the offending party off the hook. You can do it politely, with honor, grace and dignity though. More importantly, you can do it and still maintain a relationship with those friends or family members who always seem to be the ones helping you run up your credit card bill. Most people will understand where you are coming from. Of course, there might be some people that don’t understand, but you have to take action to curb the situation if you hope to maintain some kind of a relationship with them.

How they react to you taking charge of the situation is beyond your control. More importantly, how they respond to it, favorably or not, is simply not your problem. It’s their problem now.

Steve Sildon, Managing Director of CreditCardAssist.com. Steve writes about a variety of personal finance topics including saving, investing, debt consolidation, credit cards and mortgages.

Register for SOBCon09 NOW!! Explode your network of relationships!

It’s So Easy to Get Stuck Repeating What We Already Know

Filed Under Guest Writer, Marketing, Successful Blog | 18 Comments

A Partnered Post by Heather Rast and Liz Strauss

Knowing What We Don’t Know

He was a young man, Stephen, straight from MBA school. In every meeting he’d apply what he’d learned from this book or from that professor. He’d forget that his audience was 7 or 8 people who’d each been in business since before he knew what business was.

He could analyze, organize, spreadsheet, posit, and problem solve, but mostly we thought of him as “school smart and business naive.” Oh yeah, he knew plenty that we didn’t. Only, some days he didn’t know what he didn’t know … and he forgot that we knew things too.

I Called Him My Irritating Little Brother

I liked him, even when he had his head stick in invisible books. On Fridays he’d “dress down” to business casual, even though the rest of us wore jeans all week — and he’d get all self-conscious when he did. That’s when I thought of him my Irritating Little Brother. The affection helped on occasions like this one.

In one meeting, Stephen proposed a fairly classic plan of action. I gently tried to point out a possible hole in his approach to our situation.

“That’s inconsequential,” he said, brushing my thoughts aside with a musical word.
I smiled and replied, “Thank you!” with overdone joy and enthusiasm.
He stopped, looked at me, and replied, “What?”
Bigger smile. “Inconsequential. I haven’t had that word tossed my way for the longest time.”
He was stunned. Then he smiled back and listened. He made had room for experience that didn’t come from school.

Breaking Out of the Repeating Conversation



Stephen wasn’t necessarily arrogant or even intentionally narrow-minded. But he hadn’t considered an approach other than his own — which is to say, a linear, traditional approach. And he hadn’t considered his audience — people with real-world, complex business problems that might not be solved with an academically choreographed, sequenced formula.

What Stephen needed was to channel his learnings and solicit tested techniques and ideas from his colleagues. Together, they could discuss, debate, and collaborate solutions, all the while learning valuable lessons from one another.

Stephen would better understand that learning and solutions needn’t be centered around heavily vetted models and dogma. And that people need to be engaged if you hope to be able to lead and guide them. The audience could learn practical ideas from one another, while gaining an appreciation for how traditional texts could be applied to real situations.

In the world of the digital gap, there’s two sides to this argument.

Some folks are Business Smart, but don’t value the Virtual Conversation.
Some folks are so Social Media Smart that we’ve lost our Concrete footing.
It’s easy to get stuck repeating what we already know.

Hopefully the folks who listen say, “Thank you” and share what they know anyway.

Got some words of wisdom for breaking out of a repeating conversation?

Heather Rast writes at Insights&Ingenuity about the delicate balance between achievement and growth.

and me well, you already know.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

It’s time to Register for SOBCon09! Come listen and talk.

The Travellers Three

Filed Under Guest Writer, Successful Blog, Writing | 8 Comments

It’s that time of year when people are planning events, gathering together, sharing in laughter, food and friendship. Many stories will be told, old and new. As people come together with family and loved ones, many will be thinking of the infamous event many years ago, which led to the celebrations, most of us are now having.

 

I like to think about all the stories being told at that time in history, long, long ago. My favorite story goes something like this: It was dusk in the desert. Three travelers from different parts and backgrounds gathered together to share food, fire and companionship. They began to tell stories and someone mentioned the divine birth of a mysterious child, a miracle, which was intriguing and spoke of hope. The night goes on and many more stories are shared and passed on. In the morning the strangers part ways leaving for their respective lands and taking with them memories. These stories travel and get re-told, passed on for years to come. The story changes as each teller recounts the memory of that night around the fire, just as the stories you share change with time. Remember to make sure your message is clear so even if the details change and subtle nuances are added, the central message or theme remains true to your intent.

I like to think that the story told that night about a mysterious child, a story of hope, remains clear through whatever lens you choose to view it.

Thanks to you all for sharing your stories and for the ones I know you will. A sincere thank you to @iamkhayyam for helping me understand my story.

Peace to you all.

Kathryn aka@northernchick

 

Beach Notes: Letting Go

Filed Under Guest Writer, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog | 4 Comments

gday logo

by Guest Writer Suzie Cheel

To move forward I know I need to let go of both physical and emotional stuff.

Tomorrow we have a council collection, so today we have spent a couple of hours cleaning out the garage and clearing out accumulated things I might use one day.

Des just commented how amazingly tidy the garage looked.

I located a few journals tucked away in boxes from a few years ago and found a poem I had written about letting go.

Mirrors of the Soul

Are you just being a mirror

for me and my soul?

There is a big leap

to make from the

known and familiar

There is the letting go

of ” who I think I am” to

“the who I know I will become”

But the freedom it will bring

will drive me on

I must let go

I must listen to my soul

- Suzie Cheel 21/11/99

I know as I continue to let go I will create more space for the new to flow in.

Are there times when you find it easier to let go?

Suzie writes on Law of Attraction at Abundance Highway and you can see her wonderful Art scarves and Art Quilts at Suzie Cheel

Affiliate Marketing Myths — Myth 2: It’s Best to Start with a Crash Course

Filed Under Guest Writer, Marketing, Successful Blog | 3 Comments

In this time of a down economy, who couldn’t do with another income stream? Those of who’ve been online for a few weeks or longer, realize that not every offer of income potential is quite what it seems to be.

James Nardell and his team at Shopster have been writing a series on myths bloggers have about affiliate marketing. This is the second in that series to help us all avoid some potholes on the information highway. (Does anyone still call it that?)

Myth 2: It’s Best to Start Affiliate Marketing with a Crash Course
A Guest Post by Raymond Lau

Is a crash course from a leading affiliate the best way to ramp up fast on affiliate marketing techniques?

Sort of. When looking for a crash course in affiliate marketing, the key words are “buyer beware”. While it is entirely possible to learn good fundamentals from a beginner’s course, there are many resources out there that are either misleading, out of date, or entirely loony.

A misleading technique is one that worked for someone, once, under circumstances they either cannot reproduce or cannot adequately expand. Avoiding this is as simple as doing your homework: look back at the history of the technique itself, and who is presenting it. The best business is built upon a stable foundation that can adapt to changes in the market. Learning the processes and habits of a fluke will only lead to troubles down the road.

An out-of-date technique is just as useless to you when starting out. Changes in affiliate marketing happen all the time, and as a beginner you simply cannot afford to start your business without a step ahead of the competition. Why even bother entering the race in the middle of the pack, where business winds down to the lowest bidder? Affiliate marketing is about innovation.

Of course, among the throngs of dead ends there are some shining examples of solid, easily-accessible courses from people who know what they’re doing. They’re not that hard to find (hah, they’d better not be!) and it takes virtually no time to get started with their guides.

Some are free, like the “Affiliate Masters” guide by Ken Evoy (http://aff-masters.sitesell.com/AffMasters.pdf) which thoroughly covers the potential beginning of your affiliate marketing life and provides a wealth of links to other solid resources.

Others, such as the Affiliate Marketer’s Handbook by James Martell, or Rosalind Gardner’s How I Made $436,797 in One Year Selling Other People’s Stuff Online, require an up-front investment but come with backup support and counseling by the authors themselves, allowing for a much more personal experience that may more thoroughly ingrain the fundamentals.

Whether you go for the free route or decide to pay for the information, there are three simple questions to ensure that what you’re learning will help you and your business:

1. Does it suit you? Look into the history of who is teaching and what they are saying. Make a judgment on whether or not what they’re teaching can be adapted to the markets you want to enter.

2. Is it stale? It’s one thing to learn a stable set of basics, and another entirely to clog your brain with dated information that has been reworked and improved upon since it first came out. Research the techniques offered to confirm they’re still relevant to today’s market.

3. What do you expect? Just because the course you’re taking promises to teach you the solid how-tos of affiliate marketing, don’t go in thinking you’ll get rich quick. By now you should know that “instant profit” is only made by people taking advantage of others who are looking for it.

–Resource box–
Raymond Lau is a marketing analyst for Shopster.com — a company that provides Web sellers with a dropship product source and e-Commerce storefront tools to build their online business. Shopster gives retailers and affiliates access to over 1 million products they can sell on auction sites or their own storefront. You can reach him at rlau@shopster.com.
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Thanks, James and Raymond!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

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