What do you and Harry Potter have in common?

Filed Under Guest Writer, Idea Bank, Successful Blog, leadership | 4 Comments

Are you going through a rough patch right now? Do you feel as though you are being taxed to your reserves? What is it that keeps you hanging on? Is it a mental toughness? Spiritual sustanance? Physical conditioning? Perhaps it is a combination of the three? Perhaps it is something undefined, yet no less real.

You may have been referred to as “strong,” by those around you. From whence does this strength originate? How do you expand upon it? How do you call upon it? How can you conjure it from the ether?

The answer? I don’t know. I just know that it’s there for those who call upon it – just like the Sword of Gryffindor.

If you are a fan of the Harry Potter books, you are familiar with the Sword of Gryffindor that Harry draws from the Sorting Hat while in the bowels of Hogwarts within the Chamber of Secrets in order to slay a serpent called a basilisk. Two things are significant here: one – Harry is able to draw the sword because he has faith that something is there/within. Something in reserve. …

“We acquire the strength we have overcome.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

…And two (this comes into play later in the series), the sword, once impregnated with the venom of the creature it has slain, is henceforth impervious to that specific poison. The blade is stronger, having triumphed over and internalized this particular obstacle.

Every time you are able to overcome a barrier, you have it now within you to triumph over similar trials that you encounter subsequently.

Strength is measured by what you can withstand – your capacity. Pliability, flexibility, adaptability. Each of these are components to withstanding various challenges that you will encounter as you move forward in your life. As you move forward, your challenges will increase in direct proportion to your capacity to withstand them.

“The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be.” – Horace Bushnell

As an analogy, think of a great ocean liner, leaving the harbor. While in the friendly confines of the harbor, the waves met are easily sluiced through. However, as the craft navigates the open waters of the vast ocean, the swells increase.

If you are facing experiences that strain your resources, congratulations. You are getting stronger. Take a moment, center yourself, and ask a few questions of yourself:

Where is my “pain”?
What is different about this experience from prior events in my life?
What are similarities with lessons I can recall?
How can I apply those lessons?
What are my available resources?
Who do I know that has navigated this challenge?

Reach out to those who have already developed this particular strength. Ask them about how they succeeded. Adapt what works for your situation. If it helps you to visualize the development of “strength,” I recommend envisioning something like weight training. When weight training, the growth or development of strength actually occurs between workouts, after the muscle tissue has been broken down by lifting.

After you have experienced a particularly turbulent period in your life, reflect about the “muscle building” opportunities hidden within.

What did you learn?
What did you overcome?
How did you grow?
How will you recognize this lesson in the future?

Periodically, review your life’s trajectory and see where you had intense periods of effort, possibly struggle. Give yourself credit for the progress you have made. This awareness is the key to building your strength and providing the wellspring from which your spirit can draw the next time you need to tap your reserves.

Always remember, you have it within yourself to achieve great and wonderful things. What are you facing today? How can you overcome it? What would you need to do so? How can you make it happen?
——-

Molly Cantrell-Kraig is a woman with drive. Possessing an innate sense of purpose and a pragmatic, solution-based approach to empowering people, she fused these two traits in order to establish Women With Drive Foundation. Based upon its founder’s personal history, Women With Drive Foundation is a means through which Cantrell-Kraig may effect change on both a micro and macro level. By providing women with something as essential as personal transportation in order to transition them from poverty to prosperity, she, through Women With Drive Foundation, seeks to empower women to help them help themselves. Through this action, the individual applicant benefits, as does society as a whole. Follow Molly on twitter as @mckra1g or @WWDr1ve (Women With Drive Foundation) or “Like” them on facebook.

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What are the benefits of being curious?

Filed Under Guest Writer, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog, ZZZ-FUN | 4 Comments

Have you ever read the book, “Who Moved My Cheese”? I use the premise of the four characters quite often when I consider the various sorts of folks who cross my path on a daily basis. For example, as much as I love my mother, I know that she is squarely in the “Hem” camp. She, among the four analogies outlined in the book, is the character who will continue to visit the empty cheese room, convinced that, surely, certainly, there will indeed be a new cheese shipment arriving any moment. Of course, alas, the cheese never arrives.

I’m going to assume that most of the people reading this are probably closer to the “Sniff” and “Scurry” sort. You are probably an early adopter, and know which way the wind blows. You probably sense trends and anticipate movement. You are probably curious.

You are probably either independent, or seeking to further your transition to that state. Curiosity is probably one of the best ways to get there, and I’m going to give you my $.02 as to why.

Curious people try the path not taken.
Curious people see if something will work.
Curious people look under the hood.
Curious people don’t let things lie.

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.” ~ James Stephens

Curiosity is the impetus for bravery in some instances. The curious are DRIVEN, compelled even, by the need to KNOW. As a result, we will take risks. We will shove our fear into our back pocket and “give it a shot.”

If you are still reading, I know that I have found a kindred spirit. You are familiar with that feeling in your gut that almost goads you into action. Your need to satisfy your curiosity is more powerful than your fear of failure. Good. That means that you are destined for great things. Because the curious keep trying.

“Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why.” ~ Bernard Baruch

If you are curious, you are also probably an innovator. Most folks walking this plane are content to go about their daily business without looking too far afield. They stay in their lane; color inside the lines and keep their eyes fixed on the stuff right in front of them. They are “safe,” and that’s perfectly oka-lee-dokalee.

Curious people, on the other hand, disembowel clocks. They rip apart business models. They disrupt stuff left and right. They probably spent a LOT of time in the corner as kids. We can be maddening to people who rather we just leave things alone. Status Quo People get really frustrated with the Curious.

“I keep six honest serving-men,

They taught me all I knew;

Their names are What and Why and When

And How and Where and Who.” ~ Rudyard Kipling

However, it is this seeking that leads to expansion and independence. The same curiosity that brought us Tang and the space program also brought us twitter, cleantech, Futurama and the cure for polio.

Speaking of social media, I also believe that the folks who are out here in the ether are a harbinger of a new paradigm (even the Bieberists). Social media has no boundaries and is populated by those who are Seekers.

Whether talking about the Kardashians or Tahir Square, this new frontier is peopled by the curious. We may not always be talking about the same thing from the same perspective, but we are talking. Which leads to …

“Be curious, not judgmental.” ~ Walt Whitman

In the pursuit of knowledge, it is vitally important to try very hard to uncover information without assigning specific value to it. For example, the earth is not the center of the universe, although at one point in human history, to state otherwise was cause for excommunication. In order to glean the most from our experiences as we pursue information, it is important to dispassionately observe what we find.

Through trial and error, consistent (and mindful) questioning and a willingness to grow our awareness, we will find ourselves on a glorious journey of wonder.

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” ~ Dorothy Parker

Thank goodness.

What led you here today? What would you like to learn? What questions drive you? What steps are you taking to grow your knowledge?

——-

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“What’s in it for me?”

Filed Under Basics, Business Life, Guest Writer, Successful Blog | 1 Comment

“What’s in it for me?” If you have had any sales training of any sort, this mantra will be a familiar teaching prompt which will have been drilled into your head as a means for you to help you help your customer.

In order to get what you want (ie. commission, job security, a raise etc.), you must be able to help someone else obtain what they want.

Although this can appear to have a cynical slant, it’s actually quite unselfish if you can see it from a true symbiotic exchange of energy and matter.

What does this have to do with discipline, right? This week’s post is probably the most woo-woo of the three. Bear with me for a sec.

Over the previous few weeks, we’ve discussed three underpinnings of self-discipline and how to achieve it, namely:

Love what you do.
Like who you are.
Respect yourself in others.

For the purposes of this post, I have reduced high math and physics to exceedingly rudimentary assumptions and theories. Based on the modern theory of matter, energy and matter are very closely related. Further, I believe that we ourselves are highly structured and articulate forms of energy, supported by a network of matter (which itself is probably a denser expression of energy).

I would also posit that there is only so much matter and energy in the form of raw materials available on this planet. Therefore, chances are good that each of us is probably repurposed from various existing carbon molecules lying around. This human genetic variation, when figured into a global model, gives us a pretty good visualization of our true common humanity.

When I say ‘respect yourself in others,’ it’s because quite frankly, there’s probably some of your DNA floating around out there in your neighbor, so to speak.

Last week’s post discussed “liking you you are.” The extension and extrapolation of this premise is that if you like who you are, logic dictates that you must like yourself in others.

“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

You can tell much about a person by the way he or she treats others, especially those who can do him or her “no good.” To bring this back to the ‘what’s in for me’ symbiosis example from the first paragraph, when we discipline ourselves from a perspective rooted in respect for Other, we are, in fact honoring ourselves. Paradoxically, when we give from a position of truly wishing to elevate another, we are ourselves elevated.

I don’t think of this as the same as altruism, per se; but wanting to achieve and holding ourselves to a higher standard through discipline for the betterment of The Whole is pretty close. Closer to altruism would be the understanding and willingness to be strong for others until they could achieve strength on their own. This could be seen in a parent-child relationship; mentor-mentee or any other assumption of sacrifice on behalf of another.

Have you ever been the beneficiary of someone else’s discipline? How did it help you grow? How did affect your willingness to help another? Can you recall times when you chose to discipline yourself for the betterment of others? What was your motivation?

——-

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How self-respect leads to discipline

Filed Under Guest Writer, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog | Leave a Comment

Take a moment and think of your best friends. What is it about them that you like? If one of them called you and asked for a huge favor – one that would put a bit of a dent in your schedule or pocket book – would you help him or her out? More often than not, you would.

As a matter of fact sometimes, we go to great lengths to not let other people down, but we come up short when it has to do with how we treat ourselves. This month, we are talking about Three Ways to Build Self Discipline:

Love what you do.
Like who you are.
Respect yourself in others.

Today’s post covers the second of three parts: Like who you are. When we like who we are, we don’t want to let ourselves down.

How do you feel about yourself? Do you like who you are? Some of us treat ourselves like terrible friends. We are disappointed with ourselves. We talk negatively about ourselves. We may spend time with lots of other people so that we avoid having to spend time alone with ourselves.

One of the best ways to establish discipline is to treat ourselves the way we would a treasured friend. The way we treat ourselves is a reflection of our self-respect. When we like ourselves, we believe that we are worth the investment of self-development.

“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power. “ ~ Clint Eastwood

One of the truisms that I’ve learned over the past year or so is that there IS value in the attempt. Your efforts can command respect, regardless of the outcome. Through mindfulness and measurement, you can assess the effectiveness of what you do and then make adjustments accordingly. When you give yourself credit for the things that you do well, you expand upon them. Here are some ways to recalibrate and keep moving forward:

Pause.
Breathe.
Assess.
Celebrate.
Start again.

Belittling yourself for trying leads to a self-destructive cycle.

“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline…” ~Abraham J. Heschel

When you begin to establish good habits, you start to like yourself more. Your head clears, and you smile more. Good choices stand out in stark relief and your vision/discernment develops. Paradoxically, by taking baby steps toward better choices, you are able to fortify your self-esteem, which feeds back into greater amounts of discipline. It’s a bit like the chicken and the egg as to which comes first, but both self-respect and discipline exist in tandem.

Are you kind to yourself?
Do you take care of your health?
How do you sleep?
Is your clothing shabby? Your personal hygiene sloppy?

Although these may seem like odd questions, each is an indicator of how much we value ourselves. One of the questions on the participant assessment for Women With Drive Foundation is, “Do you floss?” Faithful adherence to flossing indicates an attention to detail, consistent effort in small tasks and a commitment to the care and health of the individual. These skill sets transfer to the ability to save money, attend classes, follow through on administrative banalities and the like…all of which are skills which build independence.

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~ Joan Didion

This is the clincher. When we accept responsibility for our life, we begin to see how our choices have consequences. When we identify the variables over which we have control and take ownership of them, our self esteem soars. We no longer “believe in luck.”

As an exercise, over the next few days, when you are tempted to give up on yourself, literally say aloud, “I am worth the effort.” Honor the fact that your heightened awareness is in itself an achievement. Commit yourself to reaching your goals.

When the going gets really rough, pull on a fuzzy sweater and take a page from Stuart Smalley, who so famously states, “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.”

And they do.

——-

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How love anchors discipline

Filed Under Guest Writer, Motivation/Inspiration, Successful Blog | 2 Comments

Discipline is the mortar that binds the foundation of achievement – built brick by brick; habit by habit. Choice by choice, the decisions we make forge our future. Last Sunday, we talked about Three Ways to Build Self Discipline. As a brief recap, these were the points we covered:

How do you begin to build?
How do you harness, mold and focus your energies?

Over the course of this and the next two blog posts, we’ll explore the following in greater detail, but for now here are the essentials:

Love what you do.
Like who you are.
Respect yourself in others.

Today, we’re going to talk about love. Hearts, chocolates and flowers are only the merest wisp of what love is. Those who operate from this most peripheral comprehension of love usually balk at the idea that love has anything whatsoever to do with discipline.

But the underpinnings of love are the most central and essential components of REAL commitment vis-à-vis discipline. Have you ever hung in there when your kid screams at you, “I HATE YOU!!!”? I have. My answer to my child? “I love you enough to let you hate me.”

Love is the highest vibration of excellence that exists. It is so pure, so elemental, that we cannot define it; we can only sense when it is present. Have you ever teared up at the sound of someone’s voice while singing? Had a lump in your throat when witnessing a kindness?

That’s love made manifest, and it’s the most galvanizing force in our reality.

It’s the grist that fuels effort. It’s the ballast that centers us and it’s the driver that sustains us when we want to give up.

The easiest way to discipline yourself is to expend your efforts toward a goal you love. If you hate running but love riding your bike, what would you say is the better way of the two options to achieve a daily cardiovascular workout? (Hint: Riding your bike). Torturing yourself by forcing yourself to run is not discipline. It’s torture. Celebrating the movement of your body by riding your bike into the wind is joy (and much easier to sustain over the course of your lifetime).

“Love is work made visible.” – Kahlil Gibran

Love your job; love the product your work creates. Having the glue that love for your work provides sustains you through the grunt work aspects of mastery. EVERY job/vocation/chore/task has its slogging phase. Do not kid yourself by thinking that there exists some magical job wherein no crappo tasks occur. However, loving what you do keeps you moving forward. At some point, you will make the realization that the product is secondary and the process is that which is to be celebrated.

If you have ever run long distances, you will be familiar with the “runner’s high,” which is a discharge of endorphins that your body releases when it is pushed beyond a certain limit.

When you commit to a goal and truly love what you’re doing and why you are doing it, the same sort of metamorphosis happens in the figurative/spiritual sense. Love exists in symbiosis with aspiration and inspiration. When these three factors coalesce, discipline morphs into a privilege. You begin to view yourself as a co-creator with your goals. No minutiae is too trivial; no detail too mundane.

You will not deign to tarnish your goals with slapdash, half-assery.

When you ascend to this state, others will marvel at your energy; your output. You will cease to comprehend that you are making sacrifices, because you will have flipped a switch somewhere along the journey.

Discipline will become your default setting.

What do you love? What are the things that cause others to marvel about you? What are things that naturally filter to the top of your awareness? The answers to these questions are all hints, helping you to realize your intrinsic gifts and may be a clue to what you were born to do. Meditate on these things and see where your heart takes you.

——-

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