May 20, 2007

The Apology I Hope You’ve Been Waiting for

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 6:16 pm

I’m Sorry

Do you know the way that we sometimes have conversations in our heads with the people we care about? I’ve been having one with you, who read this blog, for over two months now. It’s a conversation about who we are, who we’ve been, and how much I value you, despite how it might have looked.

Would you listen for a minute while share what that conversation has been about? It’s an apology. It’s also a story. It’s about relationships, responsibilities, and risks.

Here’s what I’d be saying if we sat down across a kitchen table tonight.

I feel badly about how the SOBCon conference took over my blog, and you deserve an explanation about why that happened. Why do I think that? Because it’s not authentically me to choose anything over my readers. But I did.

I wasn’t practicing what I believed . . . wasn’t being true to our relationship. I’m sorry.

I know you see the responsibilities that came with the conference.
I know you see the risks to our friends, the folks who helped make it happen.
I know you see that I had the blog that could make the loudest noise about this first conference.
I chose to put it to work in the hope that conference would make a difference in people’s lives.
I chose to put it to work because five regular people invested their own money to make it happen.

But I didn’t see. I didn’t realize a few things would occur when I did that.

I woke up to find out that I was giving my readers less content, less attention, less of myself. . . . not fair — kind of like shortchanging your family to do a good job at work. Sometimes it has to happen, but it’s never right.

I woke up to find I hadn’t thought about the people who wouldn’t be able to come. That’s the part I am sorriest about. Never in the world would I want someone to feel left out. That breaks my heart. I’m much better than that. I could have found a way to make everyone feel included.

My head and my heart both wanted you to know. As I’ve said, I’ve been having this conversation with you in my head for over two months. I just didn’t know how to fix the situation and needed the train to stop so that I could say what needed saying.

I sincerely hope that you’ve been waiting for this apology, because anything else would be less.

I am sorry for any moment that you might think you weren’t valued. It’s just not true.

Liz's Signature


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65 Comments to “The Apology I Hope You’ve Been Waiting for”

  1. May 20th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
    Ellen Weber said

    Liz, your thoughtful post does not surprise me — since your brain seems hardwired for thoughtfulness. No apologies needed though - as i see it:-)

    Be good to you! It takes huge risk to start any new pathway and it takes energy and talents and support.

    Did I just say support! That’s out here in your friends and fellow writers. Many of us at the moment tend to be running to keep up and it’s a good thing we do what we love to you:-) Yet we SUPPORT you and feel supported by you.

    Your words come with care and with the depth of mind and heart mixed well in great leaders - and I’d like to be first to say…

    LIZ, YOU ARE A HOT TRAILBLAZER - Go for it again and again. Friends like you are realy valued gems and last a lifetime!

  2. May 20th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
    Carma Dutra said

    Liz, you do NOT owe me any apology. However, I do understand why you would think you do. But SOBCon had to take over if it were to be a success. And according to all the feedback it was a huge success and made a big difference in everyone’s lives.

    I didn’t feel bad about not being able to go because I knew that you would make sure we all were going to be able to hear about what happened through you and others.

    This is what you have done. You have created a network of caring and sharing people who will share their SOBCon experience with all their friends and clients.

    Risk? You can’t have life without it.

    I am thankful that I was lead to your blog a few months ago serendiptously. You never hesitated to help me when I asked for it.

    Thank you for thinking about me.

  3. May 20th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Ellen,
    If I’m hardwired for thoughtfulness, you are hardwired for support. :)

    This apology was needed for my self-respect.

    Still it’s great to hear that folks as busy as you have the time to stop by to say that the relationships goes both ways still.

    You are a giver of the highest order. :)

  4. May 20th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
    Mihaela Lica said

    I know. And I love you. No matter what! :)

    Mig

  5. May 20th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
    Mike said

    You don’t owe us a thang.

    We were happy to come along for the ride.

    I’m proud that you took action and made something happen.

    Here’s what to do now -

    Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

    Hopefully you’ll be an inspiration to your readers to do the same thang - take action, make something happen and then do it again and agian and again.

  6. May 20th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Carma,
    Your ability to see beyond yourself just shows what sort of person you are. Thank you for understanding why I think as I do and for hanging in there to find out what we’re all about here.

    You’re part of the family, you know. :)

  7. May 20th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hello Mike!
    Those are lovely words from an old friend. I didn’t know you watching over there.

    It’s nice to know . . . never can tell when I’m going to get that lather rinse repeat in the wrong order. Being clueless and all, it is something I do. :)

    Take action. Make something happen.

    That should be a poster. :)

  8. May 20th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
    Scot Herrick said

    Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I knew there was an end date!

    While I appreciate your need to apologize, I have no need for one. Think about it: this was the first time this type of conference was going to happen. That is no small effort and requires great sacrifice.

    And promotion. Since you, Liz, have been called a “connector,” what better place to promote the conference than right here?

    At work, if we are good, we do an “After Action Review” which is modeled after the Army, of all places.

    What we do is we look at what worked well, what didn’t work well, and what we will do next time.

    I’d do an After Action Review. After all, SOBCon08 will be here before you know it.

    And I’ll be there!

  9. May 20th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
    Steli said

    Wow…I never liked those “apologize posts” for not writing lately on a blog although I felt often enough like writing one myself( had this conversation with my readers in my head a hundred times over the last week).

    I always thought that this kind of post is meaningless - but not when you do it Liz…

    What you wrote is so pure, beautiful and honest - it´s unbelievable!

    Thank you for being such a great inspiration and teacher for me and many others…

  10. May 20th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Mihaela,
    The feeling is mutual. But then you know that. :)

  11. May 20th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Steli,
    Wow! You know, I don’t like those apology posts either — the ones that say “I’ve been busy. I’ll try to do better.” Like you, I couldn’t write one. But I found myself wishing I could sit down to talk to the folks who read my blog one-on-one.

    In fact, I was having this conversation with a few friends about the things that worried me and I kept thinking, “I’m talking to the wrong people.” Eventually I knew I should write this the way I would say it over a cup of coffee with you. So I did.

    Thank you for telling me your response.

  12. May 20th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
    Whitney said

    I cannot accept what I never thought was warranted in the first place, Liz.

    I was thrilled to watch your triumph. We all want to see friends succeed at something they’re PASSIONATE about, and we got to see that happen with you.

    Watching it unfold here on the blog, I added SOBCon08 to my wish list of things to budget and plan for next year (if, that is, it is held next year…no pressure). Maybe next year, I can make the trip work.

    Don’t sweat it…at least not with this particular reader. You and me…it’s all good.

  13. May 20th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
    Robyn McMaster said

    Liz, you said, “I chose to put it to work in the hope that conference would make a difference in people’s lives.”

    Please do consider how much this conference meant to all the people who could be there. I could not attend and though I wish I could have been there to meet all the folks I have come to value through my interactions with them over the past year, you made a great deal of difference in their lives because you worked so hard on their behalf. Please do keep in mind you were doing this for all the bloggers you have come to value and appreciate. Do stop to pat yourself on the back for the amazing ripples that came from all your work.

  14. May 20th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Whitney!
    You know that it was all of us, — those who put the time in at the beginning, those who attended, and those who watched and helped behind the scenes — that made the vision real.

    Whitney, thank you. What a beautiful, unforgettable comment. Both ways, girl. :)

  15. May 20th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Robyn,
    Thank you. I understand the work was well invested. So many did so much and we’ll all be better for it. You betcha!

    I just needed to get the air clear about meeting my own standards. It’s about respecting you and me both. :)

    Thank you for your guidance, your support, and the way you help to keep my wild brain on track.

    Everyone knows that no one did this alone. Everyone was a part of its success. :)

  16. May 20th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
    Dave Schoof: Engaging the Disquiet said

    Liz - I wholeheartedly accept your apology. I honor what felt out of integrity for you. And from my side of the aisle, I enjoyed reading what was the most important thing going on for you. I was unable to attend because of a bit of a crisis, but I heard from Dawud and Adam that the event was a smash. Congratulations! It was a blast to watch this take seed and grow.

    I always learn from you. Something in this was out of alignment for you and you took action. Thank you my friend - again you are cutting a path for us.

  17. May 20th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
    Martin said

    I of course accept your apology. :-)

    But there’s no need for one: you did something you loved and wanted to do (that’s called passion - and you’ve got it!), you did it with great success and for me personally I’ve been more than happy to watch it grow via your blog - in fact you wouldn’t believe how proud of you I am for doing this and doing it with real style.

    Keep on building the SOBcon brand and don’t look back. Who knows, one day it’ll get so big you can take it on the road: first stop: Australia.

  18. May 20th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Martin!
    How wonderful of you to show up! :)

    Thank you. It means a lot to hear those words from an old friend. Proud. I’m so smiling at that.

    Australia. I’m gonna get there. I swear!

    But you’re going to get here first. :)

  19. May 20th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
    Martin said

    I’ll get there - postponed til October,though, which is actually good - gives me more time to get my act together and get real value from this trip - ie: network with as many as possible (LinkedIn is finally coming in handy).

    Hey, I might do an outsiders overview post on SOBcon’07 like I did with PodCamp’06 - good for the portfolio. :-)

    See just being here I leave with ideas. Stop doing that!

  20. May 20th, 2007 at 9:41 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hey, Martin!
    October sounds great! The weather is still good and the champagne is still cold. :)

    I’d love to read what you do with SOBCon 07. Let me know if you want a point to the resources that will get you the most info. :)

    I should watch that, you’re right . . . can’t be giving you ideas. :)

  21. May 20th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
    Rick Cockrum said

    Here, let me wait a few seconds for an apology….

    Okay, apology accepted. :-)

    SOBCon pulled together many people who otherwise may never have physically met. As Vernon said, it was a blogger conference, not a blogging conference. Like this site, and the SOB program, about building relationships, and building up and connecting people. Each has been integral to the others.

    I’m looking forward to next year’s SOBCon. I’ve enjoyed seeing the buildup and the results, feel like I’ve learned something from watching and reading, and hope to do so again.

  22. May 20th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
    Andrew Flusche said

    Hi Liz,

    You definitely don’t owe me an apology. But I will be looking for SOBCon ‘08. After reading about the great time everyone had this year, I definitely have to go next time. But I won’t even say that you “owe” me next year’s conference. I just trust that you’ll make it happen. :)

    Andrew

  23. May 20th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
    GP said

    when you put your heart in it… it’ll take you anywhere… that ’s what you did… what’s 2 apologize for ? Well maybe an apology’s in order since you didnt make the Cessnas happen :) :)

    GP in Montana

  24. May 20th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Rick,
    You know I care a great deal about you and the folks who were here a long time before SOBCon was even an idea.

    Yeah, they all go together and enhance each other. But I never want any one of them to overpower the relationships or the people who are part of what already is connected together.

    It helps to know that there was something there for folks watching and reading. It’s hard to tell when I’m in the middle.

    Wait a few seconds. . . . thank you again. :)

  25. May 20th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Andrew!
    Thanks! What I owe you is a blog worth reading and conference that we’re already preparing for next year. This time we’ll have a shot at more sponsors too. So that the sponsors who loved us in year one won’t have to work so hard either. :)

    I can’t wait to see all of the rest of you there. :)

  26. May 20th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi GP!
    Well, the Cessnas were a problem . . . first year it’s hard to get the Cessna-ish sponsors to take us seriously. Ah but next year . . . could be a different matter. :)

    To tell the truth, though, I was a little afraid of the limo drivers you had lined up. :)

  27. May 20th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
    Rick Cockrum said

    FOr the record, I didn’t feel left out - until just now when you and GP started talking about private planes and limos. But, no Cessna and scary limo drivers. I’m still safe not feeling left out. ;-)

  28. May 20th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Rick,
    I thought about that for sec . . . Sorry there. GP had arranged that we’d take Cessnas from Chicago to Montana and then limos to her ranch from the airport. SOBCon07 GP Style.

    I dropped the ball on that one. :)

  29. May 20th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Dave,
    Sorry your comment #16 got stuck in moderation and languished there. I’m still not fully back on my game from this infection that’s raging in my jaw.

    Thank you for hearing me and accepting my apology. It just didn’t seem right that I had to start looking away from the readers who are this blog. You deserve to know why. For me, to act as if it didn’t happen when I felt it would be untrue. And it’s always a fine occasion to tell people you value them.

    More and more I find when things are worrisome the best answer is to reveal the stone in my shoe. :)

  30. May 21st, 2007 at 1:50 am
    Yoav said

    Hey Liz,

    I’ve learned that these kind of events helps you seperate the true friends from your group of aquintances. Examine the interactions you had with people over the last couple of months. Those that changed their mode into “support mode” are your friends. They understood that you had this project you really wanted to do and because of their friendship, this also became a project they wanted to be successful. I have a sneaky suspicion that a lot of your readers transformed into “support mode”.

    As for the rest - they don’t matter. They belong to the takers group. I know this is kind of a rough attitude, but the loyalty you have for your readers and friends must be mirrored, otherwise they will take and take until you have nothing more to give (at this point the takers will up and leave).

    So an apology - what apology, I am proud to have been a part (smallish as it may be) of SOBCon07, in spite of the fact that I couldn’t attend.

    Thank you!

  31. May 21st, 2007 at 3:39 am
    Sanne Roemen said

    Thanks for the apology. I appreciate the gesture and I understand where it comes from. I was not waiting for it though as I was admiring the way you gave focus and attention to SOBCon. It deserved that, otherwise it would not have been such a succes. And taking a look over your shoulder made me want to put everything to work to try to be there the next time (i’m from Europe… so…). Keep up the good work and the love.

  32. May 21st, 2007 at 4:45 am
    Lillie Ammann said

    Liz,
    I never thought you were neglecting your readers. I’ve enjoyed reading about SOBCon - it made me feel connected even though I couldn’t physically participate.

  33. May 21st, 2007 at 6:21 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Yoav!
    You wise man. Thank you for your perspective. Of course you are right and your words say it so well. We can all learn how to be a friend from your comment.

    You were more than a smallish part. Thank you for that too. :)

  34. May 21st, 2007 at 6:23 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Sanne,
    Thank you. My gratitude is in my eyes.

    I hope to meet you there next year.

    The love will always be there coming your way. :)

  35. May 21st, 2007 at 6:26 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Lillie!
    I’m the sensitive sort — obviously over-sensitive, sometimes. :)

    Yet I would rather be than ever have you or anyone think I was taking a relationship for granted, or worse . . . going off on a lark and leaving folks behind.

    I want folks to feel connected. Thank you for saying how you felt. It’s nice to know that you did. :)

  36. May 21st, 2007 at 6:52 am
    Debbie Call said

    Liz - like everyone else, I am in no need of an apology. You act as a beacon of light for us all. Your apologizing does raise the bar - and that is what you do so well - to be transparent, and strive to put your readers first. Continue to play BIG - we all benefit from it.

  37. May 21st, 2007 at 6:55 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Debbie!
    Thank you for coming by to say that.

    I’m doing my best to make it about you guys and you keep turning it around. I’m getting dizzing.

    Transparent is the best color for a blog. :)

  38. May 21st, 2007 at 7:19 am
    Dawud Miracle said

    Liz,

    You did it again…you showed me another reason why I feel so blessed to call you my friend.

    Thank you for being honest, for being transparent and for being authentic. We use these terms all the time to describe ‘blogging.’ Yet you continue to teach all of us how to to be/live this way. How? Just by being you.

    I love you, my friend.

  39. May 21st, 2007 at 7:29 am
    ME Strauss said

    Dawud,
    Dear, dear friend, I say with tears in my eyes, I love you back. How give any of you any less?

  40. May 21st, 2007 at 8:06 am
    Mike said

    I’ve never missed a post Liz, I just got tired of Akismet hell and quit commenting.

    That comment was worth the fight, so I tried to leave one and was delighted to see it appear, instead of going to Akismet-hell.

    Maybe it’s fixed and I can join in again.

  41. May 21st, 2007 at 8:16 am
    Robyn said

    Hi Mike, my comments to Liz kept going to Askimet purgatory too. All of a sudden I remembered that I had a WordPress Name and I hadn’t been using it. Thankfully, I can comment by using my WordPress name. Might that be your difficulty?

  42. May 21st, 2007 at 8:18 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Mike!
    I didn’t think you went far . . . I don’t blame you about the Akismet thing. It’s so funky and a pain.

    Some days, you are too fun to get lost there. I’m sorry for the times I missed you. Too many other times you have made my day. :)

  43. May 21st, 2007 at 8:19 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Robyn,
    Thank you for solving that problem that way. You’re so thoughtful. :)

  44. May 21st, 2007 at 8:50 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Liz,
    You are the most generous host I know… you are always tending to our needs and helping us feel comfortable here. I, for one, always feel very welcomed here. And like a good host, sometimes you need to tend to someone/something else for a bit. I know you will return. That is your nature.

    I understand your need to apologize if you feel you weren’t giving your all to the relationship. Apology accepted (though not necessary).

    I trust our friendship and know that when one of us is not fully engaged in the moment, we will be back. :)

    You, my friend, continue to offer so much of yourself here in this blog and I admire you for that!

  45. May 21st, 2007 at 8:53 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Kirsten!
    Thank you for having faith in me. That’s confidence I won’t ever let down. You, all of you, are the reason I come here every day.

    I get so much from you all, I’d be silly not to show up. :)

  46. May 21st, 2007 at 9:14 am
    Kirsten Harrell, Psy.D. said

    Having faith in someone is part of friendship.
    I (and I’m sure the rest of the regulars here) get so much from you and the community, it would be silly for me not to show up! :)

    SOBCon07 was an important part of bringing everyone together and closer. So, even though I couldn’t make it, I know that this community is stronger than ever and that feels good!

    I hope you are taking care of yourself and your infection… be good to yourself. :)

  47. May 21st, 2007 at 9:15 am
    Marti said

    I was thrilled to read the posts pre-SOBCon! Your enthusiasm and generosity of spirit shine through in whatever you write about. I wasn’t able to attend, but that certainly wasn’t your fault! I felt more informed about the whole event from your posts - which made me very happy!

    I’ve felt the need to apologize a lot lately…I’m rarely able to get online due to personal issues, and I feel like I’ve let my friends down. I hope they understand.

    You are a kind and thoughtful person. The very act of wanting to apologize shows how caring you are.

    Love you.

  48. May 21st, 2007 at 9:17 am
    ME Strauss said

    Aw Kirsten,
    Thank you for reminding me . . . I have a phone call to make about that infection.

    A sign of friendship — how I like that. :)

  49. May 21st, 2007 at 9:19 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Marti!
    Maybe we were born with the apology gene! I’ll have to call you about my theory on that. (Oh no! Liz has another theory — look out!)

    Of course, we understand. How could we possibly think that was you being neglectful? You’re the one who always shows up. :)

  50. May 21st, 2007 at 9:36 am
    Robert Hruzek said

    Howdy, Liz! I’m reminded of Shakespear’s famous line, “To thine own self be true”. If you felt you had to do it for yourself, then by all means do it.

    But during this time, I never felt anything was missing from the content of Successful-Blog. After all, everything that went into SOBCon was content, too.

    And as you can see, all your friends (and we’re ALL your friends!) support you with whole hearts and ready hands!

  51. May 21st, 2007 at 9:38 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Robert!
    Thank you. Wow! I’m one lucky writer girl. And now I even have a writer guy quoting Shakespear to me. :)

  52. May 21st, 2007 at 10:02 am
    Karin H. said

    “I chose to put it to work in the hope that conference would make a difference in people’s lives.”

    You did. Simple. Period ;-)

    Karin H.

  53. May 21st, 2007 at 10:04 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin!
    Thank you.
    Gotcha. Pretty soon. I’m going to be apologizing for apologizing. :)

    No, no, not really. :)

  54. May 21st, 2007 at 11:32 am
    Mike said

    So things are going to get better than they’ve been over the last couple months? I guess my birthday has been moved up this year! ;-)

  55. May 21st, 2007 at 11:49 am
    GP said

    aha! the truth is revealed… liz was good to go with the cessnas… but she thought the limos were of the 4-footed variety… Look at this way, if I’d put you on Picken… trust me.. you would have been FIRST at the SOBCon…no betting required. :)

    GP in Montana

  56. May 21st, 2007 at 12:54 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Ah Mike!
    You sure know how to turn a girl’s head. :)

  57. May 21st, 2007 at 12:56 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi GP!
    Okay I’ll go with the “FIRST” as my placement or should I say that Picken would win? My only question is first what? First to fall off a horse? :)

  58. May 21st, 2007 at 3:33 pm
    Bob Glaza said

    …and I’d bet first to get back on that horse after falling off :) - jeepers, Liz - I didn’t expect to read a string of 57 comments…but here it is, finally at the end of them - just like you to care so much for each of your readers & visitors :) Care being one of your many endearing qualities. Along with generosity! Yeah, some of us would have dug being at SOBcon…but stuff happens…some even camp further away than Montana ;) - but through the magic of writing and posting there were times it “almost felt like being there” - thank you for reminding all of us the path to the good and happy life is inclusive of everyone!

  59. May 21st, 2007 at 3:51 pm
    Easton Ellsworth said

    Liz, thank you for exemplifying thoughtfulness here. If only more people were like you, this world would be a better place. This post merits multiple reads like few others I’ve ever read.

  60. May 21st, 2007 at 5:07 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Jeepers Bob!
    No one expects you to read 57 comments about me . . . that’s gotta be . . . well, you know. :)

    Thanks for telling me that you sometimes felt like you were there. :)

    It feels good that folks know that we tried to include you.

  61. May 21st, 2007 at 5:10 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Easton,
    I’m not sure what’s so special about this post, except that it comes straight from my heart.

    Thank you for what you say about it. From you, that means so much. If you see something, it must be there, because you are one who is true like the wind.

  62. May 21st, 2007 at 5:16 pm
    GP said

    ah being there… you would have been there (at SOBCON)FIRST being on picken… having been on the racetrack in her earlier years and not showing much sign of slowing down… :) Actually a trait in her i’ve come to love actually…

    and like she is of the heart for me.. folks can tell that you’re of the heart as well

    GP in Montana

  63. May 21st, 2007 at 5:16 pm
    Wendy Piersall said

    You pulled off an amazing conference with even more amazing results. I disagree that you have anything to apologize for on your blog. Your readers may have gotten a lot of info on SOBCon, but you never did it at the expense of the rest of your work. You ALWAYS put up other stuff, and you also gave the people who couldn’t be there a free sneak peek of what they missed!

    Just because you talked about SOBCon doesn’t mean for one second you stopped adding value.

  64. May 21st, 2007 at 5:19 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Well, GP,
    It sounds to me like we need to make SOBCon 07 the Movie . . . the story of a writer girl and her horse. And when all of the riding parts come you need to ride Picken. :)

  65. May 21st, 2007 at 5:22 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Oh Wendy!
    Thank you, you are a crusader and valiant friend to have. I love you so. I did a lot to do what you describe. I’m not sure that I got there as often as I’d like. :)

    It’s nice to have another opinion, especially yours. :)

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