New Year’s Resolutions, No! How to Make Positive Changes that Have Meaning and Stick

Filed Under Business Life, Productivity, Successful Blog | 11 Comments

Never Made One Yet

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The first time I encountered the term, New Year’s Resolution, was in the comic strip, Peanuts, by Charles M. Shultz. I was 8, maybe 9, years old, and Peanuts was the top comic in the Chicago Tribune. As I went through the comic strips that day, making resolutions was a recurring theme in them.

I found the idea of New Year’s Resolutions curious, and I wondered why I’d never heard of them. I sought out the only available expert I knew. I asked my mom.

My mom answered, “Because most folks make resolutions and forget them the very next day. That’s just not how most people change.”

I can still tap into the relief I felt when she said that. My imagination had made this ferocious picture of what a resolution was. I had seen myself climbing into a splintery, wooden shipping crate labeled “FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH NO HOPE OF EVER GETTING OUT.”

Thanks to that conversation about New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve never made made one yet.

New Year’s Resolutions a New Approach

On Open Comment Night December 5th, the subject of New Year’s Resolutions came up. We agreed that they don’t work as a list. Christine Kane explained her approach was to choose a word. Ben took that idea back as the Absolute Best Way and described it on his Instigator Blog.

Boy, I sure like their ideas a lot!

But I need more than that to execute — if I want to make a positive change that will stay with me. So if Ben and Christine don’t mind, I’m going to expand on the spirit of their ideas, knowing they already “get” it.

How to Make Positive Changes that Have Meaning and Stick

Changing habits is hard to do. The hard part is getting the new ones to stick. It’s easier when we approach our habits the way we approach our tasks and our skills — knowing our goal, not taking on too much, and making use of the “do over” rule when we need it.

Here’s how to make your positive changes stick.

  1. Choose one thing to change. One thing done is always better than 12 things started. If you’re working on gratitude, you might narrow it to saying thank you and meaning it. If you’re working on snacking you might replace one snack food with a healthful one or one time that you snack with another activity.


  2. Write your choice down and define it as an objective. I will say thank you out loud and give a brief reason for my gratitude when folks do things simple for me, such as listen to my ideas, and I’ll note their response. Now you know it is that you’re going for and you’ve got a clear objective.


  3. Make it measurable and make a measurement goal that increases. The measure can be simple. It might be how many smiles a day you get. Without a measure though, a goal is easy to lose track of or forget. How will you know if you’re getting better without a measurement?


  4. Check in at the end of the day to see how you did. Record your measurement and compare it to yesterday. Plan for tomorrow, but don’t think about next year — that’s a lifetime away.


    Forgive yourself when you slip or have a bad day. Everyone does that. Don’t give up — with that response no one ever would learn to bicycle, skate, or be a leader in any sense. Pick up where you left off, knowing the practice you already have will make the forward momentum that much easier.

    Celebrate your successes when you have a great day. When you live up to the change you are going for, let yourself know that by doing something really cool with a friend, taking in a great movie, CD, or book, or whatever else feels like a reward.


  5. When the change is fully a part of you, go on back to choose another positive to add to what you do.

Changing habits is like taking on new skills. We need to make room to learn, see progress, dust off our mistakes, and celebrate our successes. We’ve been doing that since we went to school. It’s what learning is.

Take a word from Christine and Ben, don’t make a resolution. Make a change that is meaningful.

When you make a positive change that sticks, other positive things will happen too. You’ll also be changing the world just a bit.

New Year’s Resolutions. Positive changes in the world. Have you thought about this? The quickest way to change other folks’ behavior is to change our own?

Thank you for that.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

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Melissa’s Story

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Her name is Melissa. Her resume came in a stack of 150 resumes. She was my only interview. She had it on paper — an top-notch education in Instructional Design — and proved it in person — intelligence, enthusiasm, and willingness to learn. Melissa was a perfect match for the entry-level editor’s job I had to offer. She lived up to it ever day and became a dynamite writer and editor.

While Melissa was training, she and I would meet weekly. When we got to month three, she came in with a problem. “I just can’t get my writing done.” she said. “I get myself and my workspace ready, and then I’m stuck with nothing.”

I asked her to tell me about her day.

Her description wasn’t surprising.

Melissa was working in the wrong order.

Very often without realizing, we send the muse packing. We build our own writer’s block instead — simply by how we order our day.

After a short conversation, Melissa solved her problem. She made one change and never had an issue with getting stuck again.

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No Worries

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I've been thinking . . .
When I was traveling to other countries, what I was most likely to bring home were a tiny change in my accent and a word or phrase that became mine forever. I also bought lots of books and an occasional other thing, but who knows where they went?

Considering my love of words, I think I ended up with a nice collection of souveniers.

One word I got from the Brits was Brilliant! It’s a lovely word for describing something wonderful and magical.

From the Italians, I carried home a pair Prego, Grazie. How much more musical could welcome and thank you sound? I want a life filled with the two of them.

In OZ, the land of the Australians, I couldn’t leave without No Worries. They’ve become my weekend words.

“No Worries.”

I worked out a while back that worrying about things I can’t change doesn’t make stuff any better and doesn’t make me feel good either. In fact, worrying makes me cranky. I get to feeling sorry for myself.

Talk about a way to blow weekend — being cranky ranks right up there.

So I subscribe to “No Worries” weekends.

(I have my meltdowns on Thursdays, if I really need one.)

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Help! I Need an Editor — Too Many Choices and Only One Manuscript

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What Do Editors Do Anyway?

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When I got my first job as an editor, I had no idea the kinds of things I would be doing. Nor did I have a clue how hard it would be to answer thi question.

What is it that editors do? And what’s a proofreader?
When I’m asked in passing, my answer is usually not too helpful.

I tell my mother-in-law I write mystery novels and that the proofreader checks that the solution really works.

Then I quickly change the subject. Explaining what editors do is like trying to tell a nonblogger about blogging.

The secret is that editors edit about 35% of the time. They also write, rewrite, check changes, go to meetings, discuss with authors, writers, and other editors, problem solve, and work with illustrators, photographers, and designers, among a variety of other things, such as keeping track of the incredible paper trail a single volume can create.

On top of that not every editor does the same kind of editing. Quite frankly it’s a bit of a wonder that other editors can explain exactly what it is we all do.

Still, if you’re looking to publish a work with your name on it, you’ll want a professional editor to look the piece over for you. It’s a matter of credibility — for you and your brand.

So maybe knowing a little more about editors –

More than just the fact that editors were good at term papers in high school.

– isn’t such a bad idea.

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Life, Weekends, Memories — Finding Time for the Time of Your Life

Filed Under Business Life, Motivation/Inspiration, SOB Business, Successful Blog | 28 Comments

I've been thinking . . .
One Friday ritual that happens in offices is that people ask What are you doing this weekend? I’ve never been good at small talk in general, but I had to study to answer that question.

I kept a list of responses that sounded somewhat normal.

“I’m going for quiet and relaxation.”

“I think a good book is in order.”

“I have an appointment with my pillow.”

“I’m just so happy to be having a weekend.”

You might note that all of my answers basically say the same thing that my friend, KB, once said, “Liz doesn’t do weekends.”

I used to say, “Hey, I made my quota of decisions at the office. The last thing I want to do is come home to make more of them — decide what to do, where to go, what to eat, where to eat it, when to go there, what to wear.”

So instead I’d stay home and let life happen.

Sometimes life happens in ways worth remembering. Most often it doesn’t. Time just passes.

That’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. I don’t make plans — too many options. I can talk myself out of almost anything.

“Do something.”

“Do what?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

“How about this. Too crowded.”

“This? Too expensive.”

“This? Too far. . . . too early . . . too late . . . too extravagant . . . too boring . . . too edgy . . . too too.”

I think I should stay home.

I care more about who I do things with than what I do. So when someone suggests anything, I go. Most cool things I’ve done have been because someone invited me.

That sure is a passive way to live life, waiting for it to come to me.

I’m getting back in the driver’s seat. Plans are now part of my personal navigation. I’m finding time for the time of my life.

Life isn’t made of weekends. It’s made of memories.

I’ve decided it’s time to start making some outstanding ones.

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