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33 Twitterers Answer: How Do You Recognize a LifeLong Friend?

August 21, 2010 by Liz

The LANGUAGE of SOCIAL MEDIA

Words have a deep effect on
how we interpret and interact with the world.
The words we use and how we define them
reveal our interests, concerns, and values.
This series explores the words of social media.

twittericons

friends

We meet people in all facets of our lives online and offline. We meet our online friends offline at gatherings, conferences and meetups. We invite people we know offline to connect with us at sites where we spend our time online as well.

People online and offline make up our communities and the networks that provide our learning and our support. We call these people our colleagues, our coworkers, our families, our acquaintances, our pals, buddies, BFFs and our friends. But occasionally some one in that community of people we reach out to bring closer a smaller group stands out because we begin to know they’re in for the longer haul.

We call those people friends for life. They are the people for whom we would drop everything and fly around the world to help solve their problem. They are the ones for whom we’re always ready to answer the 2 a.m. call.

Recently on Twitter, I asked this question … 33 people answered.

How do you know a lifelong friend when you meet one?

  1. @ashleykingsley
    The way yoiu can laugh together.
  2. @@inyourfacebook
    similar sense of humor/values
  3. @AbbieF
    immediate connection. If you have to ask might not be.
  4. @ashleykingsley
    The way yoiu can laugh together.
  5. @IsCool
    You don’t.
  6. @Chris_Eh_Young
    I imagine that would be a singularly self-evident revelation. 🙂
  7. @those2girls
    YUP RT @Chris_Eh_Young It’s something U feel.
  8. @cdnmortgage
    It really is! RT @Chris_Eh_Young: It’s something you feel.
  9. @Illig
    I imagine that would be a singularly self-evident revelation. 🙂
  10. @swoodruff
    I can sometimes intuit that level of connection when I meet someone. Lifelong friend status takes time.
  11. @mkohpotts
    the difference between a friend for life and a friend for now
  12. @ISLfinancial
    You don’t have to say one word but if you do – it is the right word!
  13. @Miss_Dazey
    You just know, Liz! 😉 // Sometimes you just know a good friend by the way she tweets or blogs.
  14. @EmmaLTaylor
    you don’t always know which is why you should give them a chance
  15. @rmclin
    When you are active in a relationship for life. The ones that are there for you when you need help unconditionally.
  16. @GlendaWH
    You just know, Liz! 😉
  17. @ScottMonty
    To me, it’s about being able to have differing views but with the same value system.
  18. @Joe Manna
    when you can call or txt them anytime and they’re there for you. (And vice-versa.)
  19. @asandford
    You never know if someone might be a forever friend. I try to treat every friend as if I’ll have them forever!
  20. @debng
    They don’t ask me who I’m with.
  21. @esgarg
    Intuition.
  22. @debmorello
    I think you just know. The give and take the same, values, the same?
    p.s. unconditional
  23. @tabarnhart
    it’s the secret handshake.
  24. @slines
    Some times u don’t have 2 meet them in person; u know they care
  25. @CateTV
    when they positively talk about/lift/promote someone else up other than themselves during first conversation w/o asking
  26. @mkohpotts
    I don’t know. I have been wrong enough.
  27. @morgetz
    It’s immediate recognition of friendship.
  28. @Briddick
    I think you just know. Esp when you can talk to someone for hours and it seems like time flies!
  29. @TimJackson
    sometimes you don’t- which is kinda wonderful. Sometimes it happens over time & w/o warning. Others- there’s a spark, like love. . . . and I have some lifelong friends who I’ve yet to ever meet in person- modern friendship is an amazingly bizarre blessing.
  30. @SuzeMuse
    I walk away with a smile on my face.
  31. @lyksumlikrish
    Easy. You can’t stop the conversation!
  32. @ReallyJeannie
    When it feels like a miracle.
  33. @JasonFalls
    The fact they give me $1000 … or an open mouth kiss. Heh.

Lifelong friendship is a bond of trust and loyalty. We communicate with our lifelong friends without the filters that make us stop to consider what they might be thinking about us. I am proud to follow all 33 of these folks on Twitter. @LizStrauss

I’ve made a TweepML list of 33 Twitterers Who Recognize a LifeLong Friend in case you want to follow them too.

How do you recognize a lifelong friend?

SEE ALSO:
What Is Social Media?
What Is Social Networking?

Got more to add? C’mon let’s talk.

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Get your best voice in the conversation. Buy my eBook.

Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Motivation, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, friendship, LinkedIn, Twitter

SOB Business Cafe 08-20-10

August 20, 2010 by Liz

SB Cafe

Welcome to the SOB Cafe

We offer the best in thinking — articles, books, podcasts, and videos about business online written by the Successful and Outstanding Bloggers of Successful Blog. Click on the titles to enjoy each selection.

The Specials this Week are

PR Squared
Andrea had been with us for 3 years, and in that brief amount of time — since she was a rockstar — she climbed the ranks from quiet, mousy intern to Senior Account Executive.

Achieving Balance or How We Lost Andrea


Web Worker Daily
Is there an area of your life or business where you just can’t seem to get a grip? You try and try, but can never seem to fix it.

What’s Stopping You?


Riding on Dragons
For years I believed something I was told by experts that now appears to be wrong. Which brings up lots of questions.

What It Takes To Change My Mind


Pick the Brain
Have you ever wondered why some people are able to weather financial upheaval without breaking a sweat and have confidence to spare when it comes to taking risks such as starting their own business or taking a year off to travel without an enormous safety net?

Why Optimists Prosper


Servant of Chaos
So, it is with some joy I came across Heather LeFevre’s Planner Survey for 2010. It covers the industry from top to tail – sharing details of salaries, roles, locations and so on. It captures what planners think of their jobs, why they stay, why they go – and who they think is doing the best work. It also lists a bunch of people who the community rate – not because they are famous, but because they get on with the challenge of producing good work.

Respect for the Community Builders


Related ala carte selections include

Barry Moltz
Congratulations Barry!

The Rules for Business Partners


over. Stay as long as you like. No tips required. Comments appreciated.

–ME “Liz” Strauss

Buy the Insider’s Guide to Online Conversation.

I’m a proud affiliate of

third-tribe-marketing

Filed Under: SOB Business, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, Great Finds, LinkedIn, small business

Don’t miss a great hire – be careful what you ask for

August 19, 2010 by patty

by Patty Azzarello

cooltext466496263_leadership
barometer

Creative Thinking vs. Job Skills

This a story I first read about 15 years ago in an airline magazine. If you google “baramoter story” you’ll find mixed opinions on the source of it, but it a great story worth sharing.

Solve this problem…

This was a science class and there was a homework problem which was the following:

If you needed to find out the height of a tall building using only a barometer, how would you do it?

The “correct” answer involved measuring the air pressure at the top of the building and on the ground, and using the difference in air pressure to calculate the height of the building.  Kids that used that approach and got the math right were marked correct and given full credit.

But there were two other answers that stood out to me, that the teacher marked wrong, with no credit.

I would have marked these correct and given these two students a job!

The first “wrong” answer:

One student said he would take the barometer to the top of the building, drop it off, count how many seconds it takes to hit the ground, and calculate the height based on the time of the fall.

This is probably at least as accurate an answer as using the air pressure based approach.

The second “wrong” answer – even better!

This student said, I would find the general manager of the building and say to him. “If you tell me how tall this building is, I will give you this barometer.”  – Fantastic!

Not only did this solution meet the requirements of solving the problem, it was likely to give a far more accurate answer than the correct answer based on air pressure!

What a shame these two students were marked wrong. These are precisely the kind of creative thinking skills that help people solve important problems when the by-the-book way does not work.

Be careful what you ask for

I have made many hiring mistakes by looking for job skills — by keeping my interview only to the spec of what needed to be done by the person in the next 6-12 months.

People would come in with very impressive experience and just the right skills to do the job that needed to be done right now.  These hires are so tempting because you can see how they will immediately take some pain away.

But, what about when the job changes?

But more often than not, when the world changes around them, they get stuck.  They don’t adapt easily.  They need to find another job that matches their skills vs. being able to step up to do the new job that needs to be done.

Hire Fast Learners

The most valuable hires are the ones that can do the job today, but also can learn and adapt. You are far more likely to hire a star if you ask questions that get at how the person thinks, and hire creative thinkers that are fast learners.

In your interview process you need to try and assess how much potential the person has to learn, and judge how fast they will grow.  People with the most room for growth and the most acceleration (smarts and ambition) are your best hires.

This approach is valuable from hiring summer interns, to top executives.  I have used it at every level, once I learned that sticking to the job spec doesn’t work very well.

Some approaches…

1. Puzzles: Actually give someone a puzzle to solve.  Some people will get annoyed and refuse to engage,  some will give up very quickly, and others will visibly start thinking and working it out.  They will tell you how they are thinking about approaching the problem.  They will ask you more questions about it. Hire the person who is doing something with the problem.

2. Stories: Ask for stories about how the world was different when they first got into a job compared to how it is now.  What did they think needed to be done?  What new ideas did they come up with?  What changes did they drive?  If they just did the job as-is for a few years, and did not grow the responsibility or usefulness of their role, they are not a top hire.

3. Actual Problems: Tell them a situation that you are facing that needs a solution.  Ask them to talk through how they would approach it.  The ones that say, I don’t know yet, I’d need to get into the job first, are not your top people.  The ones that ask a bunch more questions and say, of course I’d need to listen and learn more, but from what I know right now this is what I think… and start offering insights, have stronger creative thinking skills.

What clever interview techniques have you used to get the best hires?

Please share the great questions, puzzles, problems or other approaches you’ve used to learn more about your candidates’ creative thinking skills. I’d love to hear your ideas in the comment box.

—–
Patty Azzarello works with executives where leadership and business challenges meet. She has held leadership roles in General Management, Marketing, Software Product Development and Sales, and has been successful in running large and small businesses. She writes at The Azzarello Group Blog. You’ll find her on Twitter as @PattyAzzarello

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Filed Under: management, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, creative-thinking, LinkedIn, Patty Azzarello

What A Timeshare Presentation And Blogging Have In Common

August 18, 2010 by Guest Author

cooltext455576688_blogging
By Terez Howard
When I went on vacation a couple weeks ago, my family was stopped on the street by a woman trying to get people to sign up for timeshares. We had no interest in purchasing a timeshare, but we agreed to listen to the presentation for the free gift cards to restaurants at the Virginia Beach resort.
After listening to the sales pitch and taking a tour of the condo we could have bought, the saleswoman asked us what we thought.

“We like what you have. The accommodations are beautiful,” we told her. “But we don’t see the value for our family.”

We just took a ten-night vacation and paid nothing for our rooms in three different hotels. Two of those nights were spent with my brother, but the rest were paid with credit card points we had accumulated.

After we revealed our travel secret, I wondered how this salesperson was going to try to hook us. Was she going to try to convince us that we could get a cheaper package? Was she going to say that the rooms we stay in are sub-par compared to their condos? What was her bait going to be?

Instead, she said that if people were as smart as we were, there would be no need for timeshares. She gave us our gift cards, and we walked.

What does this presentation and blogging have in common?

Well, a blogger can have a life-changing message or a time-saving product to share on her blog. Personally, I believe in the way that my family goes on trips. It works very well for us, and we save hundreds of dollars.

This is the bottom line: It’s not for everyone.

That saleswoman was willing to admit that their timeshares did not compare with what we do. To spend hundreds of dollars each month or to spend nothing? There’s no contest.

We bloggers get very passionate about our subjects, and we should not be afraid to bite the bullet and stand out. However, we do not and will not always have the best idea or product for every person in our market. We have to be open to admit that we do not have the best in every instance.

Humility is a virtue

I know that patience is a virtue, but I think that being humble is necessary to a being successful blogger. Some people might just be in it for the gift cards, like I was. In other words, some readers might want your valuable information and not want to buy into the whole package. That does not mean you are a failure.

It actually could mean the exact opposite. I will never forget this timeshare company. My husband and I decided that we would do our research to see if we could gain a profit from owning a timeshare.

If your blog is unforgettable, you have done your job.

 

—
Terez Howard operates TheWriteBloggers, a professional blogging service which builds clients’ authority status and net visibility. She regularly blogs at Freelance Writing Mamas . You’ll find her on Twitter @thewriteblogger

Thanks, Terez!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Filed Under: Successful Blog, Writing Tagged With: bc, blogging, LinkedIn, Terez Howard

The Crucial Differences in Reach, Outreach, and Reaching Out

August 17, 2010 by Liz

Reach?

cooltext443809437_relationships

Changes, variations, mutations, and interpretations have arisen around business “reach.”

Marketing, I think, can be divided into two eras.

The first, the biggest, the baddest and the most impressive was the era in which marketers were able to reach the unreachable. Ads could be used to interrupt people who weren’t intending to hear from you. PR could be used to get a story to show up on Oprah or in the paper, reaching people who weren’t seeking you out.

Sure, there were exceptions to this model (the Yellow Pages and the classifieds, for example), but generally speaking, the biggest wins for a marketer happened in this arena.

We’re watching it die. — Seth’s Blog, Reaching the Unreachable, May 03, 2007

Reach, as in Circulation

In the world of getting a message out to many people, the word reach has traditional meant “circulation,” how many unique people will receive the message we send out. That number has never been truly quantifiable because …

Basically reach is about broadcasting.

  • Consumption of the message is not guaranteed. We all know about TV and TIVO, and newspapers people don’t buy but read … but perhaps a more interesting example is SETI has been broadcasting active Intersellar messages since the early 1970s. No one knows if any have yet been received, decoded, or understood.

    How do you know anyone is listening?

  • Communication is uncertain. We can’t measure whether the message sent is the one received unless we check. The audience may consume a message other than the intended message. The words carry different meaning in different cultures and for different individuals. Voice, tone, word choice all work together within the context of the receiver’s experience and emotional relationship to the message content. A great example is the effect of the Motrin ad on the Motrin Moms.

    How do you know the audience received the message that you sent?

  • Response is unclear. Once the data requires testing samples, the very act of surveying flattens our understanding of the human response. We lose the singularities that add deeper meaning to what moves individuals to act as they do. The trending line graph that shows your message is having an effect doesn’t explain why that’s so. The particularities and individual responses have been leveled out.

    How do you know for certain that you can repeat the same response?

Reach is NOT the number of people who actually are exposed to and actually consume the message, but rather the number who have the OPPORTUNITY to see or hear the message. It might be described as absolute number (1,284,793 million) Twitters, a metaphor (the population of the state of California) or a portion of demographic (74% of the male population between 18-24).

Whether the reach was effective might be a function of time spent with the message or times exposed to the message.

Reach goes broad and far, but establishes minimal relationship between the sender and individual receivers who can inform the process. Relying solely on reach / circulation will always be shooting in the dark.

It’s naive to confuse the act of reaching to actually touching an unknown someone’s mind and heart.

Blogger Outreach to Spread a Message

In the place where Marketing and PR cross the social media, the term, blogger outreach has come to mean identifying bloggers who reach the same audience you do with your products and enlisting (or pitching) them to talk or blog about your products and services to their communities. Done well blogger outreach has the power of moving a message from one trusted friend who knows many to a group of trusting friends who may tell even more. Done less well it can be someone who is simply broadcasting in a new way.

To my mind, blogger outreach is the art of asking people to evangelize to their networks for you. It’s crucial that such things include three things for the message to come through whole, authentic, and as intended.

  • To ensure the message is consumed, the blogger-brand match has to be true and lasting. An authentic message spreads more quickly and more deeply though trust agents who have a mutual commitment to the brand and its values. Campaigns and contests that go quickly don’t really seal the connection between the audience and the brand. It’s easy for a gift meant as a ‘thank you,” to be turned in to an expectation if it’s delivered in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong way.
    Unsophisticated bloggers with no P&L experience can find the attention heady, competitive, and begin to over-value their input. The act of outreach has to be a relationship — an example of your message in action — not a single date meant to get your message out.

    How do you identify the right partnerships in your “grassroots” blogger outreach efforts? How do you invest in bloggers as partners rather than as channels of distribution?

  • Every outreach interaction has to underscore the credibility of the message. Bloggers are experts at the needs of their communities. Great bloggers have earned their reputation and influence by being filters and standards of visible authenticity. Those bloggers can extend and enhance the power of your message.

    The right bloggers understand the businesses that are a good match for them and their readers in product, service, and philosophy. Tap into their expertise, rather than just a blog post, and you’ll have lasting value and a relationship.

    How do you demonstrate your message by the way you bring partners into your brand?

  • Authentic, relevant experiences inspire messages that communities want to share. Many companies simply hand a product to a blogger and ask for a review. It takes more creative time to develop an experience and a community that connects people around a product, however, those memorable experiences show people how products and services naturally fit into their lives. The time invested in putting things where people need them and use them is appreciated. The Tweet to Drive program that GM is doing in Chicago has fabulous potential for doing just that.

    How do you use all of your creative resources to make your outreach experiences most relevant and authentic?

Leaders are learners who let people participate in building things no one of us could build alone. Don’t just reach out, but bring bloggers into your brand if you want them to understand, own, and protect your message, to stand up for your intentions. Then when a message gets misinterpreted Actively investing time online and off listening to each other and sharing expertise and you will give them reason and opportunity to own, protect, defend what you build.

Reach Out and Touch Someone …

The power of connecting people to people is not a new thing. In 1979, AT&T needed to soften it’s image as a possible monopoly and reconnect with it’s customers in a more human way, Ken, D’Ambrosio, Marshall McLuhan, and N.W. Ayer all contributed to what became the famous “Reach Out and Touch Someone” media campaign. Reach out and touch someone …

Though the AT&T commercial is still broadcast and still the idea of reaching out to touch someone is a great example of what a traditional campaign in as part of an integrated marketing effort might look like today. It shows people connecting because of the experience a product allows.

Reaching out to connect is the goal.

  • Clear messages reach out to connect minds, hearts, and lives. A great message connects minds, touches hearts, and has meaning in people’s lives. It’s about what moves them; not about how we want them to move. Build a message like that and folks will join you.
  • Clear messages get consumed and passed on when they are about the audience. We can grow our businesses by understanding that it has now become easier than ever before to connect. We can to reach out to find great minds who have been where we’re going and invite them to participate in what we’re doing in new and exciting ways that benefit us both.
  • Clear messages reach out to connect through outstanding behavior and satisfying, meaningful experiences — in ones, some, and masses. True relationship one-on-one may not be scalable, but experience, behaviors and values are. We can reach out person by person and throug every action can demonstrate the values we respect to offer outstanding experiences. We can set a standard for what and our customers can count on and expect from us. We can do that in stores, on the phone, via email, in meetings, at trade shows, in all online venues, in every visit off line too.

When we know we’re about growing their business, we listen, use their language, and choose the right tools to meet their goals. Reaching out becomes connecting to their need in a way that lowers the risk and shares the benefits. We raise the goal to something bigger than we could alone.

The crucial differences in reach, outreach, and reaching out are the differences in how well we communicate what we do and how deeply we demonstrate that we do it.

Do you have reach, do outreach, or do you reach out? Do do you all three?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

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Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, LinkedIn, outreach, reach

Do You Know Your Limits? Are You Reaching Customers or Confusing Them?

August 16, 2010 by Liz

Are You Thinking Brick and Mortar, but Working Online?

cooltext443809437_relationships

The first was supposed to be a short phone call with a client about how to get visibility for his book. The second was supposed to be the initial meeting on how to launch a new product.

The question that caused the chaos was simple really …

What group of customers do you want to reach first?

Neither guy wanted to commit. Both were sure that they were meant to sell to everyone.

The problem isn’t who might buy your product, but the visibility, strength, and power of your reach.

Once upon a time, when a store had a location, that a target market was gated by geography. An answer such as

I want to reach every small business.

really meant every small business in a certain in a limited geography. It was too expensive to think much wider than that.

The Advantages of a Location Limited Community

Before the Internet, geographical communities often served as niche markets. Thus the famous mantra, “Location, Location, Location” became important. Location meant traffic and visibility. We could saturate a market simply because it was limited and then go find another market to saturate. Huge companies such as Wal-mart started out just that way.

  • Limited geography meant limited competition. People could only walk or drive so far to get to the product or service they wanted.
  • Limited geography meant limited reach. The local community shared certain values and only grew so large. Our values had to be their values for us to succeed.
  • Limited geography meant visibility and familiarity. When we were the only pizza bar in the neighborhood, the only marketing firm on our street, or the only leadership coach in our neighborhood, location we were a lot easier to see.

We could say that everyone was our customer because everyone was limited to everyone in a certain area. Customers got to know us because we were there every day in the same community.

Do You Know Your Limits? Are You Reaching Customers or Confusing Them?

953139_roadsign_confusion

Now that we’re online and offline, location is no longer geographic. We need to limit our communities in other ways to get that same visibility, traffic, and saturation before we try to conquer a second community.

Now we have to define our limits so that our customers can see us above the competition in a global playing field.

  • Limit your playing field. You’ll have a clearer picture of what you need to know and how to reach the people you want to reach. Choose service professionals, corporations, or b2b companies.
  • Focus on that specific community or group as your market to raise your visibility and establish your expertise.
  • By picking a limited community, you can be everywhere they are. You can can concentrate on them, their needs and how they change with the context of each new environment. You can the knowledge of intimacy, nuance and depth of experince.

Try to reach everyone and the result will be confusion. Lawyers and People who run Day Care Centers just don’t have the same needs. Even small business owners in different industries recognize when we’re being generic with them. We’re all looking for solutions that meet our needs not “sort of” answers that might fit a problem “somewhat like” what we’re facing.

The focus of a smaller niche makes it easier to know, understand, and serve the people who love what we do well. Reach out for the customers who will help your business thrive, not the ones who will take any answer and leave any time.

Having a relationship requires limiting and focusing attention.

Do you know your limits? How do your ideal customers know you’re here for them?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz on your business!!

Buy the Insider’s Guide to Online Conversation.

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Filed Under: Marketing /Sales / Social Media, Successful Blog Tagged With: bc, LinkedIn, Location limits, relationships

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