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Social Networking: How to Keep True Direction Down Trails of Connections

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Passion, Connections, and Directions

The Living Web

When I was a kid, I wasn’t looking for my direction. No one said to follow my passion. I was a kid. I was on a quest to do extraordinary stuff.

When I was a kid, I wasn’t bombarded with information from every dimension. My social circle was small. The proportions between my size and that circle have changed since then. My life is replete with relationships and complex connections. Now I have more social network passwords than the number of friends I had when I was kid.

Conversations bifurcate, trifurcate, and splinter off in bit and pieces. They move like a soccer ball on this field where I hang out. I’m following echoes down weblike trails of plurkshops and twebinars to hear what my friends are saying now.

Underneath all that, the kid I was still has dreams, still wants to do extraordinary stuff. Here’s my recipe for getting back to what I’m about.

  • I turn it off.

In a minute or so, I remember my quest.

Passion needs direction, or it gets lost.

How do you hold onto your true direction?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
Buy the ebook and find out the secret.

Social Networking: It's Not Who You Know — It's Whether You Know Yourself

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The Living Web

Networking, social networking, friending, and making connections, the time it takes to keep up with such things can be tremendous and exhausting. It’s hard to reply to every bit of conversation and get some work done. I’m also left wondering about Stever Robbins’ question “Social media confuses relationships and databases.” He draws a possible life scenario based on just such connections.

“I have over 1,000 Facebook friends!” one Twitterer proudly exclaimed.

Why is that a good thing? Well, when your car breaks down, you can call 1,000 people who you know nothing about and cry “Help! I’m stranded by the side of the road all alone.”

One of those 1,000 people is George. George “friended” you because you remind him so much of his first romance. The romance ended badly, but George is determined to recapture the love of his life. “I’ll be glad to pick you up,” e-mails George. “What kind of flowers are your favorite?”

1000 friends who don’t really know me, but I can say that I know them.

Is that worth something? Not usually.

We have to know each other for the “friend” part to work or network like it’s supposed to.

It’s not who knows our names or the bits we write in our profile. That’s not enough for someone to know what we need or how to refer us. It’s who knows us, who knows what unique and valuable things each one of us offers that no other one of us does. It’s who knows how something, everything, will be different — better — because we were a part of it.

For someone to know our unique value, we have to know that ourselves.

So you see, it’s not who know, but whether you know yourself.

What different and unique things do you bring to the table?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
The first eBook is coming . . .

Hunters, Gatherers, and Stars of Networking

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Networking on the Ground

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I’ve been networking on the ground in Chicago. in the last two weeks, I went to a class, a seminar, a presentation, and a huge networking event. My goal was find a few folks who might help me figure out how to talk about an idea that’s shaping up and to learn how to connect with the people who might be interested in exploring it.

I sure found some incredible people, who told me about their work and helped me focus my thinking. I listened them as long as I might and thanked them for their counsel. I found some great folks that I could easily connect to information they needed or a friend who could help them. Sadly, I also found people who seemed hyper-focused on reciting on a script. Conversation with them was almost impossible.

At the large event, I met Mike, who works in relationship management. We talked about this scripted phenomena. He called the hyper-focused people, “hunters.” He said they came to find someone — anyone — to give them work or to work for them. He said he knew because he used to be one of them.

The Hunters, Gatherers, and Stars of Networking

That conversation with Mike left me thinking about the roles we use when we network in a room of strangers. I see distinct types.

  • The hunters — Hunters come to find people of a certain kind. They’re hungry for a boss or an employee who will solve the problem. Hunters are out to satisfy their appetite. The conversations and connections are only important when they move toward that goal.
  • The gatherers — Gatherers have a goal of collecting people. They “work the room” efficiently and with a smile. The most practiced gatherer will trade business cards with every person in the room and be done in record time. Quantity is their quest. Gatherers are about numbers not relationships.
  • The stars — Stars go to learn and help folks when they can. The stars know that one person can only make and maintain relationships with a limited number of people at one time. They use conversation to find where connections offer both people a benefit if they form a relationship.
  • And of course, there are the nonparticipants who watch from the sidelines. Their name is the only description that we need.

As I write this I realize that we play the same roles when we network online. Each of these folks is on our social networking sites.

What do you think? Are there others that I’ve left out? Do you find that online networking is easier than networking on the ground?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!
SOBCon08 is May 2,3,4 in Chicago. Register now!

Reviewing Your Face to Face Networking Techniques

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Liz Goes, Lorelle Guest Posts, Lorraine Gets Control

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When we’ve got a lot to do, we rely on friends to help us out and over the mound of work that we’re facing. I was delighted when my dear friend, Lorelle, jumped in to help me by writing a guest post for the time I’ll be gone to SxSW.

But as relationships work, sometimes our friends come with their own circle of relationships. A few months ago, Lorelle and I invented an alter ego of hers named Lorraine, who keeps popping up when Lorelle writes certain kinds of blog posts.

Well, Lorraine caught a thought that Lorelle was writing about networking for me and you. Lorraine’s fabulous street-wise, huge-size ego could not allow Lorelle to write that post on her own. Next thing we knew, Lorraine had taken over . . .

Lorelle and I want you to know that we hope you’re in no way offended by Lorraine’s take on the subject. She’s . . . um, er . . . direct and sometimes a little colorful. Enjoy!

Reviewing Your Face to Face Networking Techniques

by Lorraine, alterego of THE famous Lorelle VanFossen

Who are you more willing to come to aid of? A complete stranger or someone you’ve met?

Okay, so we know the answer. People are typically more willing to help those they know than total strangers. So it helps to know as many people as you can so you will get help if you need it, right?

Attending a business conference is about turning strangers into acquaintances into friends. You want to work with your friends, people you trust, people who trust you, and the ones you know can get the job done as well as help you get your job done. Right?

You want the experts and you want to get to know the experts.

Oh, wait. At a business conference, especially one on blogging, you are also the expert. People want to know you. You are the one they are waiting for to come to their aid. This is your chance. Are you ready? Are you trained? Are you prepared for the moment when the moment to perform arrives?

The Successful and Outstanding Bloggers Conference (SOBCon) is the place where experts come to rub shoulders with other experts – no matter what your expertise.

Are you ready to share your expertise and meet the experts at SOBCon in May?

Let’s review your preparation techniques.

  • What to Wear:
    Yes, clothes make the first impression, so what should you wear to be your best at such a powerful business of blogging conference? The first impression is your best networking tool so you want to look your best. At SOBCon though, we’re a bunch of bloggers. We are people who dress for success for the public and work in our underwear. Choose something in between that represents you and your blog while dressing for warm temperatures and hotel air conditioning. Chicago is warm in May. Informal, clean, with a spot on the left shoulder for a name badge.

    Wear something that says, “Hi, I’m a blogger but I’m a successful and outstanding blogger.”

  • Practice Your Smile and Handshake:
    I know you are used to virtual meetings and social networking, so you probably haven’t practiced your smile and handshake in a while. Take some time to rehearse in the mirror and practice on a family member or pet. You want the smile to not look like you have the hemorrhoids that come with blogging. Make it natural, fun, coy, and endearing. Like on television when the sick and dying child looks up and smiles to let you know that it will be okay, don’t worry, mommy and daddy. Make the handshake strong and firm without ripping off their arm. And wipe those sweaty palms.

    Be a professional networker now.

  • Practice Your Babble:
    Repeat after me: Hi, my name is [your name] and I blog about [your blog purpose and goals]. Wait, how many words does it take to define you and your blog? Can you do it in less than 200 words? If you can, work harder. Prune it down to 10 words or less and you have a powerful tagline to kick off a conversation with. Get your blog goals and purpose on paper and rehearse it. Practice introducing yourself and giving your spiel. You are going to get asked, so be ready for the moment.

    You’re there to get known, so if you can’t tell them what you do, who wants to know you?

  • Pry Open Your Brain:
    Crack open your virtual skull and get ready for new input. You’ve come here as an expert to learn from the experts. Get your head ready to fill with exciting thoughts, ideas, business techniques, tips, and the tools you need to ratchet your blog up 10 notches.

    The inspiration can’t get in unless the brain is open. Pack your can opener in your suitcase so you’re ready.

  • Remove Brain Filters:
    Yeah, yeah, heard it, read it, bought the book and the t-shirt. Stop that thinking right now. Clean out all the filters on your brain that thinks there is only one way to do this blogging thing. Get ready for new tips and techniques to drive themselves into your gray matter and come out with clearer blogging, networking, and marketing skills.

    Remove preconceived notions and cobwebs and get ready for new input to strain through the sifters in your skull.

  • Remember What It Means to Make Friends – Real Friends:
    Living online, we often forget the nuances that turns acquaintances into great friends. Remember how a look could fill say a paragraph of meaning and intent with your friends in the real world? I know the skills are rusty, but you can do it. Practice clever witticisms and comebacks. Work on that sly grin. Be ready to poke a little fun – appropriate fun – in the moment that will turn a chance meeting into a life-long relationship of working and playing together.

    It’s these little things that you do that change a stranger into a friend.

  • Did Someone Say Networking Means Business?
    You’re not just there to meet and greet. You attend these things to make money. You can make money by meeting the people who have money to share, or learn from those earning it hand over fist. It’s not just about the money. It’s about the money-making connections. What skills do you not have that you wish you did? Find someone who does and maybe you may have the skills they don’t have. SWAP! Pushing into the consultancy business? Then you better have a vast list of resource folks to help fill in the missing parts of your business services. Start collecting business cards and getting to know those missing parts people. NETWORKING!

    The more people you know with the right skills and resources, the more likely you are to sing in harmony to “Blogs Will Keep Us Together.”

  • Spread Yourself on Everyone:
    Become like jam. Be prepared to spread yourself everywhere during the conference. You want to be in all the pictures, podcasts, live blogging, and videos. You want to be the one who stands up and asks the brilliant question that gets everyone talking about you, you smarty pants, not the speaker. You want to be mentioned in every report from the conference as the witty, wise, and wondrous person who stole everyone’s heart with your dazzling brilliance and networking skills. After all, it’s who you know not what you know that can make all the difference in your blogging career.

    Start spreading your who around.

  • Be Thinking Blogging Every Moment:
    You know by now that anything can be a blog post, so keep your note pad near you at all times and jot down every blog post moment you can think of to blog about the event and the lessons you learned when you get back to your blog. You’re an expert now. You know that the networking doesn’t end with the face to face handshake and smile. It’s back to the blog salt mines where the real networking begins.

    Start your linking!

The power of online social networking is amazing. You meet people you would never run across in your daily life. You rub virtual shoulders with the whose who of the web. It’s a never ending network of connections as you find new sources of information daily, and others find you as their source.

However, the potential in these networking possibilities only show up when you show up. Show up.

—
Lorelle VanFossen writes for Lorelle on WordPress,
Blog Herald – Taking Your Camera on the Road where you’ll also find
Lorelle’s Family History Blog. Order Her Book Now! Blogging Tips: What Bloggers Won’t Tell You About Blogging

Lorraine is usually locked away where she cannot cause harm.

Thanks, Lorelle!

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz to get over your networking phobia!!

Work with Liz!!
SOBCon08 is May 2,3,4 in Chicago. Register now!

How to Network at a Social Media Breakfast

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My Name Is Liz Strauss

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In a few minutes, I’ll be leaving to attend Jeff Pulver’s Chicago Social Media Breakfast. If you haven’t heard, Jeff is going around the US meeting folks from the world of Tech and Blogging. He came to Chicago for this event. Bloggers are gathering to me him and each other. Yeah!

As the host, Jeff has invented a way for his guests who just met to find it easier to talk to each other. Take minute to watch him talk about his “Social Networking Toolkit.”

I’m having a few thoughts about how I might make those two hours successful. Here are my tips for anyone who might be doing the same in the near future.

  • Dress comfortably. In clothes that make you feel good about who you are. It’s no fun to meet people feeling like you are really who you are.
  • Keep your goal for attending realistic and low stress. I want to meet new people and find out what they do.
  • Know that even though the other folks there might be looking at you. They could be thinking about you looking at them. Smile as if we’re all in on the secret. Break the ice for them by making yourself approachable, most will be grateful.
  • Have a question ready for that moment when the air seems call for a conversation to start between you and another person. Mine is “What do you do when you’re not doing this?”
  • When someone asks a question that leaves you feeling self-conscious or without an answer say so. . . . “I make everyone at these events so important. It throws me a bit. Could you hold on while I recover my ability to think? . . . Often just saying so gets past the feeling and moves me on to the next part of the conversation.
  • If you make everyone else the center of the universe, it’s hard to feel self-conscious or under a microscope. Get curious and see how many people you can get to tell you about themselves. Ask broad questions such as how they got where they are, what they wonder, or how they’d rewrite a recent industry event if they could.

I remember a friend who, when she and her husband started a new business, they made a contest to see who might get the most rejections from sales calls. I’ve made a contest for myself. I’m going to see how many folks I might get to talk to me when I go there.

What advice can you add for networking newbies about to attend their first networking breakfast?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

7 Ways to a Remarkably Powerful, Personal Network of Bloggers

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How to Make Friends with a Blogger

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Just this week someone was saying to me how surprised they were to find that bloggers are such helpful people. That got me thinking about how much all of you have been for me.

So much of what blogging has been for me is been the relationships that have started in comment box, A network of blogger friends is the hugest benefit of this hobby of communicating with everyone who stumbles upon our url. The folks we meet on our blogs are now the people with whom we’re doing business and sharing our goals.

People say that I’m a connector, here’s how those connections came about.

7 Ways to a Remarkably Powerful, Personal Network of Bloggers

If you want to meet and connect with bloggers, you have to go where bloggers hang out — blogs, blog meet ups, and social networking groups that are blogger haunts. When you get there, know a few things about what we bloggers have in common so that you’ll feel comfortable having something to talk about. Here are seven ways to connect with bloggers.

  1. Use blogrolls. Bloggers are always clicking and connecting. We know the most efficient ways to get from place or person to another. Bloggers recognize like minds quickly and value the connections when we find one. Use the blogrolls on the blogs you read to find new blogs to widen your circle.

  2. Promote bloggers who have great thoughts. The best form of connecting is to show folks what we value about them by sharing it publicly with our friends. We live on the web — a connected set of linked up urls. Link to bloggers who talk about what you’re interest in and you’ll find they’ll be interested in you. Don’t just concentrate on A-Listers. Great thinkers are writing on blogs that just started yesterday. You can help them get going.

  3. Ask for help with a problem. Bloggers are flexible and agile. We’ve picked up the latest and adapt them to our needs — sometimes in ways that the developers hadn’t imagined. When you visit new blogs check the structure as well as the content, when you have a problem connect, connect, connect with bloggers. A blogger will know how to help. A simple question in a contact box with the words “Can you point me in the direction of the answer . . .” will often start a new relationship.

  4. Do something to change the world. Bloggers love to make things better. One of the quickest ways to connect with bloggers is to design and announce a realistic, altruistic plan to improve or support a cause for someone else.

  5. Avoid the wrong side of the links. Some bloggers aren’t the sort to connect up with. Keeping an eye on our zeal to connect is always a good idea. Spam and advertorial content is all some slimy bloggers ever offer. Those connections make a network weaker.

  6. Value every second someone shares with you. Bloggers guard their time. We spend time writing great content, tweaking our blogs and talking to each other. Be authentic, be thoughtful, and be generous when you say hello that very first time. . . . and every time after.

  7. Remember the people; forget the press. A blogger’s life changes quickly over time. In a few months, we can go from being a “newbie” to being someone folks want to know. The first notice by a big search engine, the first time we show up on a top ten list, the first page ranking at Google — these are our academy awards. When it happens to you, don’t let it change who you are. People don’t change their algorithms nearly as often as Google does.

So there they are 7 ways to connect with bloggers to form a remarkably powerful personal network. What they really say is Be real and be about the folks you want to connect with. Show up as who you are from the first moment and you’ll find folks will start wanting to connect to you.

Know any other hints I should add to the list?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Would you like to work with Liz to build your network?