Listening Well Involves Knowing What Was Said
I ended an interview today with this idea.
As everyone now can add to the conversation. People overvalue the power of talking. They think putting words out makes it easier to be heard, seen and found.
Yet as the signal rises, I find folks passing on things that they couldn’t have had time to read, answering questions that they’ve misread. Other folks are taking a listening posture, but they they’re just looking for what to say or pass on next.
I’ve started to think of that as Twitter FAIL … pretending to listen to Twitter friends.
Some folks have unfriended everyone and started over. Maybe they found it easier to block out most of it.
Lots of folks don’t worry at all as long as they feel heard.
Still I think the stronger power lies in listening … with both heart and head. When we listen we learn.
Are you listening? How can I tell?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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I agree, listening is where it’s at. For me, Twitter is too noisy… I use it very little anymore.
Hi Todd,
While I’ve been sick, I’ve gotten a real dose of Twitter. I just couldn’t make it over to my computer and I wanted to know what was going on. What I found was a lot of disjointed conversation and passing on of the same links over and over. Twitter lost some shine for me then.
I’m falling back in love with my blog. 🙂
I completely agree Liz. I’m falling in love with my blog again and also finding other communitieto explore. There’s nothing like Twitter, but the conversations are getting stale.
Hi Corvida!
I discovered a while ago that the microblog format really gets to be a lot like a cross between a sticky note and small talk in a lot of ways.
I have longer threads in my DMs and enjoy that it’s lightened my email, but talking to the world sure has lost some of it’s original glow.
Glad to hear that you’re starting to love your blog again!
Certainly I agree with the spirit of your post — communication never occurs if no one is listening.
I do find myself wanting to hear from or check in people I only know through Twitter, but value that connection. So I think that is the answer to your question — How can I tell if you are listening? — are you making *connections*? Are you socializing, networking, developing relationships on social media (success), or only advertising? (fail)
I certainly listen to you Liz.
Wesley,
I hear you and I listen too. Thank you for saying that. 🙂
Listening is getting harder to do with so much noise, but paying attention to folks that count never goes out of style. 🙂
If conversations are “getting stale” might that not be a function of who you’re listening to and what they are talking about? In such a dynamic and customizable channel as Twitter aren’t we responsible for the quality and freshness and usefulness of what we have to listen to?
Hi Anastasia,
I think you’ve got a valid point about who we listen to. Still I think the format, much like a telegraph, makes it hard to get into a whole conversation about things that we really care about. In my own way, I’ve decided that I’m using Twitter to get to know people on Twitter to find folks that I want to talk to more fully using other tools, such as my blog, email, and the telephone. That’s where I find out what makes them tick in words and ways they might not want to broadcast to everyone or be able to say in only 140 character bursts.
I like your description of Twitter conversations as a cross between sticky notes and small talk, Liz.
Increasingly, it seems, the word “conversation” is a misnomer for what goes on in the Twitterstream, and the greatest value of Twitter is in the behind-the-scenes DMs: it’s a bit like text-messaging, only no one has to give up their phone number to a relative stranger (or pay the phone bill)!
Yes, Twitter put a dent in the blogs for a time; but you and Corvida are not, I see, the only ones who are moving back towards blogs as the primary place for exchanging ideas and information — the site of the real conversation.
Inevitably, after a while, the fun challenge of trying to squeeze a meaningful message into 140 characters gets frustrating. And the disjointed exchanges feel like the communication cycle is breaking down at the midpoint, when the next interesting snippet snaps up in the stream.
It’s rather like the traditional holiday binge on hor d’oeuvres and sweets: nibbling on the tasty bits has its place, but eventually we start longing for a good solid well-balanced nutritious meal.
Rebecca,
In the early days of blogging, we used to call what happened in the comment box a conversation, when really it was just “remarks.” I think Twitter has taken us back there in some ways. I agree that DMs tend to be where the real conversations are happening and the real business communication is.
I, too, see many folks moving back to our blogs to have the room to have and give real time to a longer, deeper thought. I’m even shying away from the usual list post because they leave so little to talk about. I like what you say about Twitter becoming harder to squeeze a meaningful message out. It’s starting to feel more like we need to find another venue to talk more.
There is certainly the networking/relationship component to Twitter, yes.
For me, though, the biggest part of what Twitter is for IS listening — to the conversations, to the trends, to colleagues and competitors…to me that doesn’t necessarily equate to having an interactive conversation. In fact it usually does not. However, I am made “smarter” by the listening.
The new list functionality really helps me tune out the noise and focus on certain channels on demand (which I love).
Thanks for this post!
Liz,
I find it hard to keep up with Twitter recently. I can’t keep track of all the conversations and friends. I end up feeling an internal pressure to say something and not sure that helps.
I have been trying to observe more, promote others, and take your advice- listen.
Afterthought… “we need to find another venue to talk more”: Do you suppose that might be part of the impetus behind the growth of local tweetups? Maybe even explain the enduring popularity of conferences, even in a recession? What we all really want to do, perhaps, is sit down with an appropriate seasonal beverage and look each other in the eye and talk about real stuff that matters.