New Job, New Career, Finally On Your Own
We land a new position, change careers, or finally take the plunge and start that business of our own that we’ve always thought about and for the first few weeks, few months we’re sailing. Enthusiastic beginner they call it. Even though we’re not beginners. It’s the newness. Everything’s shiny. Then, it’s not.
A Bad Boy roars into our thnking. Bad Boys are negative messages, bad tape recordings, in our heads. They’re things we tell ourselves that undercut our success and productivity.
The bad boy here is “You’re a Fraud, a Fake, a Phony.”
Sound outrageous? I’ve seen it happen. I’ve predicted it. I’ve even done it myself.
You’re a Fraud, a Fake, a Phony
It happens about the when we move from Enthusiatic Beginner to Disillusioned Learner. Suddenly, it hits us, what we’re doing is real. We start to figure out the downsides to this new situation. When those two things come together, it’s an open invitation for a bad boy of business to show up.
“You’re a fraud, a fake, a phony,” he says. “Everyone else thinks you know this.”
If we got experience and a track record, we don’t hear him, but if the job we’re in is new or we’re forging a new career, we start to wonder. Maybe he’s right. He’s not.
What’s really happening: Self-questioning is actually a good thing. It’s responding to the reality of the situation. It’s recognition — re cog ni tion — our brain kicking in to the fact that people are expecting us, we’re expecting ourselves, to perform. It means we’re serious about performing.
The problem comes when we decide that the challenge is beyond our skills. Everyone has moments that they don’t feel up to what people think they can do.
The solution is to tell that bad boy tape recording to hit the road. Replace it with a new one. “I have a great skill set. I’ll learn anything else I need.”
The message is we probably shouldn’t decide that we don’t know how to walk until we find our feet. Why do we tell ourselves we can’t do things before we’ve had a chance to finish learning them?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Related articles:
Bad Boys of Writing: Just Write and It Will Be Spectacular
Bad Boys of Business: Thatââ¬â¢s Not ââ¬ÅRealââ¬Â Work
Hey Liz,
Thanks, I needed that… as I mentioned in the E-mail, things look out of control. Too much to learn and basically redo.
I guess I knew that going in, but thanks for the reminder, it’s a continual learning experience.
Joe
Hi Liz,
Right on.
Your post reminds me of the “imposter syndrome,” which I’ve seen up close among fellow grad students who constantly wonder whether they’re good enough, smart enough, etc.
Last year I attended a great lecture by Dr. Valerie Young, an expert on the subject. Her website impostersyndrome.com is a great resource for people who want to confront this Bad Boy.
Jim
Hi Joe,
I was wondering if anyone would think that this post was worth reading. Thanks for letting me know it was. I really appreciate that. 🙂
Hi Jim,
Thanks for your comment. I saw this happen often with young editors, usually around month 2-4. They thought I was reading their mind when I brought it up. 🙂
Thanks for the name and the link. Imposter syndrome. I like that.
Excellent post, Liz. I spend way too much time letting the bad boys in my head shove me around, especially in the blogosphere. I’ll keep your advice in mind the next time I worry about it…
Don’t worry about it, Jason. You do good work. I think this is one bad boy that gets us all, but I figure that we’re not really so different on the inside from each other, so if I feel like an imposter, the person on the other side of the office, or the table, or the internet, does too, so why worry about it. In the meantime you work and learn until you do feel competent.
And as long as you remember there will always be someone smarter than you, a better writer, a better producer, or a better , you can get on with your own life and be the best you can be at what you have chosen to do.
I messed up my last comment. It should have said:
…or a better <insert skill or role here>, you can get on with your own life…
Hi Jason,
Thanks for your comment. I think we all have these bad boys in our head!
Great advice and an insightful comment Rick!
We all listen to this bad boy now and then. Our parents were worried that we’d be too proud, I think so they made sure he was there to look out for us. We can let him go his way now!
Rick- thanks for that additional advice. I like the idea of remembering that the person on the other side of the desk or internet has insecurities too.
Liz- I love how your posts blossom into these little conversations in a matter of seconds…
Hi, Jason,
The folks who hang out here are special that way. They’re incredibly smart and incredibly cool. They’re like you are, 🙂
Wow – talk about stumbling across a post just when I needed it. I think the best insights are so obvious we can’t see them – thanks for the encouraging words.
Gotta fight this Bad Boy…
Hi Dwayne,
Great to meet you! I’m glad you found what you need. We all run into this bad boy at some point or another. He’s not so hard to fight if you know he’s just a tape recording. 🙂