Peer Pressure for Adults
Authenticity. It’s not easy to be authentic. I wonder whether anyone can. Maybe it’s a self-actualizing quest. Maybe it’s a journey, not a destination.
Yet.
An authentic world of transparent events, where fear of oneself no longer exists, has the potential beauty and productivity of any phenomenon nature ever made.
Yet.
As I look back at those who have walked to their calling, or at the tiny ones I taught who knew their own truth, I see they both found some rocky walking as they made their way along their paths. It’s my experience, too, that as I find my feet — as I know which direction is mine and which place to stand — some folks find it a duty to tell me what my role is and to follow the path that they set.
No.
“Choose wisely. Choose wisely, but choose your own path,” my father said. So did my friends. “Choose not for others, but always hold your choice for yourself.”
The choice is the action. The choice is the hope. The choice is the relationship and the place where you’ll go. The choice is the chance to know your head and your heart as they become your life. It is the choice that honors your self and the people you respect and love.
Only you know which is the right choice.
Say, “no.” When they say, “be someone other.”
Say, “no.” When they ask you to do what they won’t.
Say, “no.” Unless your heart and your head say “this is where my feet need to go.”
Authenticity knows how to choose its own path.
Authenticity is having faith in ourselves.
We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Liz,
Thank you for this wonderful reminder to consciously choose to be me.
Mike
Hi Mike!
I’m your memory in side your computer. 🙂 😉
I used to think that was unusual; now I’m just darned grateful! 🙂
Mike
Some things in life just aren’t worth trying to explain. [giggle]
Liz ~ Ooooooo, yes! It’s definitely a journey for me. I especially love what you articulated … “where fear of oneself no longer exists.” I needed the reminder this morning, thanks!
Hi Gloria!
We are particularly good at scaring ourselves, aren’t we. I know that I am. I know all of my weaknesses better than anyone does and push my buttons all of the time. 🙂
Liz,
I always had my doubts, but now I’m sure–you’re either a clairvoyant or some kind of psychic. Or else, how come every one of your posts seem to be written especially for me? That too, written for the day and sometimes for the very moment I read them 🙂
Choice? It’s a luxury that I can’t afford at this phase in my life. It’s so scary at times that it looks like my mind is hard-wired only to make the wrong choice. [“Not Safe To Be Free” — James Hadley Chase]
But I can’t help but feel strongly that faith and choice are strongly intertwined. I have experienced the sheer happiness arising from faith. When it comes down to choices, that’s when I have to use my head rather than my heart.
Honest I’m not trying to sound like a poet or a philosopher, but it really seems like my heart and head are never on the same page at the same time.
It’s like the jig-saw thing; I see all the pieces, even identify them, but just freeze when it comes to putting them together.
Am I authentic? Not sure. Well sometimes I dread that everyone will one day find out what a fraud I am… how I cheated myself.
And Liz thanks for being able to read my thoughts from 7036 miles miles way, and providing a platform from where I can look at myself. 🙂
Hi Liz, are you inside my pc too?! I’m on a path theme at the moment too 🙂
Joanna
Zakman,
I wonder whether you understand how you represent all of us? Keeping head and heart together is no easy deal. I’m here to say so. My head was so powerful, more powerful than my faint heart. Bossy thing. My heart was shy, willing to give in and take the pain. I’d bounce between them I’d never know which was me. Finally I realized that they had to have the same values.
It wasn’t my heart that had taken on someone else’s, or that lost track of what was important, or that got insensitive to beauty and people. 🙂
Zakman,
Your heart is courage. Your mind is striving. I hear a man who expects so much from himself. Please know that we all have a fear of falling on some day — it wasn’t that long ago that it was a regular thing for me to want to crawl into a hole. That’s why we have community. That’s why I’m here inside your computer. That’s why there’s listening — because we all go there. It’s authentic to be confused. It’s authentic to be afraid. You might be the most authentic one of all of us.
Liz
Hi Joanna!
I just found that out. Blogger synchronicity. I’m so smiling! Great minds follow the same paths. 🙂
Your post here triggered something(gee…your posts have never done that before) and I just had to drop everything and write up my own post about it. Funny thing (again)that I was just thinking the same lines today but what you said here brought it all together. here’s the link in case you and anyone else might be interested.
http://just-thinkin.net/just-thinkin/a-good-life-so-far/
Thanks once again Liz. Just more stuff we can talk about. 😀
synchronicity yet again. Was riding alle with trainer joani in a “dress rehearsal” for saturday’s show and she asked me if i was still planning to do an endurance ride on Picken this year.
I told her that while everyone’s been telling us to do it , etc… it doesnt feel anymore like the right path for her and me. Rather focus on showing with Alle… which is a complete change of path/direction for me from two months ago. Gotta watch for those crossroads on the path
gp in montana
Hi Kirk!
Of course folks want to read what you write about this. I find it deeply satisfying that you and I are often on the same wavelength. We share many thoughts, don’t we? Thank you for letting me know that. 🙂
Hey GP!
Your change of path wounds like the right thing for you. I hear the focus in what you’re saying. So Alle is to e the one. Good luck on Saturday. 🙂
What a beautiful post! And some great comments too…
I’ve always found it fascinating how hard it is to actually be who we are – it seems to me that it should be the most natural thing in the world. But it (obviously) isn’t. It’s a tough thing to stand up to the world and say “This is me… take it or leave it.” Sometimes the world’s promise of making us comfortable in exchange for being something else is too tempting.
Thank you, Liz, for reminding us that the rewards of authenticity far outweigh any perceived costs.
Especially when it’s both our heart *and* our head that’s telling us to move.
Hello Lyman!
Welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment so thoughtfully.
It’s true. Being authentic should be easy — at least it seems so. Yet it could be the hardest challenge going.
Authenticity is its own reward. It becomes the ease of wearing our own skin, walking in our own shoes. When we choose our own path, we have a purpose and life has meaning. That’s a difference that we can’t borrow.
Lyman, it’s nice to meet you. 🙂
It’s nice to be met, Liz. 🙂 And thanks for the quick reply to my comment!
Hi Lyman,
You’re new around here. Pull up a stool. Have a drink of your choice. That’s the way we do things. Welcome. You’re not a stranger anymore. 🙂
In premise the whole “listen to your heart” or “bang your own drum” is all good because we do know what “color is our own parachute”, but some times these paths are totally unrealistic and just plain narcissistic or harmful to others. Sometimes professionals do far more damage to their own reputations or real “friends” and authentic teammates by refusing to listen to feedback. It’s time people learned to stop saying I and start and listening to find “we”.
Changing the world starts by changing our own beliefs and ways of acting towards each other.
Starting inside out by having courage to show our true face, giving up the mask. Perhaps, more than that: have the courage to change ourselves notwithstanding the face others have put on us, the portrait they have created as they have frozen a piece of us that has changed with time, locking us up in their concepts of what our reality should be. Sometimes, to be truly authentic, one needs to re-become his own person by going against the expectation of the ones standing closest to us.
Dear Liz, I could write long hours about transformational stages and how one can achieve amazing results. For now, I will just thank you for having started such a great conversation. Have a lovely night. To answer your question: I am changing the world one person at a time, started with me and spreading around 🙂 with much consideration.
I so appreciate learning about staying true to myself. When I am true to me, I am happiest, when I stray, I find myself experiencing stress on many fronts, both body and mind.
Yes, we all experience fear of the unknown, and yet taking that leap of faith and that step into the unknown often is scary but gives us the strength we need to take the next step and the next.
I chose a path now
and now and now and now – mine
extraordinary
nice article
What is a path through the woods?
It is nothing. It is simply where the woods are not.
The path is unimportant.
It is our journey that enlightens us and our destination that satisfies us.
We know authenticity when it shows up.
To let a path happen you have to do some walking. Again and again, make a move.
Good article, no point in being someone else, if you cant be yourself ,
True words!
But sometimes it’s a small and tiny path…
Detlev
You gotta be you……….it’s your true strength !!
Choose wisely evaluating what information you have. Ask for advice from someone you trust.
Great post
Excellent blog. Very well written and touches on so many important points. Thanks for sharing.
Never realized the as clearly as when I started my business..all on my own. Hasn’t always been easy, but has been rewarding.
Change to world always gets smacked right over the head by pay the bills. I struggle with it daily.
Thanks for the reminder to live real.