A Good Surprise Is So Long in Coming Sometimes
Most children love surprises. Most adults wish they did. The reason adults don’t like surprises is that too many are negative surprises that we weren’t prepared for — had we been prepared, they wouldn’t qualify as surprises. . . .
The sad thing is one or two negative surprises can teach a person to live defensively, always preparing for the possible negative outcomes, imagining every worst case scenario, never to be caught off guard again.
We worry about negatives because positive things don’t hurt us.
Ellen Weber, Ph.D, told us new research shows that worrying shrinks our gray matter. So we’re really hurting ourselves and our ability to contribute when we worry defensively that way.
What if we could show folks that good surprises do still happen?
I remember research that showed it takes 5 positive statements to overcome 1 negative statement that we take to heart. But then, how hard is it to say a nice thing?
What if we passed along every kind word that we heard about someone? What if we added a few ourselves? What if we went first to find a way to show folks that we’re glad they’re on the planet, that we value their contribution, that some small thing about them is worth a positive remark or comment?
The smiles alone would be worth every word and bit of energy that we invested. Some of those smiles would even make a difference in our own lives and our businesses. Can’t beat an ROI like that.
There just aren’t enough good grownup surprises. Positively surprise a grownup, it’s surprising how wonderful it feels.
We can change the world — just like that.
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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If you’re ready to change the world, send me your thoughts in a guest post. Feel free to take the gorgeous Change the World image up there that Sandy designed back to your blog. Or help yourself to this one.
. Email me about what you’re doing or what we might do. Let’s change the world one bit at a time together. Together it can’t take forever.
This is tremendously interesting, I imagine most of us are running a deficit if this is the optimal ratio, how can one change that?
Hi David!
Great to see you!
Well, Most of the folks I know have decided to hang only with positive people. Positive people tend to notice and do positive things. So it would stand to reason that the things they might notice about you would be things that would work for you in a positive way.
Positive people make positive things happen. 🙂
By you’ve made a comment here, you’re not a stranger anywmore. 🙂
It is the little things that are so important to good suprises.
Hi Mark!
Welcome. Yeah, I smile as I reply to you. When I work with designers, I often say “Go simple, then add one detail you love. People will love that detail too.” Details seem to show we care in a way that gigantic things don’t. 🙂