Image Separation!
It took four hours and a few minutes.
After that I watched 8 thirty-gallon garbage sacks ride away in a car never to return again. They were from a pile called “Donations.”
The four hours and few minutes weren’t at all what I expected. I had spent them with a lovely, professional wardrobe consultant from the image studios. Her job was to help me sort through what parts of my wardrobe presented me and represented me according to these criteria:
- colors that enhances with my skin tones
- fit that works with the rest of me
- style that reflects who I am (to a personality baseline we’ve defined.)
Sounds tame and simple enough, doesn’t it? All head. No worries.
I was clueless.
Comfort Zone Shock!
Sunday morning I had two closets of well-behaved clothing — a fine collection I’d amassed in years of coming, going, working, growing. By Sunday night, I had this left hanging lonely …
.. and another thirty-gallon garbage sack filled with clothing needing alterations.
Folks on Twitter said it should be freeing … but it wasn’t.
It’s still not.
It’s interesting.
It’s confusing.
It’s enlightening.
It’s scary.
It’s not freeing.
It’s uncomfortable.
It’s a little hard not to think empty.
When I sat with Kali that first day, she asked, “Are you ready for this?”
I said, “I’ve been thinking about this for 14 months.”
She asked it again in another more profound way.
I’m now understanding what she meant and why she asked it.
I’ve been hit smack dab in the face with “Who are you really?”
Old habits seem to stay with us longer than we need them.
Old thoughts that once protected fence us in.
Old stories and old worries keep us from moving.
Old friends and old ideas can block paths to new ones.
Being too safe can be risky.
Knowing too much can get in the way of learning.
Draw a circle around who you are and your potential will walk the line.
I know for certain — I had to throw away the old jeans to understand why I needed new ones.
I’m wondering if I’m not the only one.
Have you outgrown your comfort zone?
Is it time to find a new one?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
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I have thought about doing this same thing, but I am afraid of losing my coaster shirts… they mean so much to me, but are not really part of my style.
Can you really outgrow your comfort zone or just step outside of it?
Stepping outside my comfort zone includes meeting “real” people, and this past weekend, I did that.
I’m always comfortable sitting at my computer, talking to people. I’m me, and that’s all. But meeting people in person, talking about what I love doing, in essence, self-promotion, has always been a challenge.
This past weekend, I was able to break step outside my comfort zone and do just that, and actually enjoying it. I don’t know what took me so long, but now that I’ve started, I can hardly wait for the next time to come up.
Which will actually be in a few weeks, as I’m attending an meet and greet with Chris Brogan and the SoCal Action Sports Network.
I can hardly wait.
So, for me, I haven’t outgrown my comfort zone, but stepped outside of it.
Hi Andy,
You don’t have to lose them. You just keep them to wear for yourself and know why you did. 🙂
Hi Lisa,
I think I’ve grown mine. It’s too small for me anymore. I’m breaking out into some serious new spaces, but still what was — but that’s my metaphor. Yours could work differently.
It seems either way the effect is the same. 🙂
Liz, you are a brave lady, and I applaud you for having the courage to take that step. I know it is very disconcerting, but I think you’ll find your balance again very soon.
My big “comfort zone” change was 2-1/2 years ago, when I moved from a small-town home I had lived in my whole life (literally) across the state to a home that belonged to my grandparents way out in the country.
I did a lot of clearing out at the time, and only brought with me what I needed in my new home or just couldn’t bear to part with (very special things).
I know how unsettling that was, as I watched the truck haul away a roll-off dumpster full of things I had accumulated over the years that weren’t fit for donation, or the day that all of my donation items were picked up and taken away.
The hardest part for me was walking out of that house for the last time, after laying my key on the counter. It was the only home I had ever known, and it held a lifetime of memories for me. I felt like I left a huge piece of me behind when I walked out the door.
It has taken some time, but I have, for the most part, found my balance again in my new home. The mindset and lifestyle here is a 180 from what I had known before, so my way of thinking about a lot of things has also changed. Who knew that moving could be such a life-altering experience?
The best part of this for me was finding an inner peace that I had never had before in my life.
Hang in there Liz – you will be just fine! 🙂
Hey, Kim,
Wow. I can only imagine. I moved several times. I hear you watching things roll away and not come back.
I know I’ll be fine. Actually, I expect I’ll far better. It’s being caught by surprise with this new challenge that has my mind on fire.
Building on concrete is the plan.
What you wrote:
Old habits seem to stay with us longer than we need them.
Old thoughts that once protected fence us in.
Old stories and old worries keep us from moving.
Old friends and old ideas can block paths to new ones.
Being too safe can be risky.
Knowing too much can get in the way of learning.
Draw a circle around who you are and your potential will walk the line.
Struck a chord. I have been reading a book by Robert A Johnson in which he addresses the emotion equivalent of the closet full of cloths you no longer need.
Living Your Unlived Life: Coping with Unrealized Dreams and Fulfilling Your Purpose
He and a colleague discuss how actions and habits that were important, even necessary at one time become restrictive. I am hoping to learn how to move beyond the clutter of the past and seize the real and the new.
That must have been (or still is) quite an experience! I’ve moved a lot of times and it reminds me of your experience. But your experience may be more dramatic because you are in the same place, with everything you took for granted upside down. What a great exercise. Maybe we should all do this!
I didn’t think I had anything to add here until this evening, when listening to my husband talk on the phone, I realized how sick and tired I was of letting other people and circumstances dictate my and my family’s lives. Both of us grew up with very timid people who never stood up to anyone – believing that you took your lot in life and made do with it – and we stand in danger of becoming the same way!
So anyway, my “comfort zone” is a lifelong pattern of allowing life to happen to me. To step away from that is to learn how to make life happen for me. I am deathly afraid that I don’t have all the tools (street sense, life experience) I will need to do it. I can only hope community and relationships are enough to fill in the blanks.
Liz,
I really liked this post because sometimes we do get “stuck” in the comfortable and don’t realize by venturing out of the zone, we can do some amazing things.
And there are times when staying in your comfort zone is just fine.
For instance, for me in January I conducted my first local event and I enjoyed it immensely (going out of my comfort zone) Well, this was more of doing something I haven’t tried before and I discovered I liked it.
Another thing I tried is to host my own radio show. I have set it up 3 times only to find out…it isn’t something I wish to do. This way change over time, however, it just isn’t something I wish to do now. This is also going out of my comfort zone but not feeling strong in this yet.
I think it is also about listening to yourself and doing things you are aligned with at a given time.
Another wonderful post Liz
Sincerely,
Teresa of Key Business Partners
Liz,
I thought about you on Sunday, knowing that you were having your meeting about this. Sometimes it is terribly difficult to let go of our “security blanket” that transposes itself onto our style. Clothes that are familiar and safe become our comfort – we become afraid to try new things. So of course it’s to be expected that when all that is gone you are left standing there feeling very (pardon the pun) naked. You have to now rebuild what the world perceives as “Liz”. You are still a smart, great gal and those that know you always saw that anyway. With the knowledge you have and in your line of work, you want people that don’t know you to pay attention before you even speak.
I’m having trouble letting go of younger style clothing – I still like pink and peace signs. LOL 😉 When all is said and done you will feel “freed” and new! Change is never easy.
Hi Blue True!
I didn’t realize that so many things were holding me. That’s the surprise of this endeavor. I knew I might need to grow … But I thought it would be easy. HA!
Hi Todd!
It is disconcerting. And my tenacity keeps me in here and fighting to see which parts of me are going to come out the other side. 🙂
Christa,
I think that most of us are deathly afraid that we’re missing some or all of the tools we need. The reality is that we have them. We just have to name them and claim them. That’s even harder than finding them or picking them out.
Hi Teresa,
Growing. I hear you growing. Sounds like you’re doing in a sunny field and finding the nutrients you need. I’m feeling like I need a little soil but I’ll be there soon. 🙂
Hi Robin,
I’m actually moving toward things more contemporary. Weird, but they’re making me look and feel younger. Heh heh. Don’t know yet what any of this all means. 🙂
Liz, may I join this party? I am a recent arrival in the Blogosphere–and am discovering the stimulation, the discomfort, the excitement and potential of it all. Awash with humility (WHAT? I am not the only fish in the pond?!), amazed by the smart and articulate community out there talking about things that interest me. Scared of becoming obsessed, and leaving behind the real people (LisaNewton, I am listening!)
Three cheers for your “comfort zone” post, and to your correspondents. Betsy
I dropped a few dress sizes last year, and when I noticed my pants were sagging I hit the closet hard. All of my beloved clothes didn’t fit and so I donated them.
Everything.
The affect is so strange. I had a fashion routine and now it is gone. My outfits related to my moods, and dressing had become an automatic selection process.
Now I spend way more time choosing what to wear. I have trouble relating to my new clothes, but this is a great concept and I think I’ll try applying it on future shopping trips.