about helping each other.
I’ve noticed something about the people who know me as a blogger and those who have known me longer, but don’t know the blogosphere.
Over the past few months, many blogger friends — friends I have known less than two years — have asked for help and offered help. In fact, I told someone yesterday that it’s hard to talk to a blogger without hearing, “How can I help you? or Thank you for reaching out.” In the past few days, blogger friends and I have found work for each other, worked together on projects, and when someone was in trouble people immediately rallied around to help.
Helping is a bloggerly thing. So is blogger synchronicity.
Friends I know from the 3-D world — friends that I’ve known longer, much longer — are having the same kinds of problems. Yet, they don’t call me or each other. I hear about their troubles when I call to see how they are. They struggle alone or with one friend who helps them. It’s not that they think I won’t help. They don’t think about me at all. They think they must walk alone through paved streets.
Asking for help seems to be not a worldly thing. Neither does letting many people too close seem to be.
I wonder at how small a big city seems when the world is our community.
I can reach out to people across the country. People of so many skills and gifts have taught me incredible things. I have learned to believe in the power of people and dreams.
I introduced a friend from the world of brick and mortar to a friend in the world of blogging today. She said she believed that when the learner is ready, the teacher appears.
Another blogger friend brought a nonblogger in trouble to me for help.
This weekend I’ll celebrate blogger generosity by looking for ways to give help away.
How could anyone how has received so much, do any less?
_________
Hi Liz
Are you absolutely sure you weren’t here with me yesterday? When finally my dear friend ‘relented’ and will start a blog (because I said so – and he knows I’m here to help him all the way) to help him write that book he’s struggling with?
Wow!
Karin H (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
Hi Karin!
It seems we’re always with each other. That must be what comes comes from being inside each other’s heads so frequently. π
Good morning/afternoon!
Morning to you (thought you where ‘just’ in our pc’s?) afternoon to me π
Big small city and community (virtual networking?) was also mentioned in one of my favourite blogging metaphors by Amie at Runners Lounge
The world is a big (scary) place sometimes, but knowing where to turn to for helps, shoulder to cry on, advice that same big world seems like a small town. And, as my wise friend once said, we sometimes forget to ask the question: “How can we help?”
Offering help makes the world smaller π
Karin H.
Yeah, I agree. I think the buildings do more than keep us safe. They tower over us and put separations in place. They make ways that people we can’t see can see us. But most of all the distance between us is real . . . and when we’re close we sometimes can’t get away. π
I have found helping each other much easier than it has been to help my friends recently. I think it seems like less effort, less commitment to help electronically.
My parents are moving out of the countrly next month, and going 15 miles to help them pack things up into the POD seems daunting compared to helping people I don’t know.
We’ll give it a go anyway. π
Welcome to my family, folks.
Ah, maybe BEING in the same space is a larger pressure. When the computer is between, we can choose not to be visible. We can choose when and how to interact. It’s harder for folks to intrude too deeply into our space.
We literally can turn them off.
Hmm
Perhaps I see the pc just as a tool that can help give that helping hand, not as something that’s between us so it becomes ‘easier’ to commit. I am in the same space when interacting through the pc, on the phone, sitting next to a friend in a restaurant etc.
But of course, I have a small town mentality anyway π
Karin H
Hi Karin!
The computer has given more resources to offer. I know so many more people in this world community than I ever did before I got here. So I can offer so much more to my friends when they need help.
That’s exactly it, Liz π and vice-versa of course, cause how many post written about ‘life’ friends encounter can help our pc friends?
PC friends, ‘life’ friends, all come together π
When we’re all looking to each other to give and receive help without self-consciousness, then we’ll have the power of WE. yeah!!
I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread! Thank you Liz,Karin and Jesse.
Shakespeare said “Most friendship is feigning”
But does it still??
John,
What a great thing to say!
Thanks!
Hi Ramkarthik,
Shakespeare may have been right that friendship was pretending, but in the blogosphere relationship has little room for pretense. We can click on to elsewhere, why would we waste our energy pretending?
I agree with you Liz.It was those olden days that Shakespeare said.
Hey Liz,
Your blog is so inspiring. Whenevr I see ur new post, I get charged up to publish one myself π
Thanks much Liz.
-Chinmay
“they donΓΒ’Γ’Β¬ÒΒΒ’t call me or each other”.
It seems clear to me. This isn’t about blogging, but about writing. About correcting typos, about considering points, about editing extraneous stuff, about .. thinking what the listener/reader will hear. About spending time with others, getting to know them, about building trust.
Each time we share our thoughts, especially in writing, we let others know what we feel strongly about, what we value. In writing we have the opportunity to return to their words, to review what was said — strengthening the impact of those words, even if we don’t actually re-read them.
In writing, whether letters or blogging, we try to be consistent, establish a moral meeting ground, a convergence of ethics. Liz, your blog is supportive. Your choice of topics, what you express tends to nurture those that visit. You interact with those that behave similarly. It is no surprise to me that when someone notices you helping someone, through a written reference to a kindly act, that others are less reluctant to also ask for help. Acknowledging other’s abilities and helpfulness brings up your entire community.
I think what you are seeing is a combination, of your good nature, and written exchange. For years teachers and scholars have lamented the death of personal letter writing. I contend you are seeing that social ‘ray of sunshine’ reborn as blogging. The tools work, it is the craftsman that produces.
Thanks for a wonderful experience!
Wow! Brad K, what thought you bring to this discussion.
Thank you for your kind words. They leave me smiling as I write this. But just as important are the points you make . . .
Words in writing for everyone to see do day something so loudly and hold a power that make words said once and remembered seem to fade with time, leaving us to wonder whether we heard them correctly.
I do agree that blogs have brought back the best of personal letter writing. They’ve also brought some of us to focus on our values and the meaning of our lives.
We’re having better thoughts and doing better thinking. You just changed the conversation, proving that point beautifully.
Thank you for offering me a wonder and a discovery. π
Chimay,
That is the coolest comment! Thank you!
Like i’ve been saying .. “it’s always good to be in the blogosphere”, yet I agree that through it i’ve re-discovered my passion for writing.
Just an off topic request… can I have my blogosphere “family” think strong thoughts tomorrow.. competing in my first show with Alle (she’s done it before… she’s teaching me!):)
see you on the other side
GP in Montana
My friend Lans had a similar experience recently with us, his Twitter friends, after he got stung by a scorpion. Here is his post:
http://www.hoboslanding.com/?p=18
GP,
I’m glad you’ll have Alle with you. She’ll keep you going in the right direction. Please remember to breathe. We want you to have a ‘safe home.’
Liz who doesn’t want GP conceptualizing a “girl with horse” movie climax scene
Hi Shaine,
Yeah, we are amazing. The Internet does alway our better nature to come out quickly. Thanks for this example.
Great to see you again!
Liz my love… You’re simply amazing. I know you say that I don’t have to thank you anymore but I really do.
Or maybe I need to thank the Universe for finally getting our paths to cross? π
It’s funny that you talk about stuff like this here (and on the phone) because I’ve really tried to think a lot about stuff like this myself lately.
I think the “spirit of blogiving” comes from the fact that most blogs are developed in an attempt to share what we know in terms of wisdom, knowledge, and life experience. It’s a natural progression to take that from the blog to email to the telephone. In “offline life” there’s nothing there to get that ball rolling most of the time…
Hi Lara!
Thank you. You are a joy.
Everyone is amazing — if we look close enough. Just as every flower, every sunset, every thing that is part of nature and humanity. π
You’re right . . . nothing to get the ball rolling . . . because we’re afraid of each other in person? . . . because we’ve been taught it’s not right? . . . because there are people looking at us? . . . because we might make a mistake? . . . because it’s hardeer to tell who thinks like we do?
Hmmmmm so many reasons we should be able to fix.
I like the part about blogging bringing back the art of “personal letter writing”. So true. Historically, the written word was the only form of communication and intelligent discourse. When you put it in writing it comes from your soul and it is real.
Finally, the past and future can become one together.
Hi Carma!
I do too! Writing usually forces to think more complete and more organized thoughts. We realize that putting it in writing means that people will be able to keep what we say and show it to others. That makes us take a little more care. π
Yes, I agree writing is our history and our future.
greetings … well not only did i breathe.. I got out of the “kitchen” and out of Alle’s way.. Most of all the friendship at shows is awesome.
http://fishcreekhouse.blogspot.com/2007/06/you-have-to-get-out-of-your-kitchen.html
YEA GP!
Congratulattions! Sounds like you and Alle had a most successful day!