Interview 9.3: Tammy's Biggest Challenge, Her Wish, and Her Advice

How Does One Mediate from a Blog?

Dr. Tammy Lenski is an author, coach/consultant, teacher/trainer, mediator, and runs her practice both in the 3-d World and in the blogosphere. We talked about challenges, issues, and wishes her practice brings her.

Hi, Tammy! What do you find is your biggest business challenge as a mediator?

Conflict is uncomfortable and scary and preferably avoided by a lot of people. Even the word makes some people cringe. As a mediator and coach, I get to see the truly life-changing transformations that take place when a person steps up to her most difficult conversations with the support of someone who knows how to navigate these conversations effectively. But people who havenÃ¢â¬â¢t tried that have no real basis on which to really understand how they can transform their lives. Every time a client says to me, Ã¢â¬ÅYou just changed my life,Ã¢â¬Â I tell them to go out and tell that to 10 people they know!

What are the most important issues in your work?

I see people disempowering themselves every time they blame the other person for the conflict. When we blame the other person and tell ourselves they need to change or fix what they caused, we hand all our power to them. And if they donÃ¢â¬â¢t think itÃ¢â¬â¢s their fault (they usually donÃ¢â¬â¢t), then weÃ¢â¬â¢re stuck because weÃ¢â¬â¢ve made it their job to fix it. There are such straightforward ways to get beyond the blame game and IÃ¢â¬â¢d love to see more people doing themÃ¢â¬âfrom our countryÃ¢â¬â¢s leaders down to the people at our own dinner tables.

What do you wish for?

I wish for a culture where people donÃ¢â¬â¢t wait until conflictÃ¢â¬â¢s really entrenched and stuck before they think about asking for some help. I wish for the telephone call that begins, Ã¢â¬ÅA co-worker (or spouse, etc.) and I have gotten into a bit of a difficult place with each other and before it gets really messy, I thought IÃ¢â¬â¢d get some guidanceÃ¢â¬Â¦Ã¢â¬Â At the risk of sounding trite, world peace begins with every individual.

One last thing before we go, what advice would have for folks starting out?

Find your voice. Figure out whatÃ¢â¬â¢s unique about you and be bold and tenacious in bringing that to the world.

That Tammy Lenski, she knows how to have a conversation. Doesn’t she? I can’t help but learn when I listen to her.

–ME “Liz” Strauss