feelings, truth, and potential.
At age 20, I used to get tied up in knots about who I was. I wanted to be authentic, true to myself in every action, every feeling, every breath that I took.
Part of the problem was that I lived in my head. I over-thought the idea.
I understood that it’s rare to feel one emotion purely. Love, joy, happiness, a bit of fear, some nostalgia, a touch of kindness, or maybe a bit of insecurity, anger, forgiveness, compassion; some understanding, some hurt, some sadness, love unrequited, other “stuff” — emotions seem to come mostly in groups that can’t be sorted out.
I wondered if I feel 10% forgiveness and 60% hurt is the forgiveness any less me? Couldn’t I choose to focus on either one and still be true to who I am?
That’s when I would get confused. I had no metric to decide which feeling to go with. If I chose a “positive” feeling or one that is other-centered was I being a “people pleaser”? If I chose a “negative” one, was I being selfish?
I was only 20. I didn’t have much life experience from which to draw. It was probably frustration that made me realize that my focus on the present was keeping me confounded. Finally, I looked to the future.
Once my focus turned to Who do I want to be? Being true to myself suddenly became easy.
When I need a decision on how to act, I put my faith in the person I want to be. What would she do? How would she feel about this? The person I aspire to become became my role model and my counsel.
My truth became firmly footed in the other-centered person I hope to become. My journey found a direction and a purpose, a heading toward the person I could possibly be. I’ll never reach her, because every moment I imagine that potential as slightly more.
It’s the knowing that I’m going in the right direction that counts.
How do you find personal truth? How do you reach for your potential?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Check out the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.
Related
Change the World: Truth and Humility
https://www.successful-blog.com/1/personal-identity-what-is-humility/
Morning Liz
This is pretty ‘deep’ stuff π Don’t know really, know only I don’t feel it the way you do. Like to feel grounded in the present with all my ‘successes’ and failures.
Typical though, just yesterday I re-found a picture of myself (canoeing holiday in Sweden, many years ago) I really liked. The way – rested, really in the present – enjoying that moment right that moment – , relaxed and ‘at peace’ with myself I look in that picture brought something home to me: that’s me – truly me, at my best π
So that’s where I want to be: grounded, relaxed and ‘at peace’ with myself everyday, not just on that absolutely fabulous holiday.
Karin H. (Keep It simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
Oh Karin!
I suspect why you don’t feel as I do could be firmly rooted in the fact that you have no obsessive need to over-analyze ever tiny moment of experience until the turnipy blood seeps out. π
I’m so laughing at myself.
Apparently I do better when I can see myself from the outside.
Hi Liz
I wouldn’t take that for granted though. I am known to over-analyse everything, not just experiences π
Karin H.
Hi Karin,
I wonder what you over-analyze that I don’t. That would be interesting to find out. π
Hi Liz
(Not sure if this belong in this post, but here goes:)
What about facts and figures (drill-down to the last known aspect of any statistic), the way someone says something (what did he/she really mean), if we implement this or that idea/plan/suggestion what is the real effect of it (stats again?) and when would we know? This or that news-article, what would be the real impact of that in the long run?
Trust me, how many times I’m being told to stop before ‘I hurt myself’ are uncountable. I’ve learned to stop and take things more at face-value now (and peaceful that is!)
Karin H.
Knowing what’s true to you is totally appropriate to this post. π
Learning to see what’s around us at face value is also a learning that fits in this thread. π
I love where our thinking takes us.
Hi Liz
When I saw that pictures yesterday I planned to write a post about it, perhaps ‘tackle’ it with the face behind the blog meme that’s going around.
Funny, not, that a ‘blast from the past’ (13 years ago) can have such an important impact – realisation really – of what I truly want to become again. Know I’m partly there, otherwise I wouldn’t have recognised it for what it is (now is that face-value or not?) π
Karin H.
Hi Karin,
Wow, your comment says so much. A moment of life in which we experience ourselves completely and as a whole is something to want to hold onto. To me, it is “in the moment” and “potential” at the same time.
ItΓΒ’Γ’Β¬ÒΒΒ’s what Csikszentmihalyi named “Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience.” ItΓΒ’Γ’Β¬ÒΒΒ’s above MaslovΓΒ’Γ’Β¬ÒΒΒ’s pyramid, a place where we lose all self-consciousness and sense of time. It is where I walking toward. Wrap that up with my core values and you have the me that I want to be.
I hear you Liz. Seems we’re on ‘the same page’ again after all π
Karin H.
[blush] Seems that way doesn’t it. π
Liz,I can’t comment very good on this because Im not even 20 yet.Im only 17.Also at this time,I dont get any such things in mind.Maybe because Im concentrated on a particular work.So No Comments from my side.
Ramkarthik
That’s an authentic response if I ever heard one. It’s like you know who you are. π
Liz,you say that my response is a genuine one?Maybe.Im actually inexperienced.Thats why I join in blogs like yours.It gains me experience.If I have experience,Ill get confidence.If I get confidence,Im surely going to achieve something great in my life.Thanks for your wonderful blog posts.
Ramkarthik, your last comment shows great experience already!
Genuine!
Karin H.
Thanks Karin.Those are the things I learnt from and still learning from blogs,books etc.And indeed Liz’s blog is one among them.
Excellent questions.
From someone coser to 50 than 40, I’d say practice reflection. I analyze or overanalyze in the moment, then put stuff in the back of my head.
The back of my head has no words or conscious direction to it. Stuff goes there to find connections with the other stuff in the back of my head.
Sometimes things jump out from the back of my head into my conscious thoughts. More often, presonal truths emerge when I’m “emptying out the back of my head”.
I “empty out the back of my head” at least a couple of times a year (my birthday and towards the end of the year).
Catherine
Hi Catherine!
Welcome to the conversation!
Silence and reflection are so important. I’m with you there. π
I often spend time alone in the spaces with no words before I write. It’s a wonderful place to find myself. π
Thank you for reminding me of those thoughts.
To be honest??
I find personal truth by finding someone clear and clean. Like yourself. And I listen VERY carefully to what they mirror back to me.
Your call today was a joy! What a wonderful surprise! Thanks, Liz!
Hey Sean,
Those are the best words.
Thanks so much for saying them.
Joy is especially one of my favorites. π
Coming in late in the day here…been a bit long I’m afraid.
Liz, I really enjoyed your begining post, especially your thouoght about thinking as you would like to be more than who you see yourself to be at that moment. That’s an excellent move toward being where you want to be.
Please excuse the change in the trend of thought but, your brief note on forgiveness struck a nerve. This is one of those places where we all seem too selfish.
I wrote a short prayer on this once but, have lost it somewhere. The point of the brief intreat was that the joy of giving is best known when the gift is forgiveness. It began, “I am for giving”…and concluded “the most joy in giving is in forgiving”.
The point, of course, is that forgiveness is more beneficial and better intended for the grantor than the forgiven. It sets us free of a burden when don’t need. It releases the grantor from griping what needs no hold.
Now it is late and more would be less.
Hi John!
Thank you for your thought on becoming more, and for sharing your prayer on forgiveness. I’m sorry it’s been msiplaced, but I can see that the meaning of it is still in your heart. For giveness, I like that. π
Liz, that’s pretty amazing advice. It’s a great reminder to me where to place my focus. To extend beyond ourselves, we surely need to set goals beyond our boundaries. If we don’t, how else would we exceed our own expectations, how else would we take life beyond where we found it?
Liz,
Your post rang so true to me – but through a completely different catalyst.
When I was 20, I had the same confusions – who was I, really? Was that person okay or a huge waste of potential? It was paralyzing.
Then, 3 months before my 21st birthday, I delivered a beautiful baby girl. When I looked at her, I thought of all the things she could be and thankfully realized her best chance was my example.
Now I have four beautiful daughters. And I still dream for them. And I still know that their best chance is me. The “who do I want to be” not only became freeing, it became essential.
Hi Vernun,
I must admit that at first I chose a role model that was a person I admired, not someone famous someone close to me. Then I begam collect traits from every person I knew, because each had something that I wished I could make a part of “the future me.” I’m still working on it as you know. π
Hello April!
Welcome to the conversation!
A child is an amazing addition to a parent’s life for the changes he or she brings — the ones we don’t expect. What a gift you found in your daughter and by so, what a gift she got in you. π
Future me! wow, how cool is that…
It inspired me to post about this instead of something else I had in mind.
Liz inspires me to post about the future me!
Hi Vernon!
I inspired you! How cool is THAT!!!!???
Well you all have both inspired me and will be tagged in the related, upcoming blog!! It’s the new meme – the “Opi”
Oh April,
Thank you . . . I think. π
No, thank you – that was a fantastic exercise – and you have been tagged..
http://aprilgroves.com/makinglifeworkforyou/2007/06/12/the-new-meme-its-the-opi/
Hi April,
I’ll be over to check it out. π