about responsible social media.
Sounds like safe sex, doesn’t it? I know you can get past that.
What I’ve been thinking about is a conversation I had with a dear friend, Jon Swanson, about 3 weeks ago. I had called Jon because I didn’t understand changes I saw happening among my friends. Jon, in his wisdom, pointed out something that keeps returning to me still.
What Jon said recalled this image to my mind and sounded something like this …
What makes social media business different is it’s twofold nature. We have to manage for the business and the brand, but we can’t lose sight that we make personal relationships with real human beings.
That’s the difference, isn’t it?
Most customer relationships stay in the head. Good ones make us feel smart, but the personal touch of a social media champion gets us to invest with more than our thoughts. Isn’t that what makes social media so powerful, so collaborative? Isn’t that what gets us to think we can change the world or at least how business works?
Folks looking on might think that starting out in social media is the hardest part.
But the longer I watch the more I know that holding dear the investments that people make in us as we grow is the tough nut to crack. Anyone who’s gone from ten friends to a hundred knows that time doesn’t stretch to accommodate the same level of giving back.
It’s the choices we make as we grow that determine whether social media stays centered on personal relationships or turns into a “Hollywood” sort of community of friends.
Real people understand that as we grow we have less time to sit with them. Who doesn’t get that? Who doesn’t wish the best for their friends? They want to enjoy the ride with us, not be left behind and wondering where we went.
Responsible social media respects that real people are investing back one at time.
Real people want to know that a good “friend” doesn’t change when “he, she, or the business” gets bigger than life. It’s not hard to show that. Just keep acting the same to real individuals one at a time and core fans will know that when it’s their turn again, you’ll still be there for them.
The key understanding is that real people come in ones.
Could you add your ideas about responsible social media and would you pass this on, please?
–ME “Liz” Strauss
Image: WendyPiersall photo: SOBCon08
Want to be successful in social media? Work with Liz.
This is great Liz, really good stuff.
You’re hitting a sweet (sore?!) spot here… that as social media marketing gets more and more commonplace, we must be careful never to forget that it is in its nature highly relational… nothing like SEO.
Altho many people seem to speak of SEO and social media marketing in the same breath, they’re absolutely poles apart, to the degree that one is entirely relational and the other is almost entirely not!
The problem I think we face is that the most aggressive SEO guys are the ones looking more and more curiously over into the social media camp (coz we get results too), and they risk coming in without the “respect for the people”.
Hope I’m not just repeating what you’ve already said.
Cheers,
-Alister
Interesting stuff. So, following on from Alister’s comment, I see two related challenges
– How to make Social Media Marketing scale?
– As Social Media Marketing becomes more commonplace, do we have to continually ‘raise the bar’ in order to continue to have the impact we enjoyed at the beginning? Will consumers become resistant to SMM?
Peter
Alister,
You make a great point that folks need to keep aware of — that the intangible / relational is easily lost on folks who are only looking for the numerical. And it can seem to work … for a while. I appreciate you taking the time to chime in, what I hear is harmony, not the same song and verse.
Hi Liz!
You make a great point about respect, and how people change. Be it from number of friends, time constraints, or changing perspectives, we each handle it in a different way.
As we adapt to these changing inputs, it probably becomes evident to our early online friends and connections that our interaction is different. It’s important that we realize this and work to regain that balance that allows us to continue to respect others changing worlds as well.
Anyway, that’s my take on it. I know I keep experiencing time and workload issues offline that challenge me to balance my online participation in better ways. I’m constantly learning on that front.
Kind Regards,
Rick
Liz,
This is awesome. I think we’ve all heard this discussion pop up a couple of times, and I’ve had a couple of questions about this type of topic.
“How do I engage?”
“What exactly is Social Networking/ Media?”
It will be interesting to see if this level of comfort that we all have with the Social Networking can effect some changes on Traditional Networking and Marketing.
I don’t imagine that marketers will give every person a hug, but maybe the new model will make marketers be a little more connected.
Liz,
For me the “business” and “personal” blur together and that’s a good thing.
I was on the phone last night with Grant Griffiths, who you know.
We were scheduled to talk about business, but 90% of the conversation was about his son, my son, and the appreciation we have for the personal relationships we’ve developed in our social media cirlces.
Social media gives us all the opportunity to create a type of intimatacy that is hard to replicate in our offline relationships: We see photos, posts, tweets, stumbles – all this gives us a deeper “view” into each other’s lives.
John
This is such a good post. I sit in my little corner of the bloggy world and wonder at those who are “big names” — how they do it and do it well.
But the “big name” bloggers I read and find that I really like and respect are those that have that authenticity of voice. They really do care about their readers and their audience no matter what the size may be.
Social media is truly all about conversation. The subject of the convo can and will change (like any convo in real life), but the essence stays the same.
Good post, Liz! Hope you had a great 25th anniversary with hubs. Be proud of making it through all those years together!
Interesting questions here Liz.
Some thoughts… different people will have different scales. Some can manage a very large network and still feel connected (just as in ‘real’ life) whereas others might start to feel it was superficial and lacking sufficent depth. We need to work out what works for us.
Responsibility works both ways – the champion, and the fans. We need to be realistic about our expectation of those we look up to.
One thing social media is good for – you can keep an eye out for friends and if you pick up a signal that things are not as they should be… that’s the time to invest a bit more. But a lot of the time it’s okay to let things be.
Hi Liz
One of the things I really love about ‘social media’ is the way you can start a one-on-one conversation with anyone who’s interested in your subject. And funnily enough that conversation starts in automated email follow-ups 😉
If you take/make the effort to write your ‘standard’ follow-up messages as a one-on-one conversation invite (and not as a sales letter/hype) the chances are rather high your invite will be accepted unconditional.
No need to be a big name in social media, focus on one person (albeit automated – yes, it is possible) at the time will give you more chance to interact with each other.
Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)
I totally agree with this. It’s often hard to tell how “real” someone is being in social media. When they reach out to you, is it simply to grow a network, or does a real relationship develop. Automation in SN is the kiss of death. Be real, and humble, and transparent, and you win.
Great post!
The most important part of being a part of a social network is the relationships. Connecting with people to talk about what they are doing or how they are doing is more important to me than business talk.
It’s who you are, not what you do, that matters to me.
Johanna, I 100% agree, we need to remember that the champions are human too. Everyone needs a break sometime to recharge their batteries. And that’s completely normal and okay.
Hi, Liz. I’m very flattered that you considered my original post of interesting, and capable of lending value to your own post here.
We’ve never met, and we haven’t ever exchanged Tweets. However, I read your work and follow your remarks.
Despite what some might see as a rather shallow relationship, I believe that people, their sensitivities, gifts, and needs are very important to you. That you tune in to pressure points, motivations, and talents of those who intrigue and matter to you. Your writing encourages us to stay true to the real underlying value that technology has enabled–a connection to people, their perspectives, their voices, their unique thumbprints.
Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to continue making the most of what life and relationships have offered us.
Hi Rick,
In the same way that we don’t remember time, we remember moments. We don’t remember crowds we remember the people we meet one by one. Our conversation at SOBCon at lunch was more important than anything I might have said to the group … because I got to hear what you were thinking too.
That’s just it, John,
The better we know each other, the better we can serve, the better choices we can make on each other’s behalf.
Business becomes more predictable when we know the people we’re doing business with. 🙂
Great post Liz. Always reminds me, an aging boomer, that only the methods have changed and may be clipped to 140char. Caring for readers or customers and friends has always been all about the relationship. Smart salespeople of goods or ideas know that the other party always is there and sticks when you follow the Golden Rule.
Hi Marianne,
Everyone I know who does it well, works really hard and sometimes drops the ball too. That’s the human part of it.
Great leaders always care about people as individuals … one by one.
Thank you for remembering my event this week. That’s so nice of you.
Hi Joanna,
I take so much from your thoughts, especially that different people have different expectations of the relationship from the very start. What a nice way to call for consistency and (a word I’m hearing a lot today) respect.
I know you see each of the people who you talk with as individuals. It shows in every action and word.
Thank you for mentioning that relationships have responsibilities on both sides. Yeah, we can do our part too.
And, as you say, sometimes the best support is to watch and trust that all is well.
Hi Karin,
My experience with automated messages hasn’t been as positive as yours. What I’ve found is that I get no response at all when I reply to them.
The sad part is that I never thought a thing of the folks who sent no message at all — figured they’re as busy as I am. But now I think less of the folks who automatically say “Thanks for following. Click here.”
Heather,
You’ve commented on my blog, left your name here. It seems easy enough for me to remember that. But even more you were part of a project I spent hours putting together. That’s not easy to forget.
We make friends one person at a time. Though we haven’t shared coffee or a cell phone, we shared more than people who’ve never met. We have a history — our names are linked together.
I value that.
Hi Liz
“Click here” is not what I call a very inviting invite to start a conversation 😉
First talk, then ask 😉 (Let alone ‘command’)
Karin H
What you say is meaningful regarding one person at a time connection. If one holds their integrity high by fulfilling promises and explaining situations I believe that authentic connection is possible regardless of growth. I’d rather hear a harsh truth than a slickly written lie.
A story. I was following a name author and was about to invest heavily in one of his programs. I decided to attend one more free teleclass but it was a bust. Mostly an hour long commercial with little value given. That would have all been forgiven if my heartfelt feedback would have been heard. Unfortunately his VA decided to send me an automatic response that did not fit my comment. End of story – game over.
Hi Liz,
You’re so right! I love what you said: “The key understanding is that real people come in ones.”
Yesterday, I noticed a change in the way I interacted with my Twitter friends. Instead of just sending out quips and quotes and blog links, I focused on three of my followers, one at a time. I went to their blogs, read what they were up to and engaged in conversation with them about what makes them tick. It was FUN! I forgot about trying to “get” lots of followers. I just focused on one person and gave them my full attention for a while.
The result: we all felt the love, and without my asking they went to my website and opted-in to my weekly email newsletter.
You’ve been talking about this kind of conversation for as long as I’ve known you, but it’s starting to really hit home.
Thanks,
Todd
Social media to me is one of the few places where the human connections are the means AND the end.
I love your point about real people coming in “ones”. The more my community grows, the harder it is to keep in personal touch with each and every person, but that’s what I’m here for. It’s what makes it matter, what makes it worth it. Without those connections, I’m just a silly blogger talking to myself. And when the blog goes away and the computer crashes and Twitter disappears, I will still have and cherish very real, very human relationships that feed my soul.
Such a great post. Thank you.
Liz, you get to the heart of it all – the huge value of the personal touch goes way beyond relating to just social media.
#16 Yeah Rob,
Relationships are the heart. We don’t count them; we value them. Exactly. They’re what good business folks always have held close.
#21 Karin!
Yeah, I guess we’re on the same page after all. Junk is junk. 🙂
People are people. Hedgehogs know the difference. 🙂
Hi Tom,
I would have gone through exactly the same process. Wow! When they’re too big to listen, they’re too big to get my attention too. Glad you found out that he or she didn’t care before you put your money down.
Wow! Todd!
That sounds spectacular. Bet it was some fun and satisfying for everyone … even the folks who were just watching and listening in.
Think of how many new Twitter folks learned by seeing that. Thank you for letting me know about it.
Amber,
You would never be one silly blogger, but I know one very dear relationship at this end of the keyboard that I am grateful for.
Thank you for being a person who can count by ones.
Hi Paul,
It takes a heart to hear one.
Thank you.
Hi Liz,
Yeah, it was awesome. And I’m still having fun today on Twitter. Just being friendly, getting to know people. Looking at their blogs and stuff. Today a lady I just met yesterday on Twitter asked if I could do a photography show in her town.
The more of this I experience, the more I realize that this is precisely what was missing in Web 1.0 : People! It was all just numbers.
Thanks for cluing me in. 🙂
Hi Liz
We’re on the same page, just in another business 😉
Don’t forget we are a ‘brick and mortar’ business who use social media tools to connect and interact with our prospects and clients.
Where honest two-way conversation can start with an automated “thank you” message – simple courtesy – but that’s just the start of building trust.
That’s part of our hedgehog concept anyway 😉
Karin H.
Liz,
Can’t wait for SOBCon09!
John
Here I am… late to the party. But still happy to be here.
It has been a rough week for me, this past one. I’ve been pondering a lot of things about Social Media myself. How much of it is ‘just business’ for some people… How do I ‘grow a thicker skin’ so that it doesn’t hurt so much when something I thought was more a meaningful connection turns out to be less so to the other party… How do I handle the fact that Social Media so often blurs the lines between business and friendship…
So many questions.
Silly me should’ve realized that you were probably tackling that over here too. It’s been an interesting learning process finding out that so many of us go through similar stages simultaneously – examining our beliefs, our methods, and our perspectives.
I will continue to ponder much of what I’m working at in my own head – but I like everything you’ve had to say here Liz. It rings so true. 🙂
Thanks!! ((hug))
I completely agree, this is a sore spot. Social media by it’s very nature, to be effective, demands the relationship aspect — on a one-on-one basis. You can’t fake that or automate it 🙂 Good stuff Liz.