“Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.”
—Peter Ustinov
I like people.
I mean as a general principle.
Oh, sure. There are some folks that I really would rather not be around. But mostly I like hanging out with other people.
In my book there is nothing better than hanging out with a couple people either over a good meal, or perhaps in a big cushy chair with some coffee and shooting the breeze. It doesn’t much matter to me whether we are solving the world’s problems – politics, religion, famine, disaster, war, WordPress vs. TypePad – or just simply making small talk, either way I’m for a good round of jawing most times.
So when it comes down to it, I’m all about friends.
Friend Defined
Who is a friend? I mean there are friends and there are Friends, if you know what I mean.
There are folks in my life that I can call and have a chat with. And there are others that I could say, “Hey, I need a kidney” and they’d be right over.
It’s the difference between small ‘f’ friends and capital ‘F’ Friends.
A friend will get with you when it is convenient. A Friend will rearrange their schedule for you.
A friend will tell you what they think you want to hear. A Friend will tell you what they think you need to hear.
A friend will expect you to always be the one to call. A Friend will sometimes call you for no real reason other than to say, “Hi.”
A friend might expect some reciprocity when they do something nice. A Friend just is nice (and gets the reciprocity anyway).
You get the idea.
Longevity vs. Likability
And that brings up an interesting question.
Which are the friends that are most dear to us? The ones we like the most? Or the ones we’ve known the longest?
I think it takes a pretty big likability rating for a friend to stick around. Don’t you?
It is almost like they are two sides of the same coin.
I don’t know that it is an either or. Perhaps the ones we like the best are the ones who’ve been around the longest.
But ultimately I think the friends we like the best are, well, they’re the ones we like most. No matter how long they’ve been around.
Contrary to what Mr. Ustinov said, I don’t think an early arrival automatically equals the highest quality friend. Our lives ebb and flow. Different people are at times woven into our life tapestry. Some are there for the duration.
Others fade away over time.
I don’t thing there is necessarily a correlation. But that’s just the Way I C it.
–Chris Cree, SuccessCREEations.