Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

Thinking, writing, business ideas … You’re only a stranger once.

September 24, 2007

9 Sure-Fire Ways to Kill Credibility (BANG!) at a Live Networking Event

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 9:05 am

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I’ve been writing on demand for years. I was a teacher. I have a background in theater. Writer’s block and stage fright are distant enemies I’ve since made friends with. Hand me a keyboard, a pencil, a microphone — even a headset or a telephone — I can find my way to an intelligent, dynamic conversation, . . . but put me in a roomful of networking professionals, and I’m not exactly in my element.

What skill I have at live networking is not a natural talent, it’s something I’ve earned.

You could say I am an ex-kamikaze networker. I found too many ways to kill my credibility in the past. Since then, I’ve seen even more — some so amazing they should be on YouTube today. I’m going to share the 9 credibility-killers that I find to be guaranteed.

9 Sure-Fire Ways to Kill Credibility (BANG!) at a Live Networking Event

If you are out to kill your credibility, here are nine great ways to do it.

  1. Come as you are. Whatever the event, wherever the location, show up dressed in your signature duds. Of course, the iridescent tank top will stand out in a room of tuxedos, but if they judge you by that why would you work with them? Simply assume when you don’t draw the rock star crowd you might expect that the room is standing in awe.


    2. Or you might show your respect and dress appropriately. It’s one way to show that you understand that different situations call for different responses.

  2. Bring someone who has no reason or desire to be at the event. When you introduce your guest, encourage him or her to talk first. After all, the people you meet have been networking chat all night. Their gratitude (ahem) for your forethought in providing the irrelevant conversation will show.


    3. Or you might trust yourself (and the group) and show the confidence of attending on your own. Your motivation to meet possible colleagues will be higher and their interest in you will be stronger if they understand that you don’t need a “date.”

  3. Let everyone know how you feel. If you’re shy, as I am, put the SELF in self-conscious. Tell everyone how nervous you are. If you’re merely uncomfortable, share that too. You’ll understand when folks have “needs” of their own . . . to be elsewhere.


    4. Or you might shift your focus from how you feel to the people in the room. Some idea, cause, or working relationship binds the people in the room together. How might you use that to ask an intriguing question that will get other folks to talk?

  4. Know what you came to get. Networking events are about meeting people who can do things for you. Come with plan of how you can take advantage of everyone of them and make it clear that’s why you’re there. The folks you meet will be grateful for your honesty. It will save them time of finding out how selfish you are.


    5. Or you might know what you came to offer. Networking is far more effective when we have something to offer. How often has it been said that it’s better to give than receive?

  5. Talk the talk liberally — buzzwords show you belong. No one really wants to talk business. Stick with the lingo. That way, from the start, everyone you meet will be able to see that deep down inside you can be shallow as shallow as you assume they are.


    6. Or you might assume that people have given up their time precisely to meet and talk business. Folks who network tend to be curious learners who invest their own time. They are likely to know more about the business they are in than most folks in their field.

  6. Stick to your agenda. When someone offers you the floor to tell what you do, hit your talking points like a politician. Make sure that you get every point across that you test your listener on them all. The impression that will leave is guaranteed to be a “killer.”


    7. Or you might try listening at least as much as you speak. Networking is about conversation and the exchange of ideas.

  7. Keep an eye on the room. Whether you’re shaking hands to say hello or involved in a conversation, you’re too important to let one person monopolize your attention for too long. Each event is limited in time and scope. Keep an eye out for those other someones you absolutely must meet. If necessary, interrupt what you’re doing if you spot someone across the room.


    8. Or you might realize that one solid connection is worth more than 50 acquaintances any day. By listening well on an initial meeting, you’re much more likely that a potential client will return the interest and think of you as someone with whom he or she might want to work.

  8. Act like you know people and things that you don’t. Then try to piggyback on every person’s network you might. Drop the names of famous people you might have met, but didn’t. Spout information about your industry that you don’t really know enough to talk about. No one will be listening to notice your bluff. No worries. No conversation you have will last more than five minutes or so.


    9. Or you might show that what you know and who knows what you know is more important. sooner or later, people always find out when they have been oversold.

  9. Do be sure to take advantage of the free hospitality. The wine and cheese are there for you. It would be wasteful not to do your part. Besides, a little more alcohol could make the night easier and your stories more entertaining — especially the ones that involve people in the network who are worth gossiping about. Great story tellers of that sort always have a long life.


    10. Or you might start working on a reputation for never passing on stories and for always being cordially enthusiastic and in control. People wonder, if you pass on a story about someone, what story you will be telling about them.

If you’re an overachieve who wants to tackle all nine credibility killers in one fell swoop — just make everything at the event about YOU.

However, if your goal is to enjoy and prosper at future live networking events, you might find that things get easier if take the “Or” options and make everything about the other people in the room. Any day is brighter (and every career is stronger) when you don’t kill your credibility the night before.

Have you ever crashed and burned at a networking event . . . or am I the only ex-kamikaze networker I know?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!





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32 Comments to “9 Sure-Fire Ways to Kill Credibility (BANG!) at a Live Networking Event”

  1. September 24th, 2007 at 11:01 am
    Karin H. said

    Hi Liz

    I’m a network ‘junky’ nowadays - after learning the hard way ;-)
    For even more sure ways to succeed during/at/with networking I recently read an excellent book: The Jelly Effect. It’s covers more than just networking, but some very great tips in there.

    Also, my dear friend Rich has just written an excellent post (synchronicity again?) on what you should expect as the result from networking: a cup of coffee

    Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

  2. September 24th, 2007 at 11:26 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin!
    I was just on the telephone “networking” with our friend, Jason. I learned so much talking to him. The way I do talking to you. I love people . . . :)

  3. September 24th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
    b5media - Killing Your Business Softly… and Effectively said

    [...] Finally, once you’ve made your business successful, you have to work to destroy your credibility – but it can be done. Check out Successful Blog’s tips to kill your credibility at a live networking event. [...]

  4. September 24th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
    Sheila at Family Travel said

    I’m actually an introvert and prefer one-on-one or my own company to crowds, but I’ve learned that if I make a beeline for one of the people in the room who looks uncomfortable, and then I say hello and try to draw them out, I end up having the most interesting conversations.

    Great post, Liz. I firmly believe that live networking with air-breathers still beats networking online (in the aggregate) so I’ve figured out how to do it in an enjoyable way.

    And, OK, I’m one of those who arms herself with a glass of wine. :)

  5. September 24th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Sheila!
    I’m the same kind of networker as you are. I used to avoid events where I knew there wouldn’t be anyone I’d met before. Now I think of it as a chance to make one really good friend. :)

  6. September 24th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
    108 (and Counting) of the Worst Things to Do in Business said

    [...] 9 Sure-Fire Ways to Kill Credibility (BANG!) at a Live Networking Event [...]

  7. September 24th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
    James said

    Maybe sum it all up by being honest, courteous, and confident?

  8. September 24th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
    Beware: Bad Business at b5media Today! - Liz Strauss at Successful Blog - Thinking, writing, business ideas . . . You’re only a stranger once. said

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  9. September 24th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
    Brock Henderson said

    Liz,

    That is a great piece. If I get on my knees and beg will you allow me to use it in a future newsletter? Full credit will be given of course.

    Thanks,

    Brock

  10. September 24th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi James!
    I think that’s a great summary. It’s also a great philosphy of life. I’m going to be thinking about that on the way to my meeting this afternoon. Thanks! :)

  11. September 24th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Brock,
    Welcome! No knees required. Though the thought is appreciated. Thank you for asking. I’m honored by the request. Please feel free to send me a copy after you do. :)

  12. September 24th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
    Mike Ambrose said

    These are awesome. Awesome awesome awesome! I’d been thinking of doing a post on great networking methods… and here it is!

  13. September 24th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
    Sara said

    You know, Liz, this reminds me of something Barbara Walters and I were discussing just a few months ago…

    Ha! I love name-droppers…they’re always so obvious and they amuse me to no end. And I love this post! It gave me quite a nice laugh and I really needed it.

    I work in IT and boy did that buzzwords point hit home. New-ish IT professionals seem to think that if they chat up the boss about their new WiFi setup or GPS for their car they’ll win big points.

    Whenever I catch a snatch of conversation like that I get that icky “embarrassed” feeling in my stomach as though I’ve said something wrong, even though I’m not the one saying it.

    I thought your point about listening was great, too. Some people get so nervous about having to talk in front of groups that you can spot them a mile away, rehearsing their “about me” speech in their heads.

    Great list, Liz!

    Sara

  14. September 24th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
    Valeria Maltoni said

    I love this post! Let’s frame it ;-)

    Of course there are accomplished networkers who manage to hit all 9 ways stealthily… that is if there isn’t someone in the room who gets the true spirit of showing up wholly. They might dress appropriately, talk to please, stage listening and introduce you to someone so they can move on to the next person themselves. All the while, as you say so well, it’s about them. You won’t catch their eye roaming, because what is roaming is their heart. I find that everything else can be learned by how to feel about others.

  15. September 24th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
    Valeria Maltoni said

    Oops, meant “but” instead of “by” in that last sentence.

  16. September 24th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Mike!
    Thanks. I was trying to think of what to do do at a networking event I had to attend. This blog post was a natural outcome of that. :)

  17. September 24th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Sara!
    You were talking to Barbara Walters too? Was that after we had lunch with Oprah? :)

    Your comment says that you’ve been exactly where I’ve been. Oh, how I know that icky feeling when everyone in the room knows that someone is tap dancing but the dancer doesn’t know that the room has him or her pegged. It really is embarrassing for all of us really.

    So sad, I guess, because most of us have been there . . . only we did it when we were much younger still. :)

  18. September 24th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Valeria!
    You say that so well . . . the only way to learn to care about others is to figure out is that is the only real way that they will care about you. :)

    We know that. It’s not why we care, but still we know.

  19. September 24th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
    9 Ways to Get Linked Out on LinkedIn said

    [...] 9 Sure-Fire Ways to Kill Credibility (BANG!) at a Live Networking Event [...]

  20. September 24th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
    digitalnomad said

    How about a firm handshake, engage others with eye contact, Listen more than you talk.

    Listen for people’s names (and remember it) ask again if you cannot anchor it the first time around. They will remember you for it.

    Don’t talk about yourself too much. Leave a little mystery.

  21. September 24th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
    ME Strauss said

    Hi digitnomad!
    Wow! You summed it up beautifully. Thanks! Where were you about an hour ago? There were lots of people who could have used your counsel. :)

  22. September 25th, 2007 at 2:42 am
    Karin H. said

    Listen for people’s names (and remember it) ask again if you cannot anchor it the first time around. They will remember you for it.

    Hi Digitalnomad
    Another tip on ‘remembering’ names and being remembered for remembering -
    ask for their business card, have a pen ready and scribble something - an item, subject they told you about - on the back, while saying: “Let me write this down first, so I know what you said about this later on and I can come back to you on it.”

    Karin H.

  23. September 25th, 2007 at 3:58 am
    Alina Popescu said

    I’m also quite shy and am a bit afraid of such events. But when I am in such a position, I open my ears and mind widely and only say something when I can actually add something valuable to the conversation. It works in most cases :)

  24. September 25th, 2007 at 4:49 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Karin!
    I can’t help but think of what you said earlier about becoming a networking convert. That’s a wonderful tip for getting to know someone and getting that person’s interest at that same time. Thank you for that!

  25. September 25th, 2007 at 4:51 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Alina,
    Listening is becoming more and more my lead still whenever I can remember how strong I am at it and how strong it makes me. Talking may be fun but I always end up not learning anything when I dominate the conversation. I try to remind myself that when the shy feelings start to come over me. :)

  26. September 25th, 2007 at 9:00 am
    Sara said

    Liz,

    It was after lunch with Oprah but before the Larry King interviews…

    Perhaps that’s where the icky-stomach feeling comes from - memories of when we made ourselves the tap dancers. =)

    Sara

  27. September 25th, 2007 at 9:54 am
    digitalnomad said

    I once tried to meet two new people a day. That can back fire on you if you meet the wrong people.

    It would be a powerful system though, if you make a point to follow all the info in this post.

    Also, read anything written by Dale Carnegie, like “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. That info never goes out of style.

  28. September 25th, 2007 at 11:22 am
    ME Strauss said

    Yeah, Sara, I suppose that’s exactly where that feeling comes from. :)

  29. September 25th, 2007 at 11:24 am
    ME Strauss said

    Hi Digitalnomad!
    I’ve been calling a new blogger a day now for almost a year. It’s been a powerful experience. I can’t imagine how much more it would be if I were to be doing it in person. :)

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