The Chihuahua Story
One of my favorite writing stories is man against dog story. It goes like this.
A man named, Jack, and his wife shared their home with a Chihuahua, named “Loco.” As Chihuahuas are, Loco was a nervous, little dog always moving and shaking. Loco was even more nervous, when Jack waa around because the little dog was unsure of the big man’s affection.
Every time Jack came near the creature, fearful Loco would run to the kitchen. Next would come the awful, clattery tapping, of tiny Chihuahua-dog nails on the kitchen tile floor and then the stomping of industrial workboots following after. When Jack made it to the kitchen, he would loudly say, “Stop that damn racket. Stop it NOW.”
Loco would freeze at Jack’s command, spread his back legs, and proceed to pee on the yellow and gray kitchen floor.
This event happened almost every day. Jack muttered under his breath as he cleaned it up. Who knows if Loco understood words like That dog has to go . . . if it weren’t my wife’s dog . . .?
Day after day, Loco got nervous. Jack yelled. Loco peed. Jack got mad.
Finally Jack sought help from a friend who suggested that Jack immediately put the dog’s nose in the “event,” tap his nose with a newspaper, and then set the dog outside.
“That,” the friend promised, “would help the dog connect the “event” to doing it outside.” The friend cautioned Jack that it might take a few days, but to keep at it until the dog showed progress.
Jack thought it was worth a try.
So the very next time the dog peed on the floor, Jack followed the plan. He put the dog’s nose in the “event,” tapped it with a newspaper, and threw the dog out the open kitchen window — the one right over the sink. He repeated the process each time with out missing a beat.
The dog learned.
By the fifth day, the dog knew what to do.
He peed on the floor
and jumped out the window.
Readers take from our writing what their experience tells them.
So how do we make our message as clear as possible? Let me show you.
How Content Editors Read Documents
Content editors spend one pass scouring documents for this issue only. You can do it too and markedly improve the clarity of your message. You can signficantly raise the chance that the meaning you intend is the meaning that gets through by paying attention to three typical writing problems.
1.imprecise, unusual, or ambiguous words and phrases An example might be an ususual American usage for a word I like — precious. I picked up the British usage and I can’t seem to find another word that works as well. The usage I refer to means someone is overly proud or protective of something beyond it’s worth, or something is too sweet or childishly cute, as in
This children’s book is too precious for a 5-yr-old market.
or
They’re very precious about their education system.
In the end, I edit it out of my written work, and only use it when I’m able to explain it. Without that background, ithe word is bound to mislead readers at best
2. unclear referents I wrote about these in How Evil Pronouns Cause Arguments. An example might be a work that involves a passage about two men that might mislead in this way
So he gave him some money. and he thought it wasn’t nearly enough.
Just which guy thought that it wasn’t nearly enough? Though grammar establishes which man he should refer to, can we be sure that the author meant that guy?
3. misplaced modifiers I suppose it’s because they are usually funny that these are my favorite editorial catches. Misplaced modifiers often occur in television and advertising copy. One of my favorites is
We’ll return to find out how the history of the fun was changed by the invention of a minister. (Ministers were invented?)
Better: We’ll return to see how a minister’s invention changed the history of the gun.
Often misplaced modifiers are prepositional phrases.
When I ask editors how they read to be sure that the message is clear and as intended, They often answer, “I look for what readers will get wrong.” It’s not a bad rule of thumb to follow — trying to outwit our own verbiage.
Even when readers can figure out what we mean, stopping to do so interrupts what we’re trying to say.
To be clear, look for places where you might be telling folks something that you didn’t intend or where you aren’t telling folks someething they need to know — go for clear communication. We can’t have readers jumping out kitchen windows. That just isn’t the way to build a brand or an audience of loyal readers.
(No Chihuahuas were hurt in the writing of this article. I made sure of that.)
–ME “Liz” Strauss
If you think Liz can help with a problem you’re having with your writing, check out the Work with Liz!! page in the sidebar.
Related articles
6+1, 2, 3: Save Me from Beginners and Experts NOW!
9 + 1 Things Every Reader Wants from a Writer
6+1: How-to Blogging ââ¬â Stomp Out Swiss Cheese Knowledge
Writing for Readers ââ¬â Whatââ¬â¢s My Promise as the Writer?
Cute story, Liz. Good thing that kitchen window wasn’t on the 20th floor of a high-rise 😉
But you’re right about being clear. This is a trap we all fall into one time or another. We know what we mean, it’s so very clear to us mentally, that we forget it may not be so to others.
I find this to be true in documentation on occasion, where important information is left out. The person writing it knows it so well, that he/she isn’t even aware of the omission.
Sometimes, it can help to have someone else (doesn’t have to be an editor) read the material and see if they understand fully what you wrote.
Hi Scorpia!
Yes, we all have to watch out that we know something so well, we leave out that detail that will make or break someone’s full understanding of what our point is.
I do like to have someone else read my stuff too — anyone who can do that should as often as they can. I know I do whenever I have the chance.
Hey that is great. I am glad the dog did not get hurt. I do see this from time to time and even in my own writing. Proof reading and looking for those clarifications is good.
I always like the normal and acceptable saying, “Oh he speaks good English.”
Most people say that and know what we mean but it should be said like this,” Oh he speaks English well.”
In the first case it refers to English being good and not the speaker. In the second case there is not questions as to what it taking place. 😀
Hey Steve,
You write English well, as well as you speak it. 🙂
The dog was a wiry little creature and the window wasn’t really high and the story is made up. 🙂
Hi Madam Liz, would you agree that being a capable editor means you write really well? 🙂 As a frequent contributor to two magazines, I see how my writing has been edited; and lemme tell you that a good editor can really take your writing to the next level! 😮
Hi Rico!
Thanks for coming over!
Not every excellent editor I know writes really well. Some hate writing and don’t do it at all. But they all have one thing in common — they can tell what’s right and what’s wrong from what’s just different from how they might have chosen.
Lot’s of folks get lost in the mire of thinking that if it’s not how they would do it, then it’s wrong –end of story. They might make decent writers. They make awful editors. 🙂
I do agree that a great editor can tweak just enough to take a piece up a notch — make it shine like a diamond polisher. 🙂
Exactamente! Couldn’t have said it any betterer! 🙂
Wow, Rico that last sentence there. If I’m correct you have expertly combined Spanish and the rare dialect First Gradian. Beautiful liinguistics!
Do you guys work for the CIA? Oh come on you can’t fool me lol
Why would you think that, Steve?
CIA agents are fluent in many languages and dialects and can pick it out in a heartbeat when heard. I know this stuff I saw it on Alias. LOL 😀
Or maybe YOU don’t watch TV and YOU’RE in the CIA!!!!
wow you’re good… I’ll forward you an application…
I am pret-ty clever, aren’t I?
Great article Liz!
Thanks for the tips. I like the precious example…it’s one of my favorite words too.
Funny thing…I wrote about dogs today too…dogs doing yoga to be exact! Must be something in the air?
Hahah:)
Kammie K.
Excellent points, Liz. Too many people who were taught English from the cradle write as if it’s their second language. But I won’t go there.
HI Kammie!
There is something about blogging and syncronicity that happens a lot ! Great to see you and thank so much!
Hi Carolyn,
We do have a problem the size of $3.2 billion/year — that’s what corporations spend to teach their employees how to write properly. It’s sad.
Awesome story! Sometimes I get in a rush and do not proof my work – it is a bad habit I am trying to break. Now, I am just hoping none of my readers have jumped out of the window! 🙂
Hi Kirsten!
I think you’re safe. No proofing error that I know of has turned out to be fatal. 🙂 Thanks for the comment about the story. 🙂
Phew! Good to know! 😉
I really appreciate all of your pointers and helpful tips. I am going to be writing a monthly column for an online magazine and I want to make sure that I deliver excellent material. Thanks for doing what you do! 🙂
Oh Kirsten,
Congratulations! Let us know where and when.
The feeling goes both ways. I like being able to use what I know. 😉
Thanks Liz! I will be writing for Positive Thinking Magazine – their online mag. I believe their online magzine starts in mid-Dec. I am excited. 🙂
Yea!!! for you!!! You’ll have to stop by to leave us a link.
I’m glad that the story was made up otherwise I’d have thrown Jack out of the window for being an incompetent dog owner.
As to the writing clear, Iââ¬â¢m terrible at it. After all these years of writing, I still need help. I can’t live without an editor.
Renee,
I’m glad the story is made up too, because I can’t imagine throwing a dog out the window . . . but I like the way the dog beats Jack at his own game anyway. 🙂
Needing an editor is not such a bad thing. It makes me feel like there’s a chance I might eat this week. 🙂
Good post, but bottom line is that this is why I have cats. 🙂
I wonder if that logic would stretch to explain . . . that is why I have a husband and a son???? 🙂
Hi Liz,
Definitely, hiring an editor is a MUST if one wants to get published.
I personally have worked with a few – some ok, some good, some would do better in closets.
There are tons of editors but to find one that compliments your thought is tough. I work well with editors who put an effort to educate me about my style rather than edit the whole book…quickly. This mode of editing will only make me have the same mistakes again, and frustrated editors. 😉
Wise thoughts, Renee, all of them.
An effective, engaged editor cares about the content and the person who wrote it. The editor’s job is to make sure that YOUR message gets across to the reader as YOU intended it — with every delicate nuance and flavor that you hoped it would have. A great editor crawls in your head and learns how to see through your eyes.
Liz, you took words out of my ‘thoughts’. Am I correct in saying this, Ms Editor! 🙂
If I am reading you correctly . . . you are saying that I am listening to what you aren’t saying. Yes, I’m doing that. 🙂
Your post titles are just hilarious sometimes Liz 😀 and a very funny story indeed.
Hi TechZ,
When you meet me in person, you’ll find out one of my favorite things to say is “I made you laugh!” Thank you. I’m smiling.