Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

Thinking, writing, business ideas … You’re only a stranger once.

April 7, 2009

Do Leaders Wear Jeans? Does What You Wear Show Who You Are?

ME Liz Strauss wrote this at 8:20 am

How We Look at Each Other

I’ve always been a bit frivolous and uninvolved with fashion. I like nice things, but I don’t like to spend time acquiring them, maintaining them, or thinking about the right thing to wear. Maybe it’s because I grew up with the luxury of school uniforms. Maybe it’s because I try not to define people by their clothes and their hairstyle. I say try because I know that I still do.

It’s not fair really, but I think things based on what people are wearing. We all do. We sort with our eyes before anyone even says a word. We assume a person’s visual presentation reflects his or her choices, values, and intelligence. We gravitate toward people who choose as we do. People who look like who they are and what they’re saying get our trust more easily. When the clothes and the conversation don’t match, we go with what we see.

How could I have been slow to realize that a disconnect in what people see would make it harder for them to “get” me? I connect more easily with people online than off.

Let’s consider something as simple as a pair of jeans. Who’d have thought that a new pair of jeans would shift my ability to connect by 180 degrees?

Do Leaders Wear Jeans?

When I first went to The Image Studios last fall, I was told that my jeans had to go. I argued with the idea.

I work with geeks. I don’t want to look younger, but I don’t want to look something I’m not. AND I sure don’t want to look my mother!

The smart stylist who had just met me. Let it go.

You might remember that right before SxSW Deshaia, a talented stylist from The Image Studios came to my condo for Wardrobe Smackdown 1. She explained again that my jeans had to go.

These jeans you have on are baggy, traditional, and acid washed. They say who you were. You need jeans that communicate who you are. In your case, they need to speak to Connected, Irresistible, Intuitive, Creative and Loving.

Jeans communication. Strangely enough I sort of got what she was saying. The jeans I had were from the 90s. They looked old fashioned and comfortable — not alive, creative, and innovative. My jeans drove off in a bag of Good Will donations for someone who authentically is still living in a baggy, traditional, acid washed world.

With no time to lose, I bought the new pair, contemporary and well fit. Suddenly, I understood — soon as I put them on I felt more “with it.” I’m sure I looked more connected to now than 10 years ago.

old jeans Joes Jeans


The new jeans (right) add credibility. I look like I know the ideas that suit the world now.

Do they change my thinking? Of course not. But they underscore my values before I even talk. That’s what this visible authenticity project is all about — being seen, heard, and understood on every level. When your jeans are working for you, you don’t have to work so hard.

Baggy, traditional, acid-washed jeans doesn’t communicate my ideas or my values.
Contemporary, well-fitting, one-of-kind jeans worth talking about do.

Does what you wear show who you are?

–ME “Liz” Strauss
Work with Liz!!

Related:
Visual Authenticity: How Do You Show Your Promise?
Why Play the Game, If We Aren’t Playing for Keeps?

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25 Comments to “Do Leaders Wear Jeans? Does What You Wear Show Who You Are?”

  1. April 7th, 2009 at 8:30 am
    Jack Leblond said

    I prefer to stick with the classics, Levis for me.

    I like your comment above “We gravitate toward people who choose as we do.” It’s very true. That’s why the phrase dress for the job you want, not the one you have has been around for so long.

  2. April 7th, 2009 at 8:30 am
    Betsy MacKinnon said

    It’s true. It’s not exactly what the clothes say about you but really the intersection where you and your clothes both fit: size, style, personality. Vapid, maybe, but first impressions matter and with clothes we are (albeit unconsciously) expressing ourselves. And when we know we look good, we feel good. This intersection gives confidence to be who we are.

  3. April 7th, 2009 at 8:31 am
    Musings of a Housewife said

    Liz, I love this! (And oh how I lurv Joes Jeans! :-)) I think you explained this so well. It’s not superficial to think about these things, but oftentimes we are told that it is. How you dress really does say something about who you are and what you are about. Those jeans are PERFECT for you!

  4. April 7th, 2009 at 8:41 am
    Lora said

    You hit it on the head. Denim in itself isn’t the problem, it’s the type of denim someone is wearing.

    I’m ridiculously guilty of judging people on their jeans. They don’t have to be $200, they just have to look current. Mom jeans and old jeans and ratty jeans and teen jeans have no place in the office, but a great fitting pair can go a long way.

  5. April 7th, 2009 at 8:42 am
    Bean said

    Over the years, I have had numerous battles over my wardrobe choices with institutions. I used to do a lot of social work in people’s homes and the institutions didn’t always appreciate that I wore a broomstick skirt to meet clients in moldy trailers and tar paper shacks. My skirts were cheap, didn’t show wrinkles, were easy to walk and climb around in and easy to clean. A suit wasn’t going to gain me access to these homes and set up barriers with my patients. I often ended up sitting on the floor or kneeling next to a bed. For me, authenticity meant connecting with my patients and their families. If I had to go to court with them, I would wear my power suit and felt as completely authentic. Being a patient advocate meant dressing the part for the patient and the situation, not necessarily what the county thought all professional staff members should wear. That was authentic to me as an advocate.

  6. April 7th, 2009 at 8:49 am
    Lissa Boles said

    So interesting and insightful. I’ve rarely been interested in fashion, other than in my ‘do you like me now’ phase (okay - phases). Even then it was a mishmash of trendy attempts to fit in instead of build a wardrobe that really fit me.

    Who knew what that was then anyway!?

    Fast forward 16 (increasingly make-up, hair-color and trend free) years and I’m only now interested in attempting to bridge the divide I intentionally inserted between me and all things ‘fashion’ so I could explore and source myself apart from all that stuff.

    I do believe I’m feeling intrigued and a teensy bit fashion-adventurous again. Huh. Look at that…

  7. April 7th, 2009 at 9:12 am
    Eric Peterson said

    What a great article Liz! I think that what we wear does show a bit of who we are. It also shows a bit of how we feel. When we’re feeling lazy or down, don’t we tend to wear something different than when we feel perky and happy? This then begs the question: Do we dress how we feel? Or, do we feel how we dress? I’ll leave that up for debate.

    Final Thought: If how we dress (what we wear) shows a bit of who we are, and we are concsiously changing how we dress for different situations (i.e. job interviews, business dinners, blind dates, etc), then are we truly being authentic in showing who we are?

    I don’t have an answer…I just thought I’d pose the question for discussion!

    Thanks Liz….It’s great to back in the blogosphere taking part in conversation!

  8. April 7th, 2009 at 10:00 am
    Andi said

    My husband and I always discuss the jean topic. It is a hard one! I would wear jeans every single day if I could, and I have come to understand that I can, if they are the right ones. I think clothes definitely weigh heavily on first impressions - this is unfortunate, because I don’t have a huge interest in clothes either, but I always tell myself that my sunny disposition and ehtusiasm makes up for it!

  9. April 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am
    Karin H said

    Hi Liz (love your new jeans)

    I’m a jeans wearer too, but do hair-cut and jewelery count is this matter too? As my clothes, it is simple (what else is new? ;-)), short hair-cut, simple golden ring, watch and spectacles. But added to complete the picture is a simple golden (all small links)chain with for me all meaningful charms - some bought by mesulf, some given by friends.

    Simple, but with individual ‘add-ons’ ;-) - that’s me (in jeans and ‘wide sweaters’ in the winter/spring/autumn and wide t-shirts/blouses in the summer)

    Watched a program yesterday evening where they discussed ties for men - old-fashion or professional? Althoug I’m quite modern, ties do look great - and nowadays the variety in ties makes everyone still a stylish indicidual IMHO

    Karin H. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart, specially in business)

  10. April 7th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
    Barb Hartsook said

    At 15 I was a bit shy and most certainly quiet. Never any fan-fare when I entered a room. And that was okay… it would have embarrassed me then.

    One Friday afternoon my best friend and I went into a cosmetics store and were offered free make-overs, no obligation. It took all of half a second to decide. Yes!

    Both of us left grinning and giddy, walking taller, with more energy, our postures more erect. That night we went to our school’s Friday night sock-hop and I met a college guy who became a good friend over the next several years.

    I asked him much later why he walked right over to me that night, not knowing who I was, and asked me to dance.

    I wore the same clothes I always wore, had the same hair style. And the make up — while expertly applied — was subtle, my usual style.

    So what was different about me?

    It was the look about me, he said. Confident, having a sense of myself, like I knew who I was and was on my way to somewhere. (He was preparing to develop his own business, which he did, successfully. He was the type of person he saw in me. And he related to it.)

    So, confirming a point you made: We attract those most like us. (Or what appears initially, visually, to be most like us.)

    And, as Eric said above, we wear how we feel. That night I wore a confident presence, and it showed beyond the jeans and hair style. (Which I happen to think are important, just not exclusively.)

    Always good conversation here, Liz. :)
    Barb

  11. April 7th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    @Jack Great point about dressing for the position you want. If we know where we’re going it’s a great way to start living the part.

    @Betsy What we wear telegraphs the choices we make — what we choose to share about ourselves. Whether we care about details, about following the crowd, about making a statement and how much.

    @Musings of a Housewife Those jeans say a lot about the fact that I’m seeing myself and my place in the world in new ways. People have noticed it positively. YEA!!

  12. April 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Lora!
    If we wear mom jeans, we have to realize that folks are going to see our ideas in the frame of someone who may be out of date with what’s current. That doesn’t reflect well on us or our work. I agree.

    Hi Bean!
    Some folks make policies with the best intentions. Then enforce them until they don’t do or mean what they were meant to do or mean. People with sense, like you, see right past poligices that don’t make sense.

    Hi Lissa,
    One of the things that I’m finding is that it’s time to challenge my ideas of what expresses me the best. I like that. Hopefully, your new curiosity will do that for you. :)

  13. April 7th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Eric!
    I think that we change our behavior for the setting we’re in — from our “outdoor voices to indoor voices” or “casual conversation to courtroom behavior” <– all of them are us. Why wouldn’t the way we choose to dress for each of them be authentic too?

  14. April 7th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
    ME Liz Strauss said

    Hi Andi!
    These days a fabulous pair of jeans can take you most anywhere I agree. Though I don’t suppose I would chance wearing them to meet the queen. Heh heh. :)

    Hi Barb,
    Your story says so much. Yeah we do attract those who feel that sympatico attraction to what they see in us. I’m sure of it. Why would people who see something “other” want to start a conversation?

  15. April 7th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
    Todd Smith said

    Great analogy, Liz. The appearance is not the issue, it’s about matching our own authentic self with the appearance we are making. Your new jeans look great, btw. :)

  16. April 7th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
    Robert Hruzek said

    It’s funny, now that you mention it, but the clothes I wear are usually a reflection of either how I feel at the time, or (on a good day) how I want to feel - and look like I feel.

    But here’s the thing. Once that initial decision is made and the clothes go on… I pretty much forget about it and just go on with my day. So I guess the authentic me shows through no matter what I have on.

    ‘Course, I found a way to beat that rat-race: wear a cool hat! Now that’s pretty much all folks remember! :-D

  17. April 7th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
    Tim Bursch said

    I think our clothes can display what is going on inside. Most of the time. Sometimes we need to get the inside and outside lined up and that takes a friend or another point of view.

    I think I would add the eyes. When I walk past a person that will not make eye contact, I usually (sometimes I think they’re a jerk) wonder what is going on. Likewise a leader has confident passion-filled eyes.

    We are the sum of our parts. Complex and amazing.

  18. April 8th, 2009 at 5:59 am
    Carnival of Education #214: The Day To End All Days | Blogging | So You Want To Teach? said

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  19. April 8th, 2009 at 9:37 am
    Geoff Livingston said

    Currently wearing Seven for All Mankind. :) I have black ones, too for business meetings.

  20. April 9th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
    Stacy Brice said

    I used to care what others thought–a lot.

    As I’ve gotten older, I care more about what I think, and how I feel in what I wear (including accessories, hair, makeup, and the like).

    Caring didn’t prevent me from getting 18 holes in my head that God didn’t put there, but not caring allowed me to get my 19th, and the only one anyone can see as soon as they’re face-to-face with me…my nose piercing.

    Interestingly enough, very few people who knew me noticed my nose piercing, and when it was pointed out, they often tilted their heads and asked, “Wasn’t that always there?”

    Shows how much folks really pay attention. Or maybe, how much it all really matters. ;)

    S

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